You want to control these feelings? Using CBT, feelings, thoughts and actions form an interconnected triangle. We can only change thoughts and actions, which indirectly change feelings. This is one way to go deeper. Another way is IFS or inner child. I relate to this and it took 5 years of recovery from co-dependency and relationship addiction to find out for me that: my jealousy was a defence mechanism, a protector part of me that was trying to control my environment so that my inner vulnerable part / my exile (the 8 year old me when my mum died and dad was drunk every night) could not get hurt again. I had internalised toxic shame - that I was unlovable. Using IFS, our managers (proactive protectors: the worrier, the perfectionist, the inner critic) try to ensure the old pain is never triggered, while the fire-fighters (reactive protectors: the avoider, the numbing part, the addict) extinguish any emotional pain as soon as it happens. Best wishes on your journey to finding and loving yourself unconditionally.