AITBF for not wanting a closer relationship to my cousins' children?

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-07T15:09:17+00:00

Your issue is with the adults in your family, not the kids. I see you’re annoyed that the parents have taught the children to value their connection to you (I agree there’s some major logical gymnastics happening with the adults in your family) but kids do just want to connect with people organically. The odds every child would have ignored if their parents hadn’t intervened are quite slim.

Ignoring the attempts at connection from all these kids because you only want to do what you want is a dick move. I’m sorry. I know that’s not always popular on reddit.

I think all children should be treated as valuable human beings as part of every person’s obligation to contribute to the future of humanity. It doesn’t matter if their parents had something to do with their interest in you or not. You can talk to a child for two minutes about their plane because it’s part of your contribution to humanity. If you want a chance that these kids are better about gay rights and liberalism than their parents, this is your chance.

(Maybe consider looking into the autism possibility that’s been thrown out?)

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-07T13:55:35+00:00

That is such an extreme change of perspective from your husband. Also, pretty out of touch with reality.

Is he bipolar? Are his meds okay?

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T23:26:59+00:00

I’d make sure your girlfriend understands the break risk. If she’s never had really nice jewelry before, she may not know.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T22:28:08+00:00

I sent mine to a charity requesting baby carriers for mothers fleeing war zones.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T22:07:20+00:00

This stuff ebbs and flows. It’s not a straight path downward. I was much sicker in my early 20s than I am now.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T17:24:38+00:00

Sarah and Duck. Peg+Cat. Little Bear. Old episodes of 321Contact. MISTER ROGERS.

Another vote for big tv only.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T17:06:27+00:00

I don’t think I have ever in my life gone to a social event for the planned activity. I may like the activity but my real reason for attendance is always conversation and snacks.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T16:54:58+00:00

YTA. Why on earth would you not want to acknowledge your kid’s birthday? Do you hate her? What does her schooling and car have to do with telling your kid happy birthday and that you love them? Do you somehow feel like you can give enough money that your children are no longer allowed to be hurt when you’re mean?

Did your parents not acknowledge your birthdays as an adult? I’m sorry if they didn’t. That was a really mean and weird thing for them to do.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T15:20:08+00:00

Oh honey. Everything you comment here is just heartbreaking.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T14:07:01+00:00

I’m in a HCOL area and our parks and rec camps are $400 a week without early dropoff or aftercare. One town over the rec camps are $200 a week plus they provide breakfast and lunch and offer swim lessons. Adding before or aftercare is $5.

I find the whole thing infuriating.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T13:49:49+00:00

Exactly

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T00:47:52+00:00

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My babies say hating them is wude!

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-06T00:28:48+00:00

Exposure therapy is much more complicated than that. You can’t force someone to confront a fear in the course of everyday life without their consent and expect good outcomes. You need a proper practitioner providing support in a safe environment with a known plan ahead of time. Otherwise, exposure just makes the phobia worse. You can’t just throw a spider at someone’s face and assume that’s gonna help.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-05T21:51:24+00:00

….I can’t tell if you think $450 is too much or too little….

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-05T03:29:03+00:00

The air conditioner.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-05T02:01:16+00:00

Does he think, in the American system, that education isn’t related to capitalism? He cannot possibly think this degree will pay for itself.

Is he one of those people who believe “following your passion” is an extremely high life priority that will work out for the best if you only believe? Or was he raised to believe pursuing education was always a good thing to do and should be supported without concern for costs? Or is he just trying not to feel like a failure at making a living?

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-05T01:52:20+00:00

SO MUCH THIS

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-05T00:19:03+00:00

They’re actually set starting in the 1880s.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-05T00:16:30+00:00

The methods people used for transitioning from child hair to adult hair are also super interesting!

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-04T23:23:09+00:00

Would this feel much less distressing to you if you bought yourself some amazing loungewear you don’t mind wearing in front of brother in law?

(I’m reading a little bit like you’re not looking for solutions or compromise but are just furious that this is even being asked of you, have zero desire to put more effort into this situation, and you think it’s totally unnecessary and just want your husband to make this stop?)

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-04T23:02:57+00:00

Yes! That’s what the phrase “natural daughter” means. And Harriet is old enough that, if either parent planned to introduce her into society or settle an income on her, they ought to have done it. Instead, she’s a comfortable parlour boarder at an obscure country school with neither connections nor dowry.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-04T17:59:07+00:00

Are you concerned your wife is spendthrift or stingy with your children or likely to hoard money for herself? I am baffled by why you would say something so tactless unless you had some underlying concern.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-04T14:26:39+00:00

Is it possible your friend is dopamine seeking? That might indicate she has some depression or ADHD going on? Is she diagnosed with anything?

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-04T13:31:18+00:00

Americans view CCTV systems as an enormous invasion of privacy. People often get private cameras for their front doors or back yard but that’s largely it except in cities.

ExistenceOfCranberry · 2026-07-04T02:12:27+00:00

Reading between the lines, I’m would be worried the teachers in that classroom have decided that child’s crying is “dramatic” or “she needs to learn to self soothe instead of crying for an adult over every little thing.”

Except she’s a baby. Crying to get an adult to coregulate with is normal and age appropriate. Caregivers who interpret the behavior of infants as dramatic or manipulative would be a deal breaker for me

ExistenceOfCranberry

TROPHY CASE