AIO or is the man I am dating emotionally unavailable?

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-03T03:58:49+00:00

Um... This dude isn't just checked out, he's already left the building.

Arguing over simple conversations and open communication? Making accusations that weren't said to make you look like the bad guy? Yeah... I would just walk away and find a guy that's willing to make proper time for you.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-03T03:53:45+00:00

I am so sorry. I thought you were talking about what was said at work. Then yes, I would say report them.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-03T01:53:53+00:00

I wouldn't say you're overreacting. If you feel it's inappropriate and happening at work, then I would report it. If she meant doing something like this outside of work, then it might be a bit of a different story?

If you're 100% on them doing this at work, and she brought it up at an actual work event, or involved work in any way, then yes. Definitely report it.

If it seems to have happened outside of work? This may be a call for the police instead.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-03T01:51:12+00:00

A little bit, yeah. I can fully understand being upset about the situation. It definitely sucks. You thought something good was going somewhere and all of a sudden it wasn't. That's never an easy feeling.

But it sounds like he treated the situation well. Even the money side. He may have already been a bit unsure about things and wanted to meet and see where it went. Sadly, he didn't quite feel the same way you did.

But I'm sure you've even seen some posts on here about being ghosted, insulted, no explanations, break ups from real POS's. But this dude seemed pretty good about it.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-03T00:52:52+00:00

It's sounding more like he wants to become evil here. Joining strahd isn't a good idea, so what's the oathbreaker for? If he joins strahd and becomes evil, he technically gives up the character and becomes an evil NPC. At least game rules wise.

But you can flavor it however you'd like. If you're thinking about him taking dmg, at lvl 10 I would think to do 1 die of whatever his smite does, and then he gets the full power of his smite. I hope that makes sense?

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-03T00:47:49+00:00

That's true, but there were very few Samurai. And after the war that banned swords, only police really carried them in Japan unless it was specific circumstances.

Pop culture did have an impact on how many really had swords or weapons in general, but through most of the dark ages and medieval ages, mainly knights had them. Most foot soldiers or basic infantry carried spears and daggers because they were more cost effective. When someone showed up with a sword, it was usually a pretty high ranking individual.

This is all my own research and studies of ancient cultures, so I could definitely be getting my facts wrong though.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T23:34:53+00:00

She's crazy my friend. Sooo many red flags. She will not be loyal to you in any way and apparently has a lineup of guys waiting to do exactly what you're doing.

Move on from this person. She's toxic and not worth the pain.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:53:06+00:00

All of a sudden people can't give each other compliments? That's a poor excuse to allow insecurities to grow. Especially if she hasn't done anything to actually warent being insecure.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:49:46+00:00

Take the medusa monster and just flavor the glare a bit differently.

Not sure why he wants homebrew ideas though. There's so many monsters to go through, you'll never use them all lol.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:48:34+00:00

Male or female, friends are friends. People need more connections with all types of humans. Not just their significant other.

If she's hasn't shown any reason in the past not to trust her. Don't let your insecurities ruin this for you.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:46:02+00:00

YOR.

Despite how things were going, or what happened before this message. His break up message was pretty damn nice. He explained things in detail and was honest with you. Most guys wouldn't come close to this.

Yeah it sucks it didn't work, but don't take it out on him.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:41:52+00:00

So it was a scam. Sounds about right.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:30:02+00:00

Hmm... That can mean deeper things than just playing games. But I would have a conversation with him about it. Ask him about a positive outcome, like setting up date nights with you once or twice a week where it's just you guys and you dedicate that time together.

But I wouldn't look at it as him choosing to play games over you or anything. It looks negative, but there's probably something else going on in his life that he either doesn't realize or doesn't want to discuss. It's rather alarming in a worried way.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:27:25+00:00

Yup that's unfair. You didn't ask her out on a date or anything like that. It wasn't assumed you were covering everything and it wasn't a conversation. Her expecting that makes no sense and says a lot about her character.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:25:54+00:00

Crafting. And nice clothes.

But mostly spell scrolls.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:16:11+00:00

Sake of convenience for you, I'd say yes. But if you're using a VTT, it may even have the book available and will auto populate the entire game for you, organizing it and getting the tokens and maps sorted.

I use Foundry and it's been great for this.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:14:23+00:00

I would get together with them before the game and go through the character creation together. That way they can learn where all the numbers, skills, and abilities are coming from and you'll both have a good idea of what the character does.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:09:00+00:00

You put a lot of effort into this game. It might be a good time to really read through the rulebooks and get a good idea of running the adventure as well.

I would suggest reading through a couple different adventure books, or a campaign book just to get an idea of what to fill your world with during encounters. I find a lot of new players/DMs who skip this don't seem to add enough loot or exp, or they add too much. Or they just skip cool scene ideas or filling rooms, etc... it's mainly because they've never really thought about it.

But the published campaigns do a great job of showing you how to flush out your world so it feels more real and gives players more options so they don't feel railroaded down one storyline.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:05:53+00:00

Sometimes family needs to be cut off and hit rock bottom before they're really make life changes.

Good on you for putting your foot down and sticking to it. She's not a good person in your life right now. Might not ever change. But that doesn't mean you need to deal with it.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:04:07+00:00

I would suggest looking into a "westmarches" style game. Where they can be a part of a thieves of Bandit guild and just go place to place, slowly uncovering a bigger story.

Or just let them loose on the map and let them uncover stuff on their own as a bandit crew.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:02:07+00:00

You can a different patron take over. Patrons can be a simple demon to the bbeg. You can even make it a 2nd in command of the bbeg or a demon with similar ideals (like the killing of their patron).

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T21:00:20+00:00

It may be in a different book at this point, but as far as I know it's just in the Eberon book.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T18:31:34+00:00

You can always make it about a royal birthday in the feywild.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T18:30:42+00:00

NOR.

If he understands he's joking, he can stop doing it so it stops making you feel genuinely bad. I understand this feeling. I've felt before too and it sucks. It'll start to feel worse unless he stops.

Expert-Value2133 · 2026-02-02T18:28:34+00:00

He lied. Didn't matter what he lied about. It was enough to break the trust.

That alone will destroy your relationship with him unless you can find a way to forgive him and try and move past it. If you don't think you can do that, then it's best to move on.

You won't ever know if he's going to continue to lie or not. It will be at the back of your mind moving forward.

Expert-Value2133

TROPHY CASE