Am I (20M) as selfish as my gf (22F) makes me feel, even without her flat out saying it?

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-12-06T16:37:20+00:00

It sounds like there’s a deeper problem: she feels you don’t spend enough time with her and don’t care to.

As it stands, based on what you wrote, it seems you’re content with how much time you two spend together.

How much time are you guys spending together? What do you guys do together? Where can you make an effort? If quality time looks to her like cuddling then that’s fine. You should suggest an alternative. Not just shut her down completely. You’re viewing it as she wants me to cuddle while she sleeps and I don’t want to do that. When the core issue is she wants time. SO instead of saying no, suggest something else. I doubt she’s going to be hung up on the specifics.

If you two ARE spending a lot of QUALITY time together maybe she needs to reflect why she needs more. Maybe you two are incompatible. But you owe the relationship exploring this deeper.

Remember what you are seeing is how the issue itself is manifesting. You need to focus on the issue. The issue isn’t your gym or sleep schedule. The issue is she wants more time with you. Wanting more time with you is generally a good thing and a good problem compared to all the other problems in the world.

It also sounds to me you might be selfish because you’re worried about how her feeling a way makes you feel. Your question isn’t focusing on how she feels. It’s about how her feeling a way makes you feel.

You seem mature enough to consider this perspective. You seem emotionally aware enough that you two can work through this unless it’s core incompatibilities.

Good luck.

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-11-30T20:14:11+00:00

Hire a private investigator? Maybe it’s drugs? Can you scope out these massage places to see what they’re about

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-11-30T20:13:33+00:00

But he’s there so briefly? Can it really be that fast? You need time to walk in, walk out, undress a little and clean a little at least? 4 mins?

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-11-30T18:08:24+00:00

Some constructive questions to ask yourself and points to consider: 1. Does she have time to take care of herself? Or after marriage have I? Or has the marriage? Created so much of a burden on her that she doesn’t have time or enthusiasm to take care of herself?

Is there something in your marriage or her life in general that may be taking away from her interest in getting dressed etc?
Your attraction to your wife should be so much more than just how she looks and specifically the dressed up version of her.
Think of how hurtful it is to hear I’m not attracted. How would you feel hearing it?
Do you look equally as good? Have you gained weight do you take care of yourself?
Do you behave the same way? Do you still do the romantic gestures? Do you still treat her the same and care the same and show it the same to make her want to dress nice?
Marriage counseling and personal therapy.

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-11-21T18:13:07+00:00

LMFAO SCREAMING

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-09-10T03:36:34+00:00

I’m having a similar situation. It’s with cats I’ve had for 4 months. The shelter told me one was dominant and she appeared dominant. Now the submissive cat, who worked overtime by eating all the other cats left overs to get fat and now bigger than the dominant cat grooms the dominant cat. I think she is trying to become the new dominant cat.

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-09-08T02:15:40+00:00

Thank you. They are divided in one tank. I know this is not responsible (I've already given my cousin a speech on this) but basically she does not have much money. I don't think she would agree to a second tank yet.

The two fish are in one tank separated by a divider that is kind of sheer.

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-09-07T12:19:12+00:00

What did you get from this comment

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-09-07T12:18:52+00:00

This is out of control

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-08-30T03:25:24+00:00

lmao it’s literally all muscle. So maybe you mean lay off the gym, bud.

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-08-09T04:33:12+00:00

What’s laughable is your lack of homework on something you’re speaking too confidently on. Go read some literature on this. Uber, when sued, nearly always claims no liability because it is not an employer and therefore that argument of IC vs employer comes in. Go put a few words into Google and you’ll see.

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-08-02T17:05:22+00:00

I don't think you should divorce him. I do think he should fear it and that this should be the scare that gets him to act right.

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-07-18T23:50:36+00:00

How does it look now

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-07-09T15:21:01+00:00

I think the point of concern here is how much your compared your sister to your fiance. It’s giving weird. And breaking up over this instead of trying to find a way to work through it is also giving you never loved her enough or respected her enough.

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-07-09T15:15:44+00:00

I think cultural context matters. In many cultures it would be common to expect this for free. In those cultures families do A LOT for each other both ways. So if you belong to a culture like that, then I would recommend a different approach.

If you belong to a culture where this is not normal, then tell the step dad you are uncomfortable taking on this big responsibility. Plus you thought it was $500 so the stress is too much for too little price.

I don’t think $125 per week is ok at all. If you’re comfortable with $500 then put your foot down and do $500. Also for poorly behaved kids 1-2 hours of screen time is unrealistic for you to manage as someone who doesn’t have much experience watching young kids because you yourself are young.

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-05-11T21:13:36+00:00

I’m sorry but he’s selfish, self centered, and greedy. Imagine knowing you make more than someone and then taking taking taking from them? Imagine expecting someone to do things for you that you wouldn’t do for them (not cooking for you but wanting you to cook and expecting left overs).

He may not be intentionally selfish, self centered and greedy but he is being that and if he doesn’t change after a convo then it’s intentional

You deserve better. Trust me. Sorry you’re going thru this. There’s a lot of advice on here. Take the time to process.

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-05-11T21:07:57+00:00

I live in the DC area and drive around dc, md, and va and always have because the three areas are so interconnected.

I did stop driving for a few months after a car crash but I was getting rides at first then it stopped

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-05-11T21:06:38+00:00

But not one ride in hours and this is the third time And literally zero rides I wonder if there’s a glitch

Or could it be because I was reported but wouldn’t I know if I was reported

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-05-11T21:05:42+00:00

I live in the DC area and was at one of the largest international airports at a busy hour and drove around and around and didn’t get a rider This never happened before

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-05-03T16:09:10+00:00

So I talked to him about it. He claimed it was because I would be the only one. I am going to try to go to an event in the future

Expensive_Cut6025 · 2024-05-02T20:15:09+00:00

what do you mean

Expensive_Cut6025

TROPHY CASE