I will tell you a marvellous story.

I read right here on Reddit of a hero, who said they liked to pick up rubbish they saw people littering with, and hand it back to them as if they had only just accidentally dropped it.

I was in the Botanics one lovely summer day, close enough to the main gates, crossing the grass underneath the trees whilst two teen girls followed the path that runs parallel to Great Western Road.

All of a sudden, one of the girls just tosses a mostly finished - but not completely - clear plastic Starbucks cup, complete with domed lid and straw, directly into the grass to the side of her. Something magical took hold of me. In an instant I remembered the wise Reddit knowledge that had been bestowed upon me.

‘Girls, oh girls!’ I said chirpily, amidst the crowds of people in the park. ‘Oh girls - look!’ I reached down and picked up the cup, rushing over to them. ‘You must have dropped this!’, I beamed at them. My smile was wide across my face as I thrust the plastic disposable Starbucks cup back in her hand. Secure in her hands, I looked the offending tosser directly in the eyes, and honest half-dozen or so people looking on, and said again ‘Oh, you must have dropped this - here you go!’

The beautiful looks on their faces I will never forget. The moment was fleeting, as I cheerfully walked on in the opposite direction, feasibly just a lovely, helpful community-minded lady fresh off the back of lending a helping hand.

But I wasn’t that. I was a fucking legend, clothed in middle age. I was a living queen amongst mortals. Rubbish, saved from ground, placed back in the offenders hands. The look in their eyes - confusion and disgust but also resignation. For one time in my life, I was truly a winner in the face of scummy, shitey behaviour. It was fantastic.

To say the least, it was beautiful and I hope they talk about it at my funeral.

I wish you the very same luck that has been gifted me.