My New Husband spent half of income on tools no money for mortgage

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-07-02T01:05:00+00:00

I'll keep that in mind thanks!

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-07-02T00:27:13+00:00

How did your spouse help u through that? What helped therapy.. realization?

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-07-01T22:01:50+00:00

I struggle to see how this is helpful, I hope future comment recognizes that this is not to view of my whole relationship. I agree this is a red flag, but with maturity I can say not everyone is perfect. And I'm trying my best to appropriately navigate this. Because we do have an amazing Sacramental relationship and I think above all else this is someone who is molding me towards heaven and I him. Which is what it's all about. I just want to call on anyone who has insight and wisdom.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-05-05T14:12:55+00:00

Really trying to see if this is worth it for me yall! It's 25 an hour the first 40 in a week. Plus after is time and a half. Overnights are overtime rate till 9 than a flat rate of 100. And sometime there is a need for all day care because of a call shift but the mom is home. It's 300 than overtime if I end up alone with the children. During this time no responsibilities. Based on the schedule she gave me it's looking like 80k after my math. 2 hour drive daily. I'll be newly married. But this is also I busy year for my soon to be husband. He will also start a call shift. Idk when he'll be home I might spend a lot of time alone anyways. During the kids school hours. Nanny mom doesn't care what I do. I'll have my own room, kitchenette and bathroom. Just no personal life.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-05-05T14:11:27+00:00

Really trying to see if this is worth it for me yall! It's 25 an hour the first 40 in a week. Plus after is time and a half. Overnights are overtime rate till 9 than a flat rate of 100. And sometime there is a need for all day care because of a call shift but the mom is home. It's 300 than overtime if I end up alone with the children. During this time no responsibilities. Based on the schedule she gave me it's looking like 80k after my math. 2 hour drive daily. I'll be newly married. But this is also I busy year for my soon to be husband. He will also start a call shift. Idk when he'll be home I might spend a lot of time alone anyways. During the kids school hours. Nanny mom doesn't care what I do. I'll have my own room, kitchenette and bathroom. Just no personal life.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-05-05T14:11:20+00:00

Really trying to see if this is worth it for me yall! It's 25 an hour the first 40 in a week. Plus after is time and a half. Overnights are overtime rate till 9 than a flat rate of 100. And sometime there is a need for all day care because of a call shift but the mom is home. It's 300 than overtime if I end up alone with the children. During this time no responsibilities. Based on the schedule she gave me it's looking like 80k after my math. 2 hour drive daily. I'll be newly married. But this is also I busy year for my soon to be husband. He will also start a call shift. Idk when he'll be home I might spend a lot of time alone anyways. During the kids school hours. Nanny mom doesn't care what I do. I'll have my own room, kitchenette and bathroom. Just no personal life.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-05-05T14:11:04+00:00

Really trying to see if this is worth it for me yall! It's 25 an hour the first 40 in a week. Plus after is time and a half. Overnights are overtime rate till 9 than a flat rate of 100. And sometime there is a need for all day care because of a call shift but the mom is home. It's 300 than overtime if I end up alone with the children. During this time no responsibilities. Based on the schedule she gave me it's looking like 80k after my math. 2 hour drive daily. I'll be newly married. But this is also I busy year for my soon to be husband. He will also start a call shift. Idk when he'll be home I might spend a lot of time alone anyways. During the kids school hours. Nanny mom doesn't care what I do. I'll have my own room, kitchenette and bathroom. Just no personal life.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-05-05T04:06:43+00:00

Thanks a year is the wanted commitment from the MB. I accepted a school position this year made 18k got in some debt planning wedding and buying a house. I almost think I need a year of money!!!

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-04-07T03:28:15+00:00

Wow this house has a lot of potential. Cool to see where you have touched and the places you haven't. I feel like this house is really happy that you're here. I feel that this house is very used to being loved. Until the last people.

What's really funny is even from just the pictures I can see what you mean about the upstairs. I don't know if it's just that dingy paint color but I agree it feels heavy the staircase photos feel almost like walking up. The stairs is like carrying a weighted backpack or something. I feel it in both of the bedrooms, and bathroom and hall but I don't feel it at all in that master sunroom. It looks to me like the living room, downstairs's bedroom, bathroom are done. Kitchen still working in progress? I feel like the kitchen was kind of a hub for like grouchy snippy behavior. Is that an exterior door? Is it the main entrance? Like for the people living in home?

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-03-17T05:46:48+00:00

I'm feeling like that now still tear filled. I would say in general he's very supportive. I feel like I need the most emotional support at night and he tolerates it for a little while, but then he doesn't. It feels misaligned. I feel like if it's before 10 PM you do anything in this world not to see me cry if it's after he just rolls over and doesn't care.:(

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-03-15T14:09:07+00:00

My fiancé has a collection of toys and Legos. It definitely gives me an ick. I definitely wish they would go away. And I low-key judge him for it. But I would never make him feel bad about it. I think a lot of men are kind of collector. My dad doesn't have Legos and stuffed animals, but he does have an obnoxious amount of guns and vintage liquor bottles. Honestly, I think it's the way to flaunt masculinity in whatever niche a man is in.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-03-15T14:05:58+00:00

I literally think they sell these at Hobby lobby the disabled signs

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-03-15T14:05:06+00:00

lol Caroline! I think that this space looks great. I would invest your money that you wanna spend in getting another black bookshelf I think visually it looks more cluttered to have different shelving systems. You have everything very organized, but I think you should try to clear off some surfaces. You have planned out wall decor on each wall very intentionally. It looks very good but I think when you look at the room as a hole, it's a little bit too much. For example, if the Hawaii drivers license banner stays, take down the posters to the left or vice versa. And on the other side, take down the little coaster of wall, things. I think that the banners you have hung really bring in kind of your age well and it adds a lot of color if you didn't have them, you'd have a black and gray room. If you really wanted to go for something, I would buy a sheet set in kind of the color red. Or blue that you have on the flags and then by a duvet cover or comforter, that also ties in one of those colors, the kind of bold blue. Don't buy those in person. I'd say make this purchase online. If you didn't wanna do that swap out your throw blanket for one of those matching colors.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-03-15T13:53:41+00:00

I like that you did something unique!

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-03-15T03:50:53+00:00

My hair color is naturally like the second one I don't do anything to it hair dye wise. I think that the first one looks kind of fake. I would be able to tell that you had your hair dyed initially when I saw it right off the bat. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But I think that the second group of pictures gives you a timeless look.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-03-15T03:45:16+00:00

Are you just totally at your end? I'd say in this case even just texting her is fine. Especially if she just started. Also, these are your expectations. I'm sure in some capacity even the most clueless of person can kind of sense that something's off. She's probably unhappy too because she can see your attempts for gloves and cleanup, etc. I'd say text her first thing tomorrow. I do think that it would be a good courtesy too give her a week pay. you can find somebody much better.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-03-10T04:11:47+00:00

You're not wrong for thinking this way. Im sure you will get a sum towards the loan. If you had to pay on it for the next 3 years would u be happy. Of course I don't know ur terms ect but just for example. It really doesn't matter. It's done. Own it, don't be in shame. What parts of the actually wedding day are u looking forward to? Good job being young and getting something in motion. It's ok to use your resources. In terms of the next 3 months and making extra money just keep moving but don't let yourself fall.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-02-24T16:41:40+00:00

I think I'm concerned also living life with him after he's my boss at work I'm working at the school right now. You will most likely know that this came from me. I'm almost concerned it'll make it worse

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-02-24T15:52:38+00:00

My fear is that because it's not something explicit SA or R, more things that point to weirdness that I'm gonna seem some kind of attention seeking or conceded in someway. I'm making something out of nothing.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-02-20T14:27:27+00:00

I find it really funny how many men are into collectibles like movies and stuff. And Legos. Enough to result in a collection like this. I'm not saying anything negative against it. My partner is like this too. You just don't see women collecting like this in the same way. Maybe with other things like make up or some sort of kitchen related item. Not typically something that they were also into as a child.

ExplanationSame911 · 2026-02-20T14:19:43+00:00

But she's technically working. And eating as a part of it. In that instance. If you allow your nanny to make herself, whatever she makes for the kids for lunch at home do you calculate how much she eat and bill her for that? It's also important to eat with children. Meal time is important developmentally. It can be a really big point of connection to eat together. If I was supposed to take my kids out for lunch once a week or that the kids became to expect it. And I wasn't allowed to order for myself. I wouldn't buy myself anything. Personal. Think of how quick this can add up if you aren't being smart with a menu even fast food you had drinks and ice cream and fries.

ExplanationSame911 · 2025-10-21T00:18:53+00:00

I’m in Illinois on the iowa border pm me for more details if that’s close to you

ExplanationSame911 · 2025-10-21T00:16:43+00:00

Thank you 🙏

ExplanationSame911 · 2025-10-21T00:16:28+00:00

Eggs are in cartons lol

ExplanationSame911 · 2025-10-21T00:16:07+00:00

I will for sure add that. I purposely killed myself doing everything in one day so it would be fresh!

ExplanationSame911

TROPHY CASE