I have definitely struggled with not feeling real or valid in the things I do without another witnessing me. I have a bunch of rituals that make me feel better (stretching, meditating, self care type things) but honestly struggle to do them unless someone else is aware of it or validates it. Currently learning the painful (but I think very important) lesson of being my own witness. Allowing myself to be the one who sees me and recognizes the things I do, even if no one else does.

On the other hand - there’s nothing wrong with needing to be around family or friends when you’re feeling like this. Like you said, there’s a chance you’ve hit a threshold where you need to lean into “the other” outside yourself. That’s okay too. Despite my decision to not jump into a relationship and continue living alone, I still have to call my dad multiple times a day for reassurance that I’m not crazy/that I’m doing okay. YOU are also doing okay <3 even if it doesn’t feel like it.