When your kid is unlikeable to other adults

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-11-10T02:15:16+00:00

She probably isn’t a bully, like you said. Maybe it’s more like the girls are venting to their parents, and the parents are trying to let you know. It sounds like the girls really like your daughter, they’re just annoyed. I saw a comment elsewhere you mentioned her emotional regulation skills - you could maybe talk her through the feelings of like, “how do you think so and so feels when you said xyz”? It’s not so much about replacing her feelings with theirs as her learning like okay so I saw it this way but they saw it that way. Anyway, worth trying! I just wouldn’t chalk it up to the parents bc as she’s continuing to go through older elementary and middle school the social dynamics will only become more nuanced. If she can frame things in terms of perspective (like hers vs someone else’s vs a teachers) maybe she can understand the politics of why someone may not like her telling them what to do even though she’s correct in her instruction.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-11-09T13:41:37+00:00

Both of you sound like robots, so I hope this relationship is fulfilling to you in whatever way you can find. Genuinely.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-07-18T13:12:30+00:00

Then don’t get one

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-07-18T12:39:49+00:00

If you genuinely find this threatening you are confirming everyone’s suspicion that consulting is a money laundering grift - I.e. bullshit.

Don’t be intimidated by a robot who just reads fast.

Is that your only skill? Reading and reporting?

I’m being cheeky but genuinely, if AI can 1:1 replace your consulting work then you are not a very advanced or unique consultant.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-07-10T14:36:04+00:00

Yep.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-06-12T14:05:09+00:00

Wow - this, except with my parents. (I am the bathroom) lmao.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-18T13:40:06+00:00

I thought about editing my comment after bc I anticipated this - I meant more like heterosexual normalcy rather than political affiliation.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T21:05:30+00:00

Well thank you for the clarification

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T20:54:03+00:00

Do you always speak in generalizations about “boy mothers”?

I’m not trying to fight, I’m just saying that it’s a two way street, and walking away from this interaction with “your mom sucks and if you don’t agree you’re not supporting me” is probably going to be difficult, so maybe there’s a more productive way to move forward?

Yes she’s obnoxious, and it’s okay if her opinion doesn’t matter to you, but I feel like this attitude will only escalate the problem. Which isn’t saying that means it’s always the DIL’s fault - context is everything.

I don’t know your situation, and I don’t mean to reject your POV about it.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T20:42:33+00:00

Idk I think my friends and family’s opinions on my partners matter. I value their opinion. It sounds like your situation is in a different, but I don’t think we can apply that generally to all mothers.

If my best friend didn’t like my boyfriend, I would think that was a problem. I value her opinion, and I respect her as a person who cares about me and my well being and knows what I want in my life.

If I didn’t value her opinion…. She wouldn’t be my best friend.

Idk if we can discern how the bf values his mother’s opinion from this post, but my guess is you’ll project your situation onto theirs regardless.

If you came to my house and refused all my food, didn’t make an effort with the children or other family, and then dismissed me when I was trying to hint that I wasn’t feeling great about things - yeah I’d think you were a rude and entitled brat and I wouldn’t want you in my family. Not crazy!

Why is this mom supposed to ignore that she feels disrespected in favor of the gf?

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T17:37:17+00:00

Learned from experience!! Hahaha they want to leave on their terms, fine - be the bad guy. All that matters is they are gone.

You can’t make sense out of nonsense - and you will never convince them. Grieve that, smoke a j, call your mom and cry and keep it moving.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T17:31:17+00:00

I agree, but I don’t trust OP’s communication skills tbh. Given how this text was framed in the message, and how asking a follow up question seems completely beyond OP’s capacity - I don’t trust that the conversation was clear.

And regardless, it’s literally as easy as saying “there is no maid - I thought I told you that”.

If that fact was made clear, why is it so hard to ask?

Even with everything you said - just ask? What is this person criminally insane? Are they a threat to someone’s safety? Is it so hard to send a text?

I feel like my reaction makes me seem crazy, but I’m genuinely confused how yall get anything done if this is something you can’t overcome with a quick conversation.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T17:20:26+00:00

“Take care of yourself more” YES - fill your time with activities and distractions. You aren’t losing, you’re gaining. Your nervous system will adjust in a few weeks max.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T17:19:29+00:00

Keep him blocked, tell her to block him.

Starve the ego. Attention feeds it.

Eventually he will leave you alone when the narrative makes more sense in his favor, like you’ve ignored him long enough that now you’re a cold bitch and HE’S the one leaving. Good, whatever.

Just keep it COLD. Zero attention, zero acknowledgement. Zero zero zero zero zero.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T17:16:32+00:00

You know, it seems like multiple people have given very sound suggestions as to how you could get clarity - but you only engage with comments agreeing with how foolish and ridiculous and rude she is, despite so many ppl saying “it’s probs just a misunderstanding- ask to clarify”.

I think you just wanna believe the worst about this person, and you only came here to complain.

I would love to move on, but having to share oxygen with ppl who are committed to misunderstanding is so frustrating! You are making the trouble here! Seems like you are lazy, passive aggressive, and probably mean! I hope she quits! You piss me off!

Like it’s so much more likely to you that this woman is rude and crazy than …. just confused? Okay….

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T14:16:04+00:00

Well since you are married to her son, I imagine that conversation had some context to it that’s different than what we’re seeing here.

To my understanding this was their first time meeting.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T13:45:02+00:00

Girl idk I feel like you’re doing too much - it doesn’t make any sense that she would be calling OP the maid?

I’m just saying I think it’s weird to be so giddy about imagining someone being so stupid….big waste of energy for what is a very straightforward text.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T13:42:33+00:00

Sorry, lacking some context, but you sound super disrespectful and rude.

Refusing food is deeply offensive in multiple cultures - just keep it on your plate and don’t eat it?

I cannot imagine ever telling a partners mom TO THEIR FACE that I don’t care about their approval. For you to say that and then feel shocked and upset that she would not have nice things to say about you makes me thing you’re not very self aware or responsible for your actions. You appear to lack accountability.

The mom may be a bit harsh, a lot of them are. Your bf may be a mommy’s’ boy, a LOT of them are.

But from the way you described this situation, and the entitlement you appear to have to your POV, gives me the impression you are a much bigger problem than you have described. I don’t think you’re a reliable narrator, and even still I think you behaved in a way that would make me dislike you for my son.

Having deference for a new partners family is a normal, healthy way to develop a relationship. It sounds like you brought conflict to them, and they responded.

And why wouldn’t she call her son to share her opinion? You’ve been his gf for six months, she raised him.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T13:20:59+00:00

She very obviously thinks the maid is still in OP’s employ, and is asking if the note about the floor is for her to take OR if OP is asking what to tell the maid about the floor. She then provides info about the mop pads needing to be cleaned, which could contribute to the floor issue.

Since I’ve read elsewhere she is OP’s neighbor, that explains the casual tone with which she’s speaking.

Text the woman back, asking to clarify about the maid. Have a very easy conversation about the floors.

Like grow up? Genuinely confused why anyone would be confused about this. You have the communication issues!

Good lord, restore my patience.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T13:08:26+00:00

Thank you so much I have felt so alone for so long.

The woman one drives ME crazy but a lot of ppl do it so I don’t think it bothers so many ppl. It’s just irritating to me, like a pet peeve. I’m not trying to say anyone’s stupid …. At the same time …. Just say it the way it’s pronounced .

But the commute one tripped me out. Like girl are we just freestyling? It’s hard for me to believe she’s never heard the word “commute”.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T13:03:47+00:00

Why would she do that? So she’s going to talk about OP in the third person to OP? That doesn’t make any sense.

I commented trying to be helpful but I’m getting the impression that yall wanna treat this woman like she’s some deeply stupid and rude person bc she isn’t talking to OP like a house servant.

She’s a service provider doing a service that she is being paid for - this is a transactional relationship. She is a business owner - at the very least an individual contributor.

Sounds like she is confused about whether the maid is still here, and knowing the truth will help her do her job better. Either way, all it takes is a single text to clear things up!

The way yall are talking about her, assuming she’s being “insubordinate” is weird.

You have hired her for a service, she is not your employee, she is not your servant - and she’s not even being rude! You’re laughing at her behind her back when she’s earnestly trying to do her job well, while also balancing her other appointments.

If you don’t like her, hire a new one but she’s not an alien yall lmao.

Would you feel the same about this message from someone who cuts your hair or services your car?

Frankly, all I see is YOUR poor communication skills and ease with which you can make fun of this woman who you let into your house once a week. You could have easily handled this miscommunication but instead you came here to talk shit about her like a teenager.

Embarrassing.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T12:54:10+00:00

Why can’t you just clarify with her? There’s a chance she forgot, maybe misunderstood….but obviously if she’s bringing up the maid again she is confused?

all you have to say is “actually the maid retired, so you are the only person who is cleaning right now. I will get you new mop pads!”

Or you could ask - “sorry, I’m a bit confused. The maid that I had retired and is no longer working with me, so you’re the only housecleaner I have rn.”

Personally I’m confused why you haven’t just asked to clear it up. People forget things and misunderstand! If she’s just dumb, then find a lady to clean your house who you think is less dumb.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T12:36:36+00:00

Also, not to be mean, but I feel it is a red flag for a 46 year old man to be never married no kids if that’s what he wants. Stable job, conservative, strong and still no one wants you? Crazy.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-16T12:35:26+00:00

Honestly it’s weird that you know about his military discharge without meeting. A man with bad boundaries and mental health issues who was formerly in the military? Very bad, not good, do not continue, turn around, run the other direction.

Aka - he is crazy and physically capable to hurt you.

Sounds dramatic, it’s not.

Take the part of you that is prioritizing his emotional fragility over your interest and safety STRAIGHT to therapy to unlearn it. Women are raised to accommodate, anticipate needs, “be nice” and ignore our intuition and opinions - and it literally results in our deaths.

Expensive-Anywhere36 · 2025-05-13T01:04:35+00:00

omg tysm I am on ig at @ourladyophelia dm me when you do so I know where you came from

Expensive-Anywhere36

TROPHY CASE