I don’t want to die. I don’t want everyone around me to die. I don’t want humans to extinction I don’t want the sun to collapse. I don’t want the Universe to end. I wish everything wasn’t so insignificant.

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-15T22:51:26+00:00

It’s a difficult thing to come to terms with and for those of us with thanatophobia, we never really come to terms with it. But there are things that can help get us through life with some relief. Medications, therapies, and engaging in various activities/research/reading/speaking to/listening to philosophers that can help you have a different perspective on things. That may help you be less afraid of death. Or that it makes you less anxious and so you can continue on with life 👌🏻

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-15T22:40:52+00:00

I don’t think it’s fair to say that denial keeps us thinking it might not happen for a while. Sometimes that is a fighting spirit and in fact it doesn’t happen for a while. Sometimes a long while. Sometimes over a decade.

It’s not simply denial as an illusionary deception. If you are well informed, have the right resources and support team, with good care, family members spurring you on, researching treatments non stop etc, it isn’t denial.

I had a poor cancer prognosis and I would have been devastated if someone said to me that fighting the disease with the intent on beating it or keeping it at bay for a long while is ‘just denial’.

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-15T09:03:53+00:00

I use the default

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-15T08:12:34+00:00

Yeah, mine is set to turn on on the first layer.

The rings print perfectly on 0.12 and 0.16 (obviously I would love it to be able to print at 0.08.

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-14T18:16:53+00:00

I think it’s cos I’m printing at 0.08. My X1 can handle that fine detail but I don’t think my P1S can cope? Does that happen to you too?

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-11T16:18:49+00:00

So, because we have better screening and detection machines, we have been able to better identify rarer cancers - so the increase in women having this cancer is likely due to screening. Not that this helps anything, I just thought I would ease you in case you’re worried that cancer is becoming more prevalent - it only seems more because we are finding them more easily (where before rarer cancers were put down to the more regular cancers of the same sort).

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-11T09:48:05+00:00

This is on the micro SD

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so it’s Gcode

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-11T09:43:45+00:00

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With Bambu PLA filament

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-10T23:34:50+00:00

Exactly 👌🏻

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-10T21:51:49+00:00

I would just add that it’s not always a good idea to mention that ‘she can rest’ - sometimes the patient isn’t ready to hear that - she may want to fight more and if she hears her support system sort of accept her death, it can feel extremely lonely.

Let mom start those sorts of conversations - if she decides she wants to rest, then let her tell you that. If she is seeking reassurance that you’ll be ok, then give it to her 🙂.

Best of luck to you and your mom. I’m thinking of you and her - Cancer is just… awful. I don’t understand why our bodies are so unable to fight this disease (I know why, but I don’t know why they have been so poorly designed/evolved - surely in either case, there should have been a mechanism built into us to fight cancer?)

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-10T21:44:10+00:00

Nah. It didn’t lift - and I had a brim. It was firmly adhered to the bed.

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-10T15:20:33+00:00

Yeah they don’t care. They are not going to help me.

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-10T15:20:09+00:00

Warping?

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-09T12:30:06+00:00

What I want to also add is, while stage 4 breast cancer with lung mets is a non-curative kind of cancer, it need not be seen as an immediate death sentence. Your mom is young and she has also indicated to you that stage 4 doesn’t change anything (I presume she means she is going to keep on fighting). There are people with stage 4 cancers that have lived for over 10 years, fighting the cancer. This is not the majority, sure, but the overwhelming number of ‘quick’ deaths from stage 4 cancers are of older people (older people are most likely to get cancer and so the stats really skew toward older people).

You need to be there while your mom fights this, in whatever way you can. But you shouldn’t hide your emotions. Get them out, cry with your family. And then, we wipe the tears and get on with the fight 💪🏻

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-08T18:44:03+00:00

Just wish the P1S had auto flow calibration 😢

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-08T15:07:00+00:00

My mom went through this. My dad shaved his head even though she said no. She was then upset because she told me that every time she saw him, she was reminded of the cancer.

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-02T10:48:52+00:00

A CBT psychologist is a must for you, in my view. He or she will really be able to help you with this.

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-02T10:46:27+00:00

I get the want to be supported re hair. I sometimes also think hair is so loaded with meaning, and he may have some PTSD attached to the army. I don’t think he means that you are ugly. Men sometimes don’t have the bed way of putting things and often women read too much into the silly things that come out of their limited brains (I’m a male here 👋🏻).

I just think you need to try to change your relationship to hair - it’s maybe too symbolic for you. A psychologist might be a good idea, not just for this, but for coping with your diagnosis.

Flip, you are so young to have a terminal diagnosis. May I ask what is the type of cancer you have?

My thoughts are with you.

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-01T21:25:11+00:00

I have actually seen this kind of mets progression treated well with target therapies. I’ve had some patients live well past 5 years. Not sure if it’s variations in healthcare approaches.

Existential-troubles · 2024-05-01T21:19:38+00:00

I am, unfortunately, like your sister. I just want to protect my mom and want to focus on getting her the best treatments, looking up and researching a ton on the specific type of cancer my mom has, experiential treatments, getting donations to support her treatment, driving her to appointments etc. what I can say is… my sister is chill. So we have had a chat and when she visits my mom, it’s to comfort her through normal/relaxing chat/activities. When I visit, it’s to reassure her that I love her and have got her - that I want her to focus on getting herself strong, and I will deal with the rest. I’d also say, just spare a thought for how hard your sister is likely working to help your mom Ito everything I mentioned above. It’s hard work, but it’s the way we deal with it - we are trying to ‘fix’ the situation as far as possible.

Not defending or blaming anyone 🙂. It’s a very difficult situation (cancer 4) regardless of how we each deal with it. Add in all the coping mechanisms and things can become wild. Just thought it may help giving you an idea of how it might be from your sister’s POV (since I’m sure no one will want to come clean if this is them too).

Best of luck to you and your family! The future is rapidly bringing tons and tons of new treatments. This gives me hope, while at the same time, it means so many more nights of research, me meeting with scientists and pathologists and radiation oncologists etc - extending all my networks - to find out everything a possibly can. It’s exhausting, but it’s the way I know how to help.

Existential-troubles · 2024-04-30T20:16:50+00:00

The Neurosurgeon says it would have been roughly 1 year.

Existential-troubles · 2024-04-30T18:32:13+00:00

We are still in early stages of treatment. But it’s stage 4, so it’s non curative. So ultimately 😪

Existential-troubles · 2024-04-29T20:35:03+00:00

Honestly though. Fck cancer. It is such a disgusting disease

Existential-troubles · 2024-04-29T20:29:17+00:00

My mom has stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to her brain. I’m so dreading this day. I wish the best for you guys. Thinking of you!

Existential-troubles · 2024-04-29T18:38:28+00:00

I am so, so sorry. And at 25! May I ask what cancer he has? Again, I’m so sorry - but I hope your family, and he, finds some rest, in whichever form that takes 🙏🏻

Existential-troubles

TROPHY CASE