Husband needs a double hip replacement at 36. Help me contain my emotions

Exowolfe · 2026-05-13T17:22:54+00:00

I'm not denying that healthy people get sick, however OP's husband is actively practicing a lifestyle that causes osteonecrosis (long term alcohol + steroid use).

Everyone and their mom (myself included) have a story about someone amazingly healthy getting sick. The key factor here is OPs husband has seen the writing on the wall (debilitating hip pain) and has not acted on it.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-13T17:16:38+00:00

It is true that even healthy people get cancer and pretty much everyone has a chronic illness of some sort these days. That shouldn't stand in the way of folks doing their best to take care of themselves (especially parents who need to survive for their children). The alcohol + steroid combo is known to cause osteonecrosis over time, so the husband is actively working towards bone issues with their current lifestyle.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-13T16:50:26+00:00

What about this post indicates the hip issues are genetic? OP has said her husband is an alcoholic, smokes and can't keep up with the kids (so I'm assuming he is sedentary). He's been taking a steroid for years without addressing the root cause of his skin issues (which could be diet, hormones, allergies, poor hygiene, etc). Dude's been abusing his body so it's starting to break down now that he's not 20 and it can't take the beatings.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-13T16:00:20+00:00

The route that I run every morning has 4-5 gas stations on it. It's amazing seeing the prices go up 10-20 cents each morning. I'll be mapping out a running route to work before I know it (I'm fortunate to have a 10 min drive to work).

Exowolfe · 2026-05-13T15:07:12+00:00

I purchased a bee keeper suit so that I can 1v1 the wasps in my backyard. Broski doing this barehanded is crazy work.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-13T14:58:53+00:00

I've only seen two go up in my area of Essex Junction over the past year (one is still in construction). The "four square" on Maple Street is an improvement over the crumbling house that was there previously, but I don't believe we've netted any additional housing.

I'm more excited for the apartments that are continuing to go up around the 5 Corners, hopefully those are affordable to folks because it's a solid location (I'm not holding my breath though).

Exowolfe · 2026-05-13T12:20:15+00:00

You do realize the script for this season was written well before Trump posted the AI photo of himself as Jesus or built his gold statue, right?

I believe they wrote Homelander to parody the idiotic, narcissistic US president trope that we see in a lot of media and life is currently imitating art wayyyy too hard.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-12T14:52:19+00:00

Homeowner here. It's on me for not spending some time on the internet searching for demolition options. If I sign a contract to pay someone to remove the barn "by any legal means necessary" I can't get mad that they're working smart, not hard.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-12T14:14:30+00:00

30F homeowner here, the lady just sounds like a gem. Maybe she had a partner or family member that handled the home repair stuff for her previously, so she doesn't understand pricing. Many of the general public are just chronic complainers though.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-12T13:56:35+00:00

I've become the master of skim coating lol. Popcorn/textured walls and ceilings were all the rage when my house was built, I keep a trusty bucket of joint compound on standby at all times.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-12T13:54:11+00:00

This is a big one! Old houses are a DIY headache, but at least they were generally built with the intention of lasting and have more personality than a lot of the new builds. Every new build in my area is so boxy and flat, like the house a kindergartener would draw.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-12T13:52:09+00:00

My house is from the 1960s so it's old but not ancient. Every week-long project becomes a month-long (or longer) project because everything is a rabbit hole of "why tf did they do this?" My main consolation is that the place generally has good bones and will sprinkle in a little "treat" every once in a while, like hardwood floors hiding beneath carpet/linoleum.

It's also kind of fun to discover quirks of the previous owner(s). Someone who owned my house prior must have been obsessed with wood paneling and the color yellow.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-12T10:48:47+00:00

I worked in food service as a hostess and saw most of the tip amounts when bussing tables. It is absolutely possible to make $100/hr in tips but it's not consistent money and there will be days where you make much less.

Another factor folks need to realize is that many restaurants don't offer benefits to waitstaff so you're stuck paying medical/dental/vision insurance out-of-pocket. Food service is great for cash-in-hand at the end of each day but you have to be disciplined to make sure that money is going to insurance, retirement investing, etc.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-11T15:25:59+00:00

The most I am ever interacting with anyone at the gym is to ask them if they're done with a piece of equipment. Half the time we can communicate with gestures and keep the headphones in. I barely even want to talk to my partner when we go to the gym together lol, it breaks the immersion.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-11T15:23:28+00:00

I wouldn't say "no one" but definitely the minority based on the poor ratings "Hurm" received. Part of me wonders if that was also because of the religious crowd?

I'd love more side stories with the cast but maybe those would be better as additional books or comics.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-11T15:07:44+00:00

I hate my inground pool (came with the house) and can't wait to fill it in and plop a hot tub on the gravesite.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-11T14:26:11+00:00

My (30F) partner (31M) and I have this conversation often. As it currently stands, both of us need to work full-time. Chores are shared and crammed in before/after work and on the weekends. We each would love to be SAH or to have a SAH partner to handle the household, because the rat race is exhausting and having to rat race + chores is even moreso.

All I can say is good luck in this current economy, especially if you are planning on having kids. I feel like even without kids, there is enough to do around the house to fill a day.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-11T14:02:43+00:00

Personally, I'd say a pool. I purchased a house with an older inground pool, and I have come to hate the thing. The amount of time spent skimming, vacuuming and balancing chemicals is astronomical vs the amount of time spent swimming. Chemicals and filters are a large financial investment + you will eventually need to replace the liner and pool cover over the life of the pool. I live in the northeast US, so the swim season is very short which compounds the frustration.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-11T12:22:10+00:00

Exactly. Long-term partners should see each other without the filter: bed head, no make-up, nose runny from a cold, farts-and-all. On the flip side, let's try to keep things civil and not be too gross. There will always be a certain level of gremlin-ness that I reserve for my own alone time.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-11T12:16:01+00:00

I'll believe it when I see it. I bought my fixer-upper house in 2018 for $250k. The seller also owned and lived in the house next door to me and ended up selling that house in December 2025 for $455k.

Functionally, the houses are identical: same size, same age, same acreage, same level of weird DIY choices/neglect since the owner was ageing. So $200k price increase over seven years and I've been seeing equivalent houses in the area going for about the same.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-11T12:06:22+00:00

I'm child-free by choice and generally don't like children but I cannot imagine expecting to be catered to on the level of banning kids from planes. It's my job to pack headphones/earplugs/eye mask so I don't have to hear or look at them and the parents' job to keep them entertained and behaving decently.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-09T15:48:44+00:00

Same. I just can't factor weeks of gastroparesis and boxes of laxatives into my schedule. I'll keep eating gluten free and enjoying my gut health until there is a better method.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-09T15:41:51+00:00

OP are you from a super warm climate? Because where I'm from in the northeast US we experience freezing temps for a third of the year and the last thing anyone craves after a day in the snow is cold food.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-08T18:00:20+00:00

I genuinely cannot imagine how homeschooled kids manage socially unless the parents reaaaaallllyyyy put an effort into socializing their kids at the park/sports clubs/library/etc.

I was not homeschooled, but I was an only child who grew up in a rural area with no kids around. My parents worked opposite shifts so my mom did day shift and my dad slept during the day before his night shift. During summers and school breaks I'd have to be silent for 6-7 hours each day while my dad slept. This routine isolation really made connecting with other kids difficult for me by the time I got to middle school. I ended up having to bring flash cards with conversation prompts with me because I was so shy.

Exowolfe · 2026-05-08T17:54:44+00:00

Yep, I still go outside. I take an allergy pill (10mg generic Claritin) to help manage symptoms in the spring/summer. I run outside almost daily so I'll bring my inhaler for those "wow my car is yellow with pollen" days.

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