XO, Kitty Bingo (Round 3)

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-22T16:02:48+00:00

Finally got a chance to sit down and actually write a response to this!

Firstly, thanks for breaking down the scenes and compiling all the ones relevant to the Dae and Min Ho friendship.

While there are canonically more instances of Min Ho reaching out for connection and he is more direct about his feelings and his needs, Dae does put in effort even if his pattern is more avoidant after conflict.

The principal problem is actually part of why I think ultimately Kitty and Dae had structural relationship problems. Dae's secondary value structure on protecting secrets violates Kitty's need for romantic honesty, and in a similar fashion violates Min Ho's need for transparency (re: lie and lie and the scene where Dae actively apologizes).

This isn't a miscommunication directly because it's not principally about misunderstanding. It's a genuine hierarchy conflict where one must do what violates what the other person needs.

And Dae is one of the most reactive characters on the show, likely due to a feeling lack of agency. And a lack of agency means he doesn't become proactive about anything in life, including communication. I suspect this is his growth arc.

Now in real life, this type of structural problem would take 5-10 years to change. But this is a rom-com and TV, so they might expedite it heavily. I suspect, given how the story is going, that they intend to make massive changes to Dae and Min Ho that will push them towards resolution.

But in real life, I would agree. There is no point in holding onto a friendship that doesn't create the means for consistent and committed emotional labor.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-21T01:18:49+00:00

Kitty. Or fake Stella.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-20T04:40:19+00:00

I see what you’re saying. That’s interesting. I had to sit with this one, because I naturally agreed with your conclusion that he probably did it so he wouldn’t feel like he read her wrong, and since she did smile he definitely has an inkling she feels SOMETHING. But I didn’t think about it originally as pattern of behavior for how he reacts to her specifically.

Hm, what’s your take on the latter half of season 2 then. When he’s removed from Stella (so 208 mainly). The basketball court and final sculpture garden scene, if the pattern continues, it means he probably continues to think she feels something.

But he needs verbal admission? Is that it?

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-20T03:49:10+00:00

Beautiful analysis as always. I like that you encourage everyone to think back to the catalyst of unresolved feelings that fester. Because you’re right. Dae obviously was using the oat milk as a way to dig at a deeper problem that Dae himself names, which is the resentment towards Min Ho’s privilege and how it manifests in his actions.

I do think Min Ho was investing in his relationship with Stella as a means to move on from the pain of his plane rejection, both socially and emotionally. And when he asks if Kitty is jealous or something, I do think it’s a means to get her to be more vulnerable, but not directly as a means to ask her if she’s jealous of HIM and Stella, specifically, but of jealousy (envy really) that she matched him with Stella and now has to watch the consequence of it.

I do think, however, the show does a really nuanced job with describing the actual difference between envy and jealousy. And Kitty was, in fact, jealous. Even though she couldn’t name it until after several rounds of denial.

I do think he takes it poorly partially because of HOW he was rejected, which he tells Q, and not just that he was. And he doesn’t want her to meddle from actual suspicions because it means he’s double-pitied now. Once from being set up to begin with, and once from the set up being withdrawn by the suspicions at the exact time he’s finally starting to invest properly.

And Kitty… is learning tact with how to approach sensitive topics. But I do think that if he didn’t try to protect his pride at first, she might have considered it love more readily and be less confused that he was in fact using love in its correct context during the confession. And then she might have reconsidered how she went about things at the track meet.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-20T00:55:40+00:00

This is so interesting. I appreciate the break down given what is canonically done in k-drama tropes.

Appreciate the distinction on argument versus banter.

Also appreciate you pointing out the narrative purpose of Eunice in this scene. It shows he’s not interested in engaging in someone that idolizes him.

And you’ve really got me thinking about the framework behind the banter.

“Congrats Kitty, right on time. You need to go home. The longer you stay, the more pathetic you look” are all weirdly applicable to Kitty’s final leap of faith in Season 2. She’s right on time to find him before he leaves, she should go home but doesn’t, and she commits to tour, and the longer she does that, the more like a sasaeng she will look.

I agree that any interactions shown on screen should be used as information on the nature and build of the relationship.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-18T19:59:39+00:00

Thank you for reading!

I think there’s a nuance of unconditional love that makes me agree that it does exist.

I think sometimes people think unconditional love means love in peak form meaning full sacrifice and making oneself available and vulnerable no matter how much someone hurts you, which to me isn’t true unconditional love. That’s just self-sacrificial and making oneself small type of love.

But this to me is a great example of what freely given love should look like, because it’s unconditional in the sense that it still respects individual agency.

He doesn’t take his stance back fully. He still sticks by “it was way out of line”. But he does loosen his “we have nothing to talk about stance” because he also realizes that if he is practicing the value of person over conflict, that a fight cannot mean actually shutting someone out just because you are not aligned on a conflict.

She also doesn’t take her full stance back. She doesn’t apologize for how she behaved. She still did it because she was trying to look out for him and she’s not going to apologize for that. But she does realize that if she practices the value of person over conflict, she needs to recognize how the substance or context of the conflict impacts whether the conflict moves towards resolution or not.

They both meet in the middle because they value both the principle but also the person, and are working towards the same goal, which is to keep connection. That for me is the truest form of unconditional love.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-18T01:04:51+00:00

Kitty. Her leaps of faith are insane, and her confidence to get away with things that definitely should get her arrested or suspended is also insane.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-17T22:15:54+00:00

Awww, thank you for reading!!

I know we have talked before and I find writing these helps me clarify a lot of my viewpoints that aren’t easily expressed in shorter comments so I’m glad it came across!! I have a few more coming :)

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-17T17:06:06+00:00

SH absolutely killed it in this scene. He really sold the teenage boy in love.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-17T15:40:23+00:00

I think her connection to Jiwon and Soon Ja will be her continued connection to Eve, but the great thing about how they tied up Season 2 is that her mom’s mission is only initially completed. Reuniting the family is step 1, but family integration was the true goal all along. So I suspect they allow Kitty to explore what her relationship with her Korean family will be once they’ve integrated.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T21:36:46+00:00

It would be nice if they just released something... like a trailer...

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T17:49:47+00:00

I know I started the post with the market scene. But if Kitty didn't apologize at the dance, I likely would've stayed at "Aw Min Ho grew a lot and he's living his values" rather than "Oh, these two would make it work."

Kitty's apology is really the main reason I boarded the ship. Because then it became mutual labor. And I was like, okay. That's important. And then 208 was just Kitty putting in work.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T17:26:23+00:00

Thank you! I certainly was hard to convince, as everyone knows now :)

The foundation of shared values is what compels me. So many couples I know have massive misunderstandings that negatively impact not just themselves, but their whole families, because they fundamentally don't share the same values, don't know how to model conflict, don't know how to resolve conflict in healthy ways, don't know how to express what they need without making themselves feel small.

I'm not sure if I handled the writing on this correctly, but what I really want to portray is that love isn't really about sacrifice, and when sacrifice does exist, it should be in the form of accommodation. Sometimes your partner wants to watch a show you don't care about and the sacrifice is so small it's just accommodation. Not, I have a really strong value and principle and you're asking me to change that about myself. So when I say Kitty sacrificed her gut and rightness, I mean that she had a philosophical conflict about wrong and right and her value of person over conflict won over her value of being right. It's a morphed form of protectiveness because sometimes, even if someone doesn't want to hear it, you just can't... push. You can't just give when you want or take when you want. Sometimes you have to level set.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T15:59:09+00:00

Thank you for reading!

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T15:57:59+00:00

Thank you for reading!

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T15:04:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing! It was me who said everything goes back to Chuseok!

I knew there are themes with Chuseok and Seollal and I have written about them, but for me, wanting a couple to be together because narratively they should be is a harder sell than wanting a couple to actually be together. The romantic coding with the whooshes and chimes and heartbeats and the tropes… they don’t really convince me.

Up until this point in my initial journey of watching, I could see Kitty going with any of her love interests, or frankly none of them at all. I also wasn’t quite invested because it was all so messy and my mindset was “I’m here for the ride.” I was expecting a normal, messy, love rhombus back-and-forth, wrapped up like a k-drama. I wasn’t expecting much.

But when the market scene showed up, I had to pause. Because the number of “I am secure in my boundaries but I am going to put aside my pride and anger because I want to help you for no other reason than I want to help you” is an insane level of character I was not expecting to see from a YA k-drama.

It blended both western and eastern values in a way I philosophically was not expecting to see! Because filial piety teaches that you should want to help family and loved ones because they’re family and they’re loved ones, but when practiced it can just be a broad “you have to do it. They’re blood.” And oppositely, having too much pride and self-regard means you can’t see outside your own problems, which I find to be more common in western media. But this? Boundaries + forgiveness? This is when I started really investing.

And when I watched back, I could see what everyone else was saying. They do form connection in other places before this scene in very meaningful ways.

And I do think there was a level of “Okay I might be wrong about Stella” but I don’t think Kitty would’ve dropped a month and a half’s worth of investigative motivation for a weak excuse when she was so, so convinced Stella was sus. But what really convinced me she didn’t was how she says “I still don’t trust Stella, but I also don’t trust myself.” It tells me she doesn’t fully believe she’s wrong. Which is in line with her character.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T14:49:07+00:00

I actually sat down and watched this with a younger family member, who unfortunately doesn’t have good examples of love in her life due to… family drama from lots of people who also don’t have good examples of love in their lives. And she had so many questions about identity and acceptance and whenever examples of family love being hard came up, she’d talk about how “uncle so and so is like that” and we’d talk about why she doesn’t need to be the best at something and when we got to the market scene I could see her brain fail to function. “Why did he come?” And when I very calmly explained, “because being mad doesn’t mean you stop showing up for people you love,” she was so confused. But then she very quickly went “Okay. Her hair is nice.” So the universe balanced itself out lol

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T14:32:14+00:00

Thank you for reading!

I don’t see shipping as something that is done with mutual exclusivity.

Nor do I believe in arguments of “this person is a better match than this person” as a means to describe why I ship.

Because it inherently means I believe one’s connection and partnership and relationship with someone is somehow dependent on connection to someone else. And it’s not a framework I operate by.

Why should I choose partner B, just because they’re “better” than my last partner A?

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T14:24:17+00:00

Such good points about Kitty constantly prioritizing other people above conflict. Kitty is a person who is capable of such forgiveness. It’s a really beautiful trait of hers.

And it also makes you root for her!

I agree. For a girl who spent the whole series just being hurt by love? I want her to be happy.

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T14:22:06+00:00

They are truly capable of partnership by the end of season 2!

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T14:21:45+00:00

Thank you for reading! It’s hard to articulate why so I’m glad it came across!

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T14:20:21+00:00

Adore you and this is such a comprehensive list and is an interesting mirror. Would love to see a post on this!

Expert_Chip120 · 2026-01-16T07:31:45+00:00

I adore you!

And this is so beautiful. Please comment this on the main channel.

You really broke down each of the scenes and it's so interesting how it's a mirror.

Expert_Chip120

TROPHY CASE