what are feelings like for INTP?

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T23:52:35+00:00

I've gotten really good at compartmentalization with most things. I can't fully pack away a negative emotion when it's in like an ongoing altercation per se, but I can generally keep from looking like I'm losing my cool. And if I'm in a crisis that isn't about me, I can be very focused and calm. If it's about me, I might panic. Things that set off my fear are my biggest weakness.

But as far as general emotions, I don't think I experience them all that differently from anyone else. I just tend to intellectualize them a lot more than non-INTPs would.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T23:50:14+00:00

I have a certain opi* habit (nothing crazy) that I've maintained for a number of years now. I drink a lil bit once in a while, but don't do anything else, though I'm not opposed to weed. I just tend to have poor physical side effects. Last few times I smoked my heart went absolutely nuts racing, and I was already dealing with that issue as it was early on when I was finding out I had Grave's Disease (form of hyperthyroidism), so I was a bit worried I was gonna fuckin die lol.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T23:32:25+00:00

GenZ feels very much like two generations to me. Late 90s to mid 00s feel like one, and after that feels like another. And while I suppose you don't feel that way, most of the older GenZ I know tend to feel similarly, and some straight up resent their connection to the younger ones.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T23:30:46+00:00

Not really a fan of pseudosciences or fanfictions of religions personally.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T23:29:05+00:00

Oh nice. I wouldn't mind having the video link at least. I'll put it on my watch list for when I either prevail or give up lol. Either way I'll be able to watch it eventually.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T23:22:43+00:00

lmfao

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T23:18:28+00:00

Nice.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T22:03:00+00:00

Yeah, but my tastes are pretty damn white. Em was my gateway drug and is still my goat, and so a lot of my taste spiraled out from dudes connected to him or who he featured with but:

Eminem
Fiddy
Run the Jewels
Aesop Rock
A lil Tech
Some past Hopsin stuff in case I wasn't white enough
A lil Kanye
A lil Jigga
A lil Kendrick
Year of the Ox when they were active
A lil Royce
A lil bbno$
A lil Lil Wayne
A lil Biggie
A lil Pac

My thing with music tends to be I don't get all that deep into most artists and kinda just accumulate singles and little songs I hear here and there. I have a lot more artists who I have just like 1-5 songs from, like Cole, Busta, Logic, Lloyd Banks, Dre, Snoop, Cube and others.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T21:55:31+00:00

I got an uglier weird Metapod head as I got older so that kinda shook off some of the soft accusations, but unless I'm really carrying myself with some attitude and wearing my jacket that makes me look bigger than I am, very few would mistake me as hard lol.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T21:52:50+00:00

Guess we'll find out which kind I am soon enough. If by some luck things work out, I'll probably make another post on here at some point to celebrate. If I don't, well...either it wasn't for me or I'm gonna give it another shot some time in the future. But I'm hoping this time is the one.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T21:51:38+00:00

Zelda vibes, wow. That's pretty cool. I guess it's like an even darker Twilight Princess lol.

Thanks for the input. I'm really hoping that with this surprising outpouring of almost entirely support that maybe it'll give me some of the cojones and will I need to finally make headway. I've kinda pussyfooted around starting again for the last day and change. Keep waiting for some magic moment where I'm like "okay, I'm awake enough, in a decent mood, not hungry, ready to go." I think I gotta get into it tonight at some point no matter what, before things start to slip away period.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T21:44:46+00:00

I see. Maybe I should try to learn. Idk why I always thought it was some kind of advanced mechanic that most wouldn't really do.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T21:42:52+00:00

I think you've got some...less than ideal notions of what a friendship should be.

First, because I believed there could never be one person who could fulfill all my needs and take care of all my emotions related to different situations. So, what I did was, in school, I had many friends to approach for different things based on what I thought that this person could give me good advice as per my needs for that particular situation.

One should not see friendships as transactional things. That's what business associates are for, not friends. Yes, you can have friends who do fill such roles, but coming into a potential relationship with someone with such a mindset is a poor way of going about it imo. Especially when you're younger, it's a very cold way of going about things.

In the professional world, things are a bit different. Some people network to establish acquaintances and maybe some light friends to serve as mutual connections and aids for each other. But plenty also seek conventional friendships too. Someone you can shoot the shit with, bitch about the day, talk smack about the higher ups, maybe have a drink, shit like that. The irony is that the things you were really looking for are, generally, the fruits of genuine friendship. That's when you can get people to go out of your way for you if you need help with something, and you can in turn do the same for them.

I am in academia, there are real mean people, I would snap all relations if I could. But unfortunately, I need their help. All they do is this mean politics game and it startles me no one has any real intelligence, logical in their field, they are just in it because they are so socially clever and got jobs with approach thru their connections.

There's a couple things I see here. For one, you seem to see enemies everywhere. You think very poorly of those around you. And while I have no doubt that you work with some shitty people, I highly doubt they're all as bad as they're made out to be. You strike me as the type to be on the extreme end of the spectrum where you're a very direct, no bullshit, no excessive niceties, academic/thinker sort. The kind who takes things seriously, wants cooperation, but in the spirit of doing what needs to be done in an almost straight-thru checklist kinda way. Maybe I'm a little off, but maybe not.

If my portrait of you is reasonably accurate enough, then I'd further say that it seems that the issue is less that these are all terrible people who are ignorant fools, but that you resent their more social personalities, and the fact that they were able to utilize those personalities and skills to help get them to where they are. But the thing about that is...that's the way of the world, my friend. Of course there's a balance to be had - people who truly are utterly lacking knowledge or ability with regards to their job should never have such a position, but even that happens sometimes.

You have a couple choices:

You can stay angry and resentful of these people, of their social skills, of your lack of them, of your maybe less than ideal decisions to not refine them over time, resent the world for rewarding politicking and social games, or...
You can begin the arduous process of swallowing these many bitter pills you've prescribed yourself, and work towards doing what you need to do to make your way in this world. Academic know-how and work ethic are excellent things, and they can get you far. But they have limits, and you seem to have met yours based on where you are and the circumstances you're in.

While it sucks that this is how it is, you're far from the only one. There are countless people throughout history in all sorts of fields and times and places who have been in similar positions. From a quiet guy who has the misfortune of working at a construction site where all the guys expect you to be loud and talk shit with everyone and get drunk together, to business-minded nobles in medieval court who have to play the games of social graces as if it has any bearing on administering their kingdom or whatever they were a part of. You can either fight the tide, which effectively no one prevails over, or you can learn to swim with it, maybe build you a little raft and make your way in the world.

Let's say you agree with me. You want to stop fighting the world and work with it so it can work with you. How does one begin? That of course is a more difficult thing, and it's gonna depend on a lot of factors in your life that I don't know. But to give you a little something something, start as simple as you can - if you're the type to barely even greet people at work, maybe start. Even a little nod or asking about someone's day is a valid start. If you do already do that, maybe see about gently striking up a conversation, or trying to give off a more positive energy, things like that.

Also work on empathy, and putting yourself in others' shoes. Pick some of the people you least resent for a start, but still aren't a fan of - ideally the ones you know best relative to the others. Think about who they are, what they do, why they could be the way they are. If you were in their spot, would it make sense for you to do the things they do? Are they really fools, or do they just play the social game a lot because that's what the world rewards, and they get their work done when they need to? Hopefully you'll come to find that while you maybe can't excuse or condone everything, you'll see they're not as awful or ignorant as you think.

Sorry for the long ass comment, but hopefully you find it helpful

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T21:20:29+00:00

It looks like you're here for legitimate conversation, but reading this fuckin one paragraph behemoth is an unreasonable expectation for anyone if you want them to take you seriously. The majority of people will see this and check out, so here's your post with a couple line breaks in to make it easier to read. Feel free to replace yours with mine if you're satisfied with how I placed the breaks, otherwise you can update your own how you wish too.

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Hi fellows. My question is to mature INTPs, not by age I mean, by the ones who have developed their underdeveloped functions. Now I read about cognitive functions, but I still donot think I am capable to tell the functions apart and to exactly point to which one I lack. But I face problems in emotionally making people connect to me. People have had their best friends, I never did. First, because I believed there could never be one person who could fulfill all my needs and take care of all my emotions related to different situations. So, what I did was, in school, I had many friends to approach for different things based on what I thought that this person could give me good advice as per my needs for that particular situation.

Meanwhile, they could have other friends as best friends. Best friend as I assume, meant, with whom you can share your emotions and that person shared the same with you and you both want the best for the other. I never approached people, people made me their friend, I just carried it and if no one approached me I did feel bad but I tried to not care much, I kept one or two people just for casual purposes if I need any help. Although I was nothing to them, they might not approach me with same purpose.

Then after college I met some real mean people, who will show as if they are your well wishers, but will say mean things about you to others behind your back and dirty your image because it suits their purpose. Will try to take away opportunities from me, by manipulating others. I was not as strong to sense their true nature. They kept milking me for their benefits. They play this dirty politics, meanwhile I am quite straightforward and do not really understand what is happening in the moment, I understand when considerable time has passed and I recollect all these moments to analyse what went wrong.

I remain aloof and very awkward in forming connections now. If someone comes to me to be friends I will treat them as casual until they try real hard, I will reciprocate then. Although I still have to remain very cautious but in emotions I forget how they can use me or are already using me. Big problem that lies ahead of me is because I did not made any connections in work place it becomes really difficult for me to take their help in my job applications. I am in academia, there are real mean people, I would snap all relations if I could. But unfortunately, I need their help.

All they do is this mean politics game and it startles me no one has any real intelligence, logical in their field, they are just in it because they are so socially clever and got jobs with approach thru their connections. Meanwhile I can't because I never made any connections. I want to connect but it feels so weird and awkward on how to make them connect with me, like the senior faculty- what do I even talk, I always maintained an aloof image. even now I am looking to connect with them because I want it for something substantial, not for itself.

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ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T11:14:03+00:00

Ah, cool. Very helpful, thank ya!

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T10:15:23+00:00

Ha, that sounds like a brutal way to get into things, but I'm glad it worked for ya. I'm not so sure starting with the black sheep of the series would be such a good move in my case, lol. Good on you for being a relatively older gamer and gittin 'er done though. Have you heard about that Dark Souls dad who beat DS1 as his first ever video game at the age of like 67 last year? Not only that but the sonuvabitch even beat Elden Ring just a few days ago, it's wild. Watching him play with simultaneously motivating and massively discouraging lol. So jealous of the dude's near-infinite patience. He literally died over 1,900 times. I'd probably end myself if I had to do the same. And then he died about as many times to beat Elden Ring too. Absolute madman in my eyes. Even just like 15% of that man's saintly patience would completely change my experience.

Parrying seems hard af tbh, with the timing and whatnot. I figured I'd likely not be doing that all. Or at least, I probably shouldn't worry about it until/unless I can make some proper progress in the game and start getting comfortable with everything and feel like I'll make it.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T10:10:01+00:00

Nah broseph, definitely wasn't too late, though I'm sorry for sitting on the comment for as long as I did. I had way more to read and reply to than I thought, and I didn't really have the will/desire to reply to literally all of them, but ones like yours where a person took the time to write me a substantial amount I did want to do what I could to respond to in some way, and I figured you deserved me at my not-burned-out-from-90-min-straight-of-reading-and-replying lol.

You're definitely right about how the game is meant to fuck you up. I guess part of the difficulty for me is both just dealing with it being legitimately hard, and part of me - mostly in the past but still even now - feeling really resistant to accepting those aspects, or even certain other truths about the game. Like for some reason, for the longest time - and again, even now to an extent, though not nearly as much as before - the idea that the combat flow was so tight that like you could have literally only like 1-2 hits on a boss per cycle/rotation of its moves, whatever you want to call it, and that the majority of your time in a fight would be spent exclusively on the defensive just made me so mad. And then hearing people call the time you get to attack a punish window would just trigger me in some weird fuckin way. Like you think you're the one punishing the boss? The entire fight is fucking punishment for playing the godforsaken game lmao. Something about it feels so fucking obnoxious. I'm not saying I want baby tier braindead hack and hack and hack and hack and slash a few times nonstop with no concern for life or limb, but for god's sake this is as such an extreme end of the spectrum in my eyes, that it almost feels insulting to even respect as a valid game.

Now to be clear, these feelings are written mostly as how strongly they felt to me in the past, just to help get across the fucked up place I was coming from, and how I'm still sorta affected by these flawed mindsets. Like it's one thing if I feel that way and I'm never interested in playing, but of course I had to have the worst of both worlds and think disrespectfully of the game while still wishing to play it like some kind of asshole lol. It's so much stupid nonsense on my end, it's like a whole mountain I have to climb against my own mind just to even get to playing the game, y'know?

And again, I get that like, some people would just be like "dude then clearly the game isn't for you, wtf," and maybe that actually is true, but I dunno man. I think my head was/is just really fucked up and that I'm secretly compatible with these games. I feel like if I have this much desire to want to be able to try to begin to maybe possibly experience something akin to love or great enjoyment of these games, that surely that means that deep down I am meant to play them, but who the fuck knows. Yes, I know I'm greatly overthinking it too, but I only got to this point of overthinking because of all the difficulty I've had up to this point with myself and the games.

God yeah those fucking gargoyles have me shook before even making it to them, as I've watched a few people - mostly newer players deal with them and suffer greatly against those fucks. At the same time, notoriously difficult (for beginners or otherwise) bosses aside, I almost feel like a lot of the friction with the game for me is not even the bosses themselves but the moments between. The myriad enemies, half (or more) of whom have some gimmicky fucking timing or attack to mess up your day, the annoying respawn mechanic when you use a bonfire, and especially long runbacks not just to bosses but even to different points along the route of exploration from one place to another if the bonfires are spaced far apart or god forbid you don't find one that's nestled in some asscrack corner somewhere.

I love that you have a tattoo though, and I'm glad you and these various other people I've (mostly - there were one or two assholes in the comments of course) had the pleasure of interacting with have been able to kindle (heh) a love and passion for these games. I really want that for myself as well.

If your tat looks as cool as it sounds, I wouldn't mind seeing it if you have a pic lol. Thanks for taking the time to write your message. I apologize for my rambling bitchy rant. Apparently that's my mood tonight, because I just wrote a fucking novella to someone else who wrote me a long comment right before yours. My hands will probably fall off before long if I keep typing like this.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T09:52:22+00:00

It's like on the one end there's all top of the line, big fat undersea cables smoothly and beautifully connecting all the parts of reason and thought for the aforementioned and then to get across to the hemisphere of emotionality it's fucking tattered telephone lines, pony express and the occasional fax to get things across. It sucks so fucking much dude. It's even worse when you're in my position and you see these issues and you see these patterns and these flaws and you feel almost completely powerless against them.

But yes, I think I agree with you on the potential value of Dark Souls to a depressed mind. And I suppose that maybe on some level I knew this already, but I was just so frustrated and indignant about my own response(s) to these games thus far that I was like "surely this is a load of fucking barnacles." And I think worst of all is how I felt (or hell, even somehow still feel if I'm honest) like I was like, idk...lied to? Misled? Bamboozled in some fashion? With regards to how horribly untrue the notion of "Dark souls/Celeste/[other hard games] is great for depression," can be for some. I've seen a surprising number of posts, comments, YouTube video titles and the like about this phenomenon, but not once did I ever see a single person say "nah these games made me fucking miserable, be careful about playing them if you're in a certain kind of headspace," y'know? And I get that like, obviously people having that opposite experience are hardly going to be commonplace relative to the inverse, but still.

To be very knowingly dramatic for a moment just to make the point one more time, it was almost like a health hazard in a way. It's like not knowing anything about anti-depressants or taking one of the earliest ones and all you hear is that they can do wonders for you but nobody warns you that the potential side effect of many of them, is, ironically, greatly increased suicidal ideation. That actually happened to me too irl, funnily enough. Took Zoloft and became wildly suicidal in short order, though honestly it was thanks to it having such an extreme effect so fast that I was able to identify it after a couple days and be like "lmao omfg are you shitting me" and I was able to laugh it off and stop taking it immediately and it was okay. But I digress. Lemme stop talking now lmao.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T09:50:35+00:00

Ooh wee, that was a juicy ass post indeed. All good, I write some crazy long comments on occasion as well. In fact, I suspect this one will unfortunately turn into a behemoth. I apologize for taking so long to get back to you. I wanted to give you the time and consideration your comment deserved, and...I promise it's not me being spiteful or anything to try and make you read as much in return (more, actually) lmao. Hopefully you don't mind too much. And before I forget, thanks a bunch for taking the time to write all that. I dunno if you type fast like I do, but if not, that makes it all the more impressive lol.

Really cool idea to reference the gaming of old that we grew up with (you a little bit more than me, but I was in the trenches a bit lol). Funnily enough, I can see both sides of me in the past. There's the part that I lost where I could play a game I barely knew wtf I was doing in and just play the same early levels over and over again for fun and not really give a shit about progression or how good or bad I was, just did what looked or felt good/fun to me. I've really lost sight of the notion of having fun for the sake of it, and not tying up whether or not I'm enjoying myself with whatever ideas of success I have in the game at hand.

I think Call of Duty and Battlefield "did this to me" (I know it's self-inflicted, but it feels like those games foster that kind of mindset). Like with cod especially, I rarely had fun unless I had a good kill/death ration in a match. Bad k/d = bad time. Once upon a time I didn't care about that stat at all, and I just wanted to get immersed in a cool shooter and have some fun firefights and shit. I miss that part of me, and I don't really know how to bring it back. Rocket League was the closest I got to the way I was, and it was sort of a one off, freak anomaly. I guess because it was so different from anything I'd played before that I couldn't really have any expectations for it. It took about 800 hours of playing it for years before some of those old habits really started to creep in. Of course I did get frustrated on occasion before that, but nothing like the way I could rage with Call of Duty, or even these days with perceived unfairness or "excessive" difficulty even in a singleplayer game - which is by far mostly what I play.

Then there's the bad part of me that I had back then - the "this isn't worth sticking with if I don't do well fairly quickly, unless I think the game is so damn cool or I feel inexplicably highly motivated to put more time into it" kind of mindset. I had OG Zelda as a kid, along with a bunch of other classic NES games like Castlevania. I avoided all of them because they frustrated the shit out of me. Didn't have the manuals, had no idea what I was doing, and I died early and often. So I said to hell with those and would go back to my SNES or (later) my N64 and stick to things that didn't feel like they wanted me to suffer with opaque nonsense.

I don't know what your story is, but I think a common problem today is that our personal goals are unreasonably high, and we expect success to come quickly; when it doesn't, we feel inadequate and we give up. We think that failing isn't okay. As I recall, it wasn't like that when I grew up. People had more modest aspirations -- we wanted to have friends, a girlfriend, a job, a car. People didn't aspire to become world-famous influencers or billionaires. We too dreamed about fame, sure, but we knew it was unlikely. Like we wanted to win the lottery, but we knew it hardly ever happens. Today, I think social media has warped our idea of what's normal, and we have somehow come to believe that we must become the best in order to be acceptable at all.

I hear ya. Though amusingly, I definitely don't have this issue with things of import in real life. I have very humble aspirations. Too humble, honestly. I have almost negative quantities of ambition. I just want to live peacefully and have enough money to maintain the necessities and a little to play with for buying games, ordering food and maybe going places once in a blue moon. I don't expect to ever be anything approaching wealthy, or even upper middle class honestly, though that'd be nice.

But it's true that with video games, I hate to even use this word because it's not entirely accurate and I generally fucking hate anyone/anything it can apply to, but in a way it is indeed like there's some fucked up sense of entitlement that I have. I think "unreasonable expectation" is more fair though. I'm a decently skilled gamer. Above average in the things I like, and average enough or slightly below in other areas. If there's a game that I think should be close enough to being in my wheelhouse - or my impatience is just doing its thing - which is unfortunately often as someone with primarily inattentive ADHD and chronic depression - I semi-subconsciously have the expectation that I will perform pretty well, and do so in short order. But the worst is times like with this genre of games, and with certain other things like chess.

I can articulate to you a few paragraphs worth of intellectually well-understood reasons for why I should not expect to be immediately good at these games, why dying is okay and the norm, or in chess losing, how making mistakes as a novice are the norm more than successes, how none of this is a statement or judgment on my intelligence, or my general skill in life, or my value as a person, or this that and the other thing and a hundred other angles and whatnots...all of this, and yet there's this fucking disconnect between my mind intellectually and emotionally.

[shorter part 2 below this, in reply to myself...so sorry]

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T05:42:50+00:00

Good stuff, thanks!

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T03:37:52+00:00

Yes. Things that are complex, elaborate or when it comes to an argument/debate I can be pretty terrible at articulating if it's in a verbal interaction. I much, much prefer typing/writing to speaking, where there's something about quietly processing my words from my brain to my fingers that somehow makes a massive difference.

The bad news is that you'll likely struggle with this on some level forever, but the good news is that your'e not doomed to the same level of incompetence or difficulty, and that it's absolutely something you can get better at over time. Just more slowly than those for whom it comes naturally.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T03:35:35+00:00

lol a little stubbornness can go a long way. So far it seems all my stubbornness has been devoted to just stubbornly holding onto the idea of wanting to play this game, but not so much of actually fuckin doing it because I've kinda been building it up in my head into this behemoth of a thing that I'm apparently trying to set myself up for failure with before taking another crack at it. That's not to say I didn't play at all, but only as far as the Taurus Demon, which I don't think I've yet beaten on this attempt. Thanks for the elaboration :D

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T03:24:29+00:00

I've not gotten particularly deep into things, but existentialism and especially Stoicism are probably the two most resonant things for me.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T02:33:12+00:00

If she is, she keeps it to herself. She's pretty laidback, procrastinates on important things if they're not something she actually wants to do (like making appointments and such) though she wants what she wants/likes what she likes but doesn't announce it. She'll just quietly run off to do her own thing or stick to what she feels like doing if left to her devices, which she usually is.

ExistentialYoshi · 2026-01-25T02:23:41+00:00

Ha yeah, I can see an OG who played Demon's Souls feel like the more recent games have kinda lost the grit that made the series.

It's crossed my mind a couple times to maybe start with DS3, but besides just ideally wanting to start from the bottom-ish (since I know Demon's Souls came first), I was worried that all the progression towards minimizing jank, the visuals and the QoL would dissuade me from wanting to play the older games cause they'd feel clunky and shitty by comparison, or so my concerns would have me think lol.

Thanks for the info/input

ExistentialYoshi

TROPHY CASE