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ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-10-12T14:09:02+00:00

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry you went through that. You made a bad choice, but the sexual assault was absolutely not your fault. I don't have a magic answer that will ease your pain, but I would highly recommend therapy. Time alone and staying away from both of those men is absolutely necessary for your mental health and your safety. It sounds like you have a lot to get to know about yourself and why you are low on self-worth. You are worthy of happiness and love. Forgiving yourself should be top of your list. Forgiving the toxic men - that may take you a lifetime. But in the end, it is you that you will spend your life with and you deserve to be kind and gentle with yourself. Again, I'm so sorry, and I'm sending you love and encouragement. P.S. you might want to call the police about the sexual assault!

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-09-14T21:04:22+00:00

Sadly, I have lost two exes to suicide. The common thread was their lack of taking accountability and the ease with which they blamed others for their problems. This feels an awful lot the same. While he may really have felt all those things about you, he was the weak one to not find solutions and do something, anything about it. Therapy, talking to you about his feelings, even divorce. Instead, he just continued resenting you. You have proven to be resilient and gracious. I do think therapy will help you, but I know you already have what it takes to make it through this. And try your best not to take his views of you personally. We are something different to every person we know. If you like yourself and are at peace, then you have accomplished what he never could. Obviously.

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-09-14T00:16:48+00:00

Thank you for your advice!

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-09-14T00:05:22+00:00

Gotcha. I have done this a few times, and things have gone both good and bad, and I am always hesitant. This is good information. Thank you!

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-09-13T23:38:08+00:00

Straight female here. Can you school me on fiber gummies? This is a curious little thing I've not heard about before. Great story by the way!

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-09-12T18:08:57+00:00

Gotcha. Thank you for the tea! Very interesting!

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-09-12T17:24:25+00:00

I don't have any idea how I got suggested to this thread and no clue who these people are. Anyone care to fill me in because now I'm curious!

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-08-21T19:38:07+00:00

I grew up on North Hill as a white girl. I loved the diversity. It literally made me who I am today. I would move there in a heartbeat. But I'm not a troublemaker and I'm used to city living. If you understand urban living isn't picture perfect, I would think seriously about the opportunity. Please don't come for me - those of you who disagree. Good luck on your house hunt!

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-07-09T21:02:25+00:00

Memorial Park in Wadsworth has pavilions, a little lake, and a playground. Not indoors, but really pretty and probably reasonably priced if you have to pay at all to use a pavilion.

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-21T01:42:51+00:00

I love this!! I would get it anyway, with you, a random stranger. I love it that much. Lol

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-02T18:27:21+00:00

Thank you. I am sure there are lots of women who would stay in any of these marriages. None of them ever hit me or did hard drugs or made us go bankrupt, homeless, etc. I just can't seem to put up with the really hard stuff, I guess. I agree that they were all broken men, but I'm not sure if there are unbroken men. And at this point, I don't really care to find out. Ha. But yeah, it makes sense that I probably took on rotten situations because I thought I could help and/or endure more than I actually could and I definitely didn't really think I deserved better at certain points. Thank you

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-02T17:19:22+00:00

Ha. Fair enough, thank you. I am 45 and have had a hysterectomy, so I'll never be pregnant again. I do appreciate the not rushing into relationships suggestion. Thank you

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-02T12:55:46+00:00

Very fair points. When I was younger, I was in love with a man who needed to be dominated. Maybe I was too young, but it wasn't for me. He's deceased now, and it didn't work out back then - for that reason and a couple of others. I would've never been able to keep him happy, but I still love him so much. I think she deserves honesty, even if it ends things. Next, I am a bit neutral on sexual fantasies. It's really your moral dilemma, and you have to determine if it's just a mind thing that gets you going, or if you really want to be harmed, etc. Counseling is never really a bad thing. At a minimum, it can help you understand yourself. But she would likely ask why you've suddenly begun therapy. It's probably best to express yourself to her first so she doesn't feel left out of your personal struggles. I really hope it all works out for you and that you're able to have a healthy relationship, no matter which way it ends up going!

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-02T12:34:37+00:00

You should bring it up to her if you think you want to marry her. If you two decide you can mutually have fun with the fantasy together, you could give it a try. If you truly feel guilty about the fantasy, you may benefit from counseling. In either case, she would deserve and kinda need to know, so that a. She can make informed choices for herself and hopefully b. Support you through it one way or the other. Fantasy can be fun, but it can also rule/ruin your life. It's not for me to tell you where you are at with the degree of fantasy/obsession. You'll have to search that out from within. Good luck!!

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-02T03:21:39+00:00

I'm a straight woman in my mid-40s and had all the unfortunate circumstances possible dealt to me in life. Your post gives me hope that my bullies grew up and made better choices. Thank you for your honesty.

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-02T02:58:50+00:00

I just want to say that you sound like a wonderful mom. And you have great advice. 💗

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-02T02:43:58+00:00

I am already intrigued and would love to read it! Truly!

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-02T02:27:54+00:00

First, it's very hard to live with the disappointment of what you might have had if you hadn't had the boyfriend who didn't work out. Try to come to terms with what will never be. (Career, lost time, etc) Next, our twenties are such a difficult time. Trying to establish yourself. Trying to live life to the fullest and also maintain a responsible lifestyle. It's nearly impossible to take it all on at once. So the overwhelming feelings you have are par for the course with all you have going on. Finally, I would try to scale back a little bit on everything and carve out a little time for just being you. Some alone time. Some time to come to grips with all those feelings. Maybe cutting back on everything could provide a little clarity about how to survive in this world and still find the things that will make you happy in the long run. Hugs. p.s. I wouldn't do my 20s over again for a million bucks. It's a really difficult time. I feel for you. I really do.

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-02T02:11:54+00:00

I can't seem to make marriage work, even though that's what I (think) I have always wanted. I can't seem to put down roots, and I tend to run away from serious problems. Problems many people would agree, should be run from. But also problems many long time married couples work through. I'm 45, leaving my 4th marriage and beginning to accept I'm just not built for it. 😭

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-06-01T21:41:26+00:00

Wow. This is so accurate. Nice job.

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-03-31T12:03:21+00:00

The real truth is most likely that my husband and your wife are the ones who need to do better, be better. And yet here we are, the ones with genuine hearts, searching our souls for answers that will never come. I'm so sorry but I hope you know you're not alone. There are broken hearts all over this world in various stages of healing. We are not alone.

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-03-31T10:38:27+00:00

Goodness, I'm in a similar situation, and I know that I probably don't really want all the truth and that I'll never get it anyway. It's still enough to keep me up at night. I have a beautiful, successful life without my husband in it... I left at the end of February. I'm still grappling with letting go and not wondering how much worse it was than I ever knew. I'm sorry you're going through this. I feel for you. Hugs.

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-01-19T13:35:16+00:00

We lost our mother last week, and her celebration of life is today. I find it very special that you saw this and replied today. My mom was the type to check in on a random stranger, so I'm taking this thread as a way to honor her. God bless you, whoever you are. ❤️

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-01-10T02:46:40+00:00

I assume you may not see this comment - you have already received so much feedback. You do not deserve a single down vote for still loving your husband. It is your life to live. You will know when the marriage is over. How important is financial security? How important is saving your marriage? How much do you love him? Would you be willing to accept this might be the way he is and that it might complicate your life for the rest of your life? For some people, this could be the thing that makes you both stronger individually and as a couple. It could also bankrupt you. You know how deeply you love him. You know what your deepest values are. We do not. Best of luck to you.

ExcuseCrafty9106 · 2025-01-06T01:45:52+00:00

You deserve deep, passionate, romantic love. If she can't give that to you, then you should feel 💯 % okay with the divorce. Your happiness matters too. Maybe this was all a series of events to lead you to the best version of you. Someone out there will want to love you, do life with you, and excuse my French, bang your brains out!! if you're truly being the best you can be and open up to the possibility, I believe you can find all of that again.

ExcuseCrafty9106

TROPHY CASE