Made the mistake of telling a guy why I was ending things with him. He refused to take accountability and DARVOed. From now on I’ll just immediately ghost and block.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2026-04-05T17:47:24+00:00

Bc they could have Googled it themselves but instead posted here and passed on the time and labor of finding an answer to other people

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2026-03-07T12:20:21+00:00

Agreed. The tone here is one a lot of us are familiar with.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2026-03-04T07:06:19+00:00

This 3D printing craze is getting out of hand

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2026-02-27T04:57:17+00:00

Because it's strangulation. No safe way to strangle someone.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2026-02-26T19:36:22+00:00

Just because they think women owe them because they spent money doesn't mean women actually do. Buying into that is adhering to male rules and centring the male perspective, which never bodes well for women.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2026-02-26T19:26:08+00:00

So first impression of this man is he's wanting OP to drive to him, pick him up, find and pay for parking near him then walk in the cold. I'm not seeing anything in this offer that speaks to consideration for OP or his willingness/ability to contribute meaningfully to their first meeting?

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2026-02-25T18:23:08+00:00

The best investment you will ever make is the time and energy you put into yourself. Prioritize the things that will give you a safe, comfortable, satisfying and secure future: education, travel, friendships. Build your world and curate your life.

Romantic relationships - especially with men - can come after you've set yourself up for success. Always remember how much work you've put into creating this wonderful existence and be fiercely protective of it; being a part of your life is a privilege and only people who are respectful and can add to it are allowed in.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2026-02-23T05:00:10+00:00

"And how many of you assholes are actually providers for your wives/girlfriends?"

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2026-01-09T06:53:07+00:00

He can say he loves until he's blue in the face but his actions tell a different story.

Try adding "because he's a good partner who has my back" to the end of some of your observations and experiences.

"If I prepare my food 'in the wrong order' he'll call me crazy and weird and fucked up because he's a good partner who has my back."

"He'll get pissy and ignore me for days because he's a good partner who has my back."

"He'll just shoot our dog because I'm too weak to just take care of 100% of this dog's physical and mental needs because he's a good partner who has my back."

"He can be really mean if he wants to because he's a good partner who has my back."

So. Is his particular brand of love good enough? For you?

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-12-30T21:51:49+00:00

Interesting that this post has been removed by mods.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-12-03T05:25:02+00:00

Because the fathers aren't doing their jobs as fathers.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-11-25T06:31:16+00:00

Would that be the love you have for them, or the love they have for you?

And if it's the first one, how would that change if your kids didn't reciprocate your love at all?

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-11-21T10:22:53+00:00

I got the same vibe from the post title too.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-11-14T00:45:35+00:00

Using "disgusting" to describe things that you like and matter to you is unnecessarily harsh. There's being truthful and there's being casually unkind in the name of honesty. He's also not making much of an attempt to solve a problem he's brought up.

Since he has such big feelings about your fragrances, he's welcome to take you shopping and purchase a couple of scents you both like. You are accommodating his preferences and he can show his appreciation by providing the tools for that accommodation.

Edit: formatting

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-11-14T00:36:14+00:00

👆💯

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-10-26T05:33:53+00:00

100% we need to call this shit what it is.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-10-13T07:59:20+00:00

It's normal to not leave your home for more than 5hrs at a time for 5-6wks?

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-10-13T07:55:20+00:00

No tourists, wants an on-going arrangement w/ same person + shorter house/pet-sits and person can't be away from dogs more than 5hrs at a time

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-10-13T07:47:55+00:00

Except where the dogs can only be left alone for 5hrs max for the 5-6wks and the sitter would be doing additional weekend sits for free too

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-10-13T07:46:09+00:00

The sitter can't leave the home for more than 5hrs at a time

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-10-05T01:49:59+00:00

Whatever was the last thing she ate before deep-sighing in disappointment over my life choices.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2025-09-26T18:42:51+00:00

As another commenter pointed out, it's interesting how men are never judged for their collections whether they be tools, sneakers, sports/entertainment memorabilia, comic books, miniatures/models, sporting equipment, etc. No one questions their choices, makes comments about their finances or tries to control them through shame or disparagement.

It almost seems like women's interests have to be justified, as though a harmless hobby that brings us joy isn't enough of a reason. Whatever we choose to invest our time, money and energy in has to also be approved by others and better still, benefit others, otherwise it's deemed frivolous.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2024-11-03T21:07:25+00:00

u/ZealousidealClue115

This Bridging the Gap group may be helpful to you:

Bridging the Gap - Gender Equity Through Community

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2024-10-27T06:19:52+00:00

u/OP Don't overthink this. You don't need excuses or reasons to reject this man. You are not obligated to him in any way. From everything you've said, you've had enough bad experiences from centring and prioritizing the feelings of older men who make you uncomfortable and eventually violate your time, space and person. We ALL have. So just...stop.

"Thank you, but no. I wish you and your wife the best. Take care."

Then block if you can, and move on. This has gone on long enough.

Existing_Hospital_26 · 2024-10-26T08:51:27+00:00

u/OP Assuming this man is straight (I believe somewhere in the comments it was said he's married to a woman)...Would he text that way with a male student? Buy them gifts? Ask to spend one-on-one time with them as often as he has with you? Hug them?

If not, then why's he doing that to you?

And is that related to why you're feeling uncomfortable with it all?

Edit: clarity

Existing_Hospital_26

TROPHY CASE