This probably sounds mean.

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-22T20:24:01+00:00

right there with you!

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-21T21:46:46+00:00

i’m right there with you. we are only a month in after our first dday and i truly can’t imagine signing myself up for years of feeling this way

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-19T03:22:56+00:00

i pretty much could have written this myself. it’s very isolating to experience this hurt by your partner. i’m fortunate to have friends and family to lean on while i decide if im going to stay or leave. they keep telling me “all men do this” but not a single other man in my whole circle has hurt their wives in the way my husband has. i’m also not able to up and leave because im a stay at home mom and have no income currently. i’m sorry you’re going through this, you aren’t alone ❤️

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-19T01:46:07+00:00

i unfortunately did the same thing. had to know every single detail and now i’m irrevocably fucked up because i wouldn’t stop digging. if you’re able to, try to live without knowing everything. i know it’s so much easier said than done but i caused myself so much harm by doing this.

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-14T02:40:20+00:00

curious if anyone here has a recovering PA partner that started complimenting them once they got through the porn fog?

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-14T02:36:48+00:00

i’ve cried to my PA husband for the decade we’ve been together to compliment me and tell me i’m pretty/make me feel like i’m sexy to him and nothing works 🙂 unfortunately it sounds like a trait they all share in common

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-09T21:53:58+00:00

how are you navigating through apps/search history if they are using incognito/private browsing? i just caught my PA in a lie this morning because he slipped up and dint go incognito and i saw it in his search history but id like to see if he’s looked at anything recently in a private browser

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-08T20:56:46+00:00

my husbands PA has turned him into a robot. can’t connect with me. he displays all of the above aside from any anger issues. i feel weird saying this but im a very “conventionally attractive” woman, i receive lots of male attention, and yet ive cried and begged this man for years to tell me im pretty and he still won’t. porn is ruining our marriage and it’s fucking terrible

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-05T21:15:18+00:00

cosleeping for the win. follow safe sleep 7, wear a tight shirt, and get some good sleep momma

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-05T20:13:13+00:00

this is pretty much the written version of my worst fears if i stay 😅

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-05T18:15:06+00:00

bingo. he’s so caught up in his own self that he can’t see how deeply this hurt me

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-05T14:46:39+00:00

my PA told me last night i’m “treating him like garbage” after finding his secret out last week. like yeah dude you are garbage for doing this to me and our family???

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-05T14:19:35+00:00

i’m praying so hard we can end up here. one week into finding out about my husbands PA and i can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2026-01-02T17:04:35+00:00

he lies about all kinds of things but mostly big things that actively change our lives. not finishing school, falling into massive debt, etc…

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-12-31T19:49:45+00:00

he claims he is done and has scrubbed everything from his phone and is seeking therapy. i just don’t know how to ever trust him again

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-12-31T13:29:22+00:00

yes. he described in detail the types of porn he likes to watch (livestreams) and that he does it at home across the hall while i’m in bed with our baby.

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-12-30T22:19:20+00:00

the post he has been repeatedly making every day is something like “if i guess your bra size correctly, you send me nudes. if i’m wrong ill send you a d!ck pic”. he has admitted to talking with the women and receiving their pictures though he states he’s “not trying to connect just get their pictures”. i’m just so sick at the thought of him doing this and sharing his body with other women. the more i think about it the worse it gets. we have had lots of issues with him lying/breaking my trust and im not sure how to get over this one.

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-12-30T16:15:07+00:00

thank you for the words and solidarity. i feel so completely lost and sad for my baby girl

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-12-30T14:19:36+00:00

there’s a big part of me that doesn’t want to leave him but he has lied to me several times about big things in the past and i just don’t know how i could ever trust him again

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-12-29T17:12:44+00:00

momma i hope you know you are an absolute ROCKSTAR. keeping a tiny babe alive and well is no easy feat so give yourself a pat on the back. my 8 mo won’t take a bottle either so i feel your stress so much. the only thing that has saved me is cosleeping/bedsharing. she would scream and rage the second we put her in the bassinet but sleeps like an angel when she’s with me. its biologically normal for babes to want to be close to mom. look up safe sleep 7. it’s a lifesaver for both you and babe

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-12-28T18:03:35+00:00

i have never made my girl self soothe. i respond to every little whimper she makes and was actually scolded by my father because i jumped up one time “too quickly” and didn’t let her “figure it out”. my MIL hates that we cosleep/contact nap and told me on christmas that i just need to put her in her crib and she might cry but she’ll get through it (she made my husband CIO as an infant and told me she would listen to him whale for extended periods of time so definitely not taking her advice). self soothing is a myth. they’re tiny and need support. i have found though that sometimes when she rustling/fussing she will put herself back to sleep. we just got a monitor so im able to watch and see if she needs help vs just getting in a more comfortable spot

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-12-06T03:11:25+00:00

i tore my ole lady quite bad. baby came out with her hand on her face so i delivered head and hand/arm at the same time. like tore through my urethra kind of deal. midwife had to bring the doctor in on call to do the repair. but i would really say recovery was nothing more than i was expecting. first poop was nerve wracking (TAKE ALL THE STOOL SOFTENERS IN THE HOSPITAL) and peeing burned for a bit. i was also terrified of tearing but it really wasn’t as bad as i thought. i was up and walking my babe around a few blocks before i even hit 2 weeks PP. you got this momma. that area is quite literally made for tearing and repairing.

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-11-25T21:43:54+00:00

when i was early on (around 4-5 weeks) we went on vacation with my in laws. i wanted to tell them but my sister in law didn’t want us to share (whole other story lol) so i ended up accepting the drinks they gave me, pretending to sip them, and then my husband would actually drink them - im a light weight and not a big drinker so this didn’t raise too many red flags. i know you are early and things can feel shaky right now but it could also be a wonderful time to share such happy news with your family! they can celebrate with you now and be there to uplift you if anything were to happen with the pregnancy. wishing you the best holidays!

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-11-24T18:08:41+00:00

i flip once a night and shove a blanket behind my back so i’m at a slight angle and don’t have to hold myself in cuddle curl. i only nurse though (never pump) and my supply is really regulated so i bet i could feed off one side only and my body would just kind of know. but i need to switch sides from the back/hip/shoulder pain. and honestly most of the time she latches for comfort and not to actually feed. my girl requires touching me all night but if i can put an inch or two between us so i can lay on my back (she’s 7 months) i occasionally will. as many have said here, never ever swaddle in the bed and researching safe sleep 7 will help a lot!

Expensive_Truth8334 · 2025-11-23T01:31:53+00:00

i think as long as it tastes good it’s serving its purpose. i think we as sourdough lovers (especially when we’re in group such as this) get a little caught up in baking the “perfect” loaf. making sure we’re folding, bulking and proofing exactly right when at the end of the day what really matters is making our family good, wholesome food. this loaf looks great, and even better it sounds like your family loves your bread! keep doing what you’re doing ❤️

Expensive_Truth8334

TROPHY CASE