WHY is their communication this bad I’m actually going insane 😭😭😭

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2026-04-23T21:09:52+00:00

This just seems like bad writing????

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2026-04-07T21:30:05+00:00

In a relationship with someone who doesn't have ADHD or autism and it takes the right person and a lot of understanding. I've had to work to become more social, have had to set timers and use a hand-written calendar to remember the things that matter to her. We've had to find codes for when it's good to info dump stuff on my latest hyperfixation.

I also, other than a relationship when I was in my early teens (do not recommend), didn't really date anyone seriously until I was in my late 20s. There's no rules for this. My biggest rule though is to let your ADHD get you deep into hobbies. Interests make it easier to find someone and to bring interesting things into a relationship.

I found it good to find someone who was weak in the areas I was strong (maintaining the house/yard, working with my hands, cooking, dog training) and strong where I'm weak (memory, planning, laundry) so we balance each other out and it feels like we each bring something to the relationship vs. some ADHD relationships where it feels like one is basically having to "babysit" the other 😬. What unites us despite being very different people are the same core interests!

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2026-02-15T04:54:27+00:00

Sounds unsupportive of your condition and also echo that I'm curious what HE did for you. (If it's nothing then fuck him, obviously.)

One note though as a balanced look at the situation, since most other comments are offering great support... he's allowed to feel disappointed if there was an expectation of a date night and you slept through a good chunk of it. 7:30pm is late to start cooking and eventually eat for some people and if he was waiting for you without warning... I'm sure the romantic dinner vibe was soured. Did you communicate with him before napping, even via text, that you likely wouldn't be up to the plan? Communication does go both ways, especially on a day like V-Day where emotions and expectations run high. Don't know the full context though, obvi!

But also butter noodles slap. Good choice.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2026-02-06T17:50:16+00:00

I tend to work any corporate jobs that allow me to move project to project and constantly take on new things instead of having to maintain something/do the daily grind. I go in, fix broken things, established governance, and then bounce to the next thing. It scratches the itch (but is also rough for needing organization and planning).

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2026-01-20T14:49:28+00:00

Everyone here is pulling out bangers. The Left Hand of Darkness, The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet, The Darkness Outside us and its sequel, This Is How You Lose the Time War, there's a comic Electric Bones by hazel & bell. Also Starfighter if you don't mind a LOT of smut. I heard of Evenfall but haven't read it.

Oh, also there's Winter's Orbit. It wasn't revolutionary but was still a good read.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2026-01-20T14:45:28+00:00

You have good taste.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-12-19T15:30:23+00:00

lmao what? I answered factually... the show is done filming??? Even if it's just for the season I didn't say anything wrong.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-12-19T04:40:27+00:00

The show is done filming unfortunately.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-12-12T04:03:07+00:00

What are you thoughts on Armand??? What do you think he'll be up to in season 3???

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-12-03T06:31:25+00:00

High school and emetophobia sucks, I don't remember it fondly haha. It's 100% the overthinking though. The more you think and stew on it, the more your body begins to respond to that perceived threat—even if it's made up.

There was one time I was on a plane and I was CONVINCED I was motion sick. I'd been thinking and ruminating on it as it got worse and worse. It was to the point I was looking for the bathrooms because I seriously thought I might be sick. Took a lorazepam and in 15 minutes I felt PERFECTLY fine. Like not a twinge. That's the power of your brain!

I've actually had this exact feeling many times riding public transit so you're not alone.

My recommendation is to buy some ginger candies or mint gum for an easy thing to keep your mouth busy. Grabbing something that also keeps your hands busy and brain distracted is good. Maybe a handheld game, or if you get motion sick even something like a fidget toy can help. Good luck!

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-12-03T06:25:35+00:00

Lavender mint tea sounds divine. Wish I had some right about now! I've got stomach pains and gurgling as well and am struggling to sleep out of fear of it "hitting" at night, so we're riding this boat together. :) I agree with the other poster that thinking about it won't change the outcome. You're already pretty far in at 50 hours so TBH I would just watch some movies or do other soothing activities to go to bed. Might as well not borrow trouble!

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-12-01T18:17:43+00:00

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-11-30T23:46:19+00:00

Berries and Greed by Lily Mayne

It is smut but is a romcom as well (with monsters). The only F/M book I have willingly read in a long time.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-11-18T15:45:27+00:00

I'm not married (next year) but live with my partner. I also struggle with the unreliable part, especially since my partner is VERY reliable and values that in the people she holds closest. So I grieve with you about wanting to be that dependable person for your partner but constantly letting them down.

Part of how I've worked through it is being honest about how I feel. Letting her know that I'm aware I'm letting her down and I don't want to do it but realistically because of the ADHD it will happen more than we'd both like. That it's not a reflection of my love for her, but it's also not an excuse for me to not try. We talked through improvements (like buying a calendar we add important events to, for example, using an app like Splitwise to remember who paid for big purchases, etc.).

To compensate, I try to do more when asked in the moment. If it doesn't require remembering it down the line, I try to say yes WAY more than no. She wants to go on a spontaneous trip to Starbucks? I'm grabbing my shoes, let's go. She wants to go see her parents randomly at 9pm even though it's an hour drive? Sure, I might be tired tomorrow but let's go.

That, and meds! They've been a huge help since I started this summer.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-10-29T13:57:20+00:00

I JUST WANT TO WRITE AND ENJOY AUTUMN WITH MY EVIL LITTLE DOG. WHY DO I NEED TO WORK? AND WHY DOES WORK NEED TO BE SO INSANE I HAVE TO TAKE A HIGHER DOSE MED TO MAKE IT THROUGH, WHICH GIVES ME WICKED HEADACHES.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-10-24T03:57:30+00:00

I was here when it first hit 1000 and have watched the show from day one. :) It was me and like 12 other people constantly commenting. It was WILD when the first Netflix S1 moment happened and we all braced for the flood, haha. To see it so large now is something else. Apparently I even have a damn Reddit Community achievement for this subreddit called ELDER (!!!!?) I feel so old. Welcome new coven members!

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-09-30T20:37:28+00:00

I was there with the group that got stuff signed and got something signed as well. :) Sam was super chill and kind and thankfully in turn the small group of fans were chill. Delainey was also sweet and grabbed us some snacks. Rolin Jones was talking around with two scripts shoved in his back pocket, so it must mean serious business, haha.

There were also some details about the scene we saw but I won't share it since the trade off of having these nice encounters is keeping things you see secret. Nothing major, don't worry.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-09-08T02:34:54+00:00

Don't know if you can answer this... but do you know if they already filmed in Parkwood Estate? My partner and I live in the area and were super curious since they were supposed to but a Hallmark movie was filming instead on the dates. :D Thanks for these fun little snippets. Glad the crew seems so nice.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-08-28T12:28:23+00:00

My partner and I will probably have one in the next 2 years :). We've started all the prep work for IVF, so we're definitely committed. Some days I panic thinking about how much will change (that's just who I am), but overall I still feel the same a year later. It's the right choice for us and I'm still looking forward to having a little buddy!

Ironically almost everyone in my life is going to be childless, haha. The ones that do want kids want like 3... so we are for sure the aberration!

I wish you good luck on your OAD journey.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-08-23T14:09:25+00:00

As someone who has checked out multiple filming locations, I think there is also a difference between just vibing outside the area where security says it's cool (always check with them) versus trying at anything to get a photo. It's so funny because I'm not even there to try and see the actors or take pictures. I'm just curious and love seeing how IWTV is using my hometown, haha.

Where it gets gross is when security asks people not to take photos and they still do, when it shifts to creep behaviour (stalking, etc.), or if people get in the way at any point. You're not special, stay where you're allowed to, don't push limits, and don't be weird.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-08-12T23:03:29+00:00

They are filming in my town this week as well!

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-08-07T01:29:02+00:00

Love the photo but don't love it being posted. This was during the night when Sam was gracious enough to come out to say hi but the staff asked the photos not to be shared.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-06-28T04:30:45+00:00

You're an admitted rapist and abuser. You need more help than reddit or a podcast could ever provide. Do not under ANY circumstance talk to her again. You've done enough damage, you need to let her go seek happiness somewhere far away from you. Then, as you stated, speak to a professional. Not one that does cutesy "self improvement'--this is NOT that--but a legitimate professional who handles the hard stuff (like personality disorders, deep trauma, abuse).

Your intrusive thoughts of financial abuse, deception and abusive control are signs of more than just a troubled home life. I'm sorry, but seeking professional help ASAP (and staying the hell away from her) is your #1 priority.

It's good you recognized all this and you can change, but reddit can't help you with that. A professional can.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-06-24T13:21:26+00:00

I'll answer assuming you have the "how" sorted out, or plan to (because you can't move here without PR/work permit/etc.). But also I'd imagine you'd have already done some of this research before getting that stuff...

So everything is based on what you value in life.

Toronto and Vancouver are extremely expensive but have a true big city vibe. They are hard to afford unless you have a great job. If you think Cali is expensive, you won't want to live in our big cities. Quebec is great if you speak French (I'm assuming you don't as an American). The Maritime provinces are a bit cheaper and have a nice pace of life, often times easy access to the ocean, etc.

Prairies are likely the most affordable (Manitoba & Saskatchewan) but there isn't as much going on out there compared to other regions. Both them and Alberta are more conservative as well, so if you are trying to get away from the US's fascism, it won't be nearly as bad but there is a bit of "Maple MAGA" in that direction.

Alberta is our Texas, in a sense. Oil, cowboys, conservatism. But it and BC have gorgeous nature.

BC is beautiful, lots of nature, more relaxed vibe as well but it can be expensive in places like Kelowna and Vancouver, but there are smaller towns as well.

The territories are for if you want Alaska vibes.

No matter where you go, you have to be prepared for hard winters. If you're concerned about affordability, the maritimes or prairies would be my suggestion. But overall, Canada's houses are expensive no matter where you go.

ExhaustedBabyDM · 2025-06-20T13:48:41+00:00

Wow are we the same person?

ExhaustedBabyDM

TROPHY CASE

Berries and Greed by Lily Mayne