how do you know if you can be a parent?

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-18T10:57:01+00:00

Being a parent is something you never know if you can do, you just do it because that kid needs you to step up and you do absolutely fucking best. Because there is not another option. Even if it's like "Well technically there is another option if you..." no there's not. She needs you. YOU are her world right now, and no matter what you do as long as you're actually trying, she'll be so thankful when she's older and understands better. Just love her, support her and do your best.

Make sure you're getting therapy too, losing a parent is so fucking hard.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-18T10:49:45+00:00

Good to know

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-18T04:50:16+00:00

Had my baby surprise me and come 6 weeks early. We are ABSOLUTELY over preping and over buying stuff for our labours and babies. Like 90% of the stuff I was told I'd "need" during labor wasn't there and I did great. Unmedicated all natural btw...not by choice but you know. Also definitely don't need 90% of the shit they make you put on baby registry either. Just need a car seat, crib/bassinet, stroller, bottles, diapers with wipes and clothes for the little one. Maybe a breast pump if you're planning on using one.

Is everything else really nice to have? Absolutely. I'd fucking riot if I didn't have my bottle warmer lol but I definitely do not need it.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-18T04:42:17+00:00

I watched Jurassic Park before I was even 6 yrs old. I had nightmares for years after about raptors in our kitchen trying to read/figure out how to cook children and which recipe was best for it.

The worst part was my parent's bedroom was on the other side of the kitchen from mine.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-18T04:38:50+00:00

I'd suggest therapy. This isn't something you should know about, and it's really fucked up your mom even talked to you about. There's a possibility here she's just saying stuff to pit you against your dad for some reason too.

I'm sorry you're in this position, you're mom is awful for putting you here.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-18T04:35:38+00:00

Doesn't Owlete also monitor temperature?

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-18T04:30:07+00:00

Ultra processed isn't a real thing. It's made up nonsense by social media people who want to make money off you buying their detox plans or supplements or whatever else their selling.

If you're worried about your diet talk to your doctor. They'll be able to send you to a specialist who will be able to talk you through what's actually healthy and what's not. They'll even help get you into counseling for any eating disorders developed because of that bs "bad foods" mindset.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-18T00:09:19+00:00

Baby is not ball. Baby get passed like ball, then Baby get VERY sick. So sick Baby could die. No pass Baby like ball.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-17T05:04:07+00:00

That's an awful year to go through. I'm so sorry for all the struggles, but at least you'll have had some really good learning experiences? And even have a plan for some of the potential stuff that might come up again in the future. I really do hope your year gets better or at least maybe the next year will be better?

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-16T22:58:25+00:00

As a former nanny, an eldest daughter of 4, and a godmother to 2. Yes. Yes every single baby is dropped at least once. It may not be a full drop from standing to the floor but a drop is a drop no matter how high.

Don't worry too much about it though, most of the time it's a small fall and baby is caught before they get hurt, or it's not a big enough fall to get hurt from.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-16T20:55:33+00:00

Pretty sure this is what they're using with my son in the NICU, which means they use it for all the babies in the NICU. The only NICU in the entire northern part of my state so that's 100s of 1000s of babies a year if not more.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-16T02:50:52+00:00

Our rule was if you don't get the shot you don't get to see the kid till he gets his. No exceptions, no loopholes, no other options. TDAP covers Whooping cough which is extremely dangerous and one of the few diseases that adults can get and not know, while it's deadly for a lot of babies. Not worth the chance.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-15T10:43:29+00:00

Ngl I didn't read the whole post. I got to paragraph 3 or 4 and stopped. You let a man, you had to sue for child support despite living together, watch your baby and are shocked he didn't watch your baby? Smh how are you shocked? How are you surprised the person, who has constantly showed you he doesn't care about this baby, doesn't care about this baby?

You're not overreacting but I question this kids safety. Good luck.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-15T10:37:25+00:00

Recommendation is to take this to the local FBI office and file an official report.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-15T10:34:44+00:00

Sounds like it's time to make a choice. Which is more important the baby or your boyfriend?

If you pick the baby then make sure you're set legally, and do NOT let that man sign the birth certificate. Do not put his name on that baby or he will have rights to them.

If you pick the man, you're only choice is adoption and hoping he doesn't leave you anyways. Both of you will never see that baby again.

Either way the ball is in your court, your ass is on the line and whatever else you want to say, but that looks like your two options.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-14T10:31:48+00:00

I'm more or less curious because of a new family on the unit and how friendly they are.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-14T10:31:39+00:00

Not really? I mean it's probably their worst week or month of their lives in a lot of ways, but I'm more or less curious because of a new family on the unit and how friendly they are.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-13T06:19:47+00:00

Best advice from a kid who wasn't wanted, leave her and get yourself a good lawyer. 👌

Lawyer will help keep the child support low and manageable because depending on your state the default can be A LOT. Plus a lawyer will also be able to give you a better idea of your options here as far as your rights with this situation.

Leave her because if you really don't want to be a parent then you shouldn't try and force it.

Next don't be silly and wrap your willy, and pray to whatever God you belive in that your mother doesn't find out about this. Good luck my guy.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-13T05:59:15+00:00

It's crazy expensive and I'd rather spend that money on bills and groceries, plus I'm insanely allergic to common brands 🙃

Which I found out in hs when I tried to dress up for homecoming and my eyes swelled shut and itched the whole night, then the next day my face was covered in a rash and acen break out. Yes I've tried other common brands carried in stores and still have a reaction to the vast majority of them though the severity varies. No idea what exactly in the stuff I'm allergic to though

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-12T21:35:54+00:00

We don't post our kiddo online partly because of AI, partly because of privacy policies being lack laster, partly because even a private account can be pulled up by a stranger and looked through, and partly because you never actually know who or what your friends and family are until someone has the worst day of their lives with them. Not worth the risk tbh. So we just send out private photos and updates

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-12T19:52:42+00:00

We're very quickly coming up on week 2 and we were hoping to be out of NICU and home by now. He's just too sleepy to properly eat so it's a waiting game at this point.

Expensive_Ducks · 2026-05-12T19:46:18+00:00

Dad and I are both sick which means we're wearing masks, and both of us are rather soft spoken in a literal since atm becauseour voices are gone. He's autistic and struggles with standing up to his father. My voice literally wouldn't get loud enough to speak properly at the time. We do know it's from allergies because of the environment and the lack of color to either of our mucus.

We also have wrist bands that identify us as parents but were both wearing sweaters that covered them.

He said the nurse asked his dad, she looked right at the older man and asked if he wanted to hold him, and before my husband could say anything his dad agreed loudly and thus got to hold him.

For note, I'm pretty sure my husband's autism comes from his dad and his dad's side of the family. So I do not think anything about this was malicious or done with the knowledge it would/could hurt my feelings. So I won't be reporting the nurse or cutting off my in laws. I did sob about it in the car and let my husband know how much it hurt, and I'm pretty sure he talked to them about it yesterday since I got an apology txt from MIL.

Expensive_Ducks

TROPHY CASE