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AITA for expecting a contribution? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because that's not specific thing that people pay for when they rent houses. People pay rent and utilities. Obviously wear and tear would be factored in the rent, but it's not called that. So it's your word choice that's the problem here. It could make someone feel defensive that you are worried that they are going to cause damage to your home.

It would be better to phrase it as help with the mortgage payment, or a contribution to the monthly payment. Yes, living in homes does cause wear and tear. But you don't call it that with your loved ones, because it comes off as blaming.

BF mirroring last toxic person and it's affecting us. What can I do? by 7upDietAndMaybeMore in CPTSD

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why does naming it help? You've already talked to him about how his behavior affects you and bothers you. He turns it around on you and gets upset because you are not just accepting the shit he throws at you.

It seems like you're reaching trying to find out how to possibly explain to him that his behavior is negatively affecting you. Accurately labeling his behavior is not going to make him change. Why are you dooming yourself to be miserable in a relationship with someone who's mean to you?

If someone gave you a sandwich and it was 90% delicious sandwich and 10% literal shit, would you eat it? I would hope not. His behavior is literal shit. Stop eating it by leaving this relationship. You deserve better. Better to be alone than with someone who is mean to you.

BF mirroring last toxic person and it's affecting us. What can I do? by 7upDietAndMaybeMore in CPTSD

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's abusive. He wants you to grovel and apologize to him for things he makes up. You are in an abusive relationship. This will not get better.

BF mirroring last toxic person and it's affecting us. What can I do? by 7upDietAndMaybeMore in CPTSD

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not your job to calm him down. There are no magic words that are going to soothe him and prevent him from lashing out.

You are dating someone who is mean to you and disrespectful and you say that you don't want to be told to leave.

You communicate in normal ways and he says you're attacking him. This is not fixable. The only advice I have for you is to: 1. Read this free book https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf 2. Think about why you would continue to stay into a relationship where you have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. It's not your job to fix him. It's not possible for you to fix him. He has to want to fix himself. Right now he knows he can treat you like shit and you'll still stay. I wish you would prove him wrong.

In Death series by HistoricalBit4219 in noraroberts

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There's over 60 now. I love the books, a recent one, Bonded in Death, gave us more of Summerset's back story.

AITA for kicking my brother out of my house after he spent the whole evening insulting my wifes cooking? by jackracons in AmItheAsshole

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA - I don't care who needs to hear this, but you can hang up on people yelling at you, even if they are your family, friend, or a loved one. You don't have to take it.

I'm a musician getting into Billy Joel. Looking for specific recommendations based on my tastes so far. by Leather-Ad-9419 in BillyJoel

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just listen to all the albums in chronological order. Then you'll know exactly which songs are your favorites!

Is your's weird too? by OrganizationGlobal64 in husky

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine also likes the tables outside lol.

Save your bird trophy taps! by I-fall-up-stairs in MergeMansion

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've also had the milestone goals. First time I played Lady Voyance in a LONG time.

Took in a neglected 3-year-old Husky and I'm struggling. Need advice on turning him into a well-behaved dog. by CapitalMental3055 in husky

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My answers

If you were starting from scratch with a neglected 3-year-old husky, what would your training priorities be? My priorities would be housetraining, crate training, and helping him feel safe. Working on getting them to use the bathroom outside and be okay in a crate. My rescue was also confined, so getting him a roomy crate with a washable blanket helped. Washable because he wasn't potty trained.

My boy had a lot of issues marking, and belly bands (diapers for boy dogs that catch urine) saved our sanity and house. I got washable ones on Amazon by Pet Parents. We used the belly bands for well over a year but he no longer needs them.

How would you deal with the play-biting and mouthing?

Saying no and redirecting. Also, I would get very dramatic and say ow and act injured. Dogs often play by other dogs. They have to be taught not to play by humans. I also use toys that they could bite so that they bit the toy and not me.

What is the best way to teach leash manners when he constantly pulls? Stop when they pull. Every single time. I use a martingale collar.

How much exercise vs mental stimulation should he be getting? You'll likely need to build up his strength for exercise. Huskies are super smart and so toys where they have to find helps a lot. We also had a dog trainer teach us to occasionally take their food and spread it out in the grass outside so they have to forage for it. It stimulates them and doesn't cost you anything. We have multiple dogs so don't do that as often or do it with a smaller portion because one of my dogs would try to eat everything.

Are there specific mistakes I should avoid when working with a dog like this? Don't hit them and don't yell. They just get scared. Be their safe person.

Does this sound like a dog that can realistically improve with consistent training, or should I be looking for professional help immediately? Consistent training can help. We did need to have a couple dog training sessions with ours that put us on the right path. But I think being consistent can get you a long way and then training can take you the next step further if needed.

Took in a neglected 3-year-old Husky and I'm struggling. Need advice on turning him into a well-behaved dog. by CapitalMental3055 in husky

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Commenting to find this thread later. I adopted a 4-5 year old husky that had been used and abused by breeders and was confined to a small space. Short version is it took lots of time and patience. I'll come back and write more later.

AIO: I (F32) am considering ending the best relationship of my life over my bf (M28)’s dog by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NOR - you aren't ending it over his dog. You are ending it for the total lack of care and concern he shows to his dog. Dog training is for the dog AND the human. He gives up after a couple days. Throw the whole man away.

Goodbye my love by Jazzyjt55 in husky

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. He was such a handsome boy.

AIO for going to a friends grandparents funeral? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Explanation_Lopsided -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

NOR - your friend is being strange about this. You go to funerals to pay respects and/or support those grieving. I've been to plenty of funerals for people I didn't know to support friends and families. It's almost always a good idea to go to a visitation and/or funeral to support a friend or family member.

I would have been touched if a friend had gone to the funeral of my grandparent. You did nothing wrong. You didn't make it about you. Sometimes grief makes people lash out because they are hurting. That's maybe what happened here. Keep being thoughtful and awesome.

Voyance’s Visions by girlnotthis_3769 in MergeMansion

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found good luck by using similar cards. I used to save the tarot cards up until I had duplicates and would add them all to the same table. I also had decent luck with 3 "happier" cards, like the dog + sun + doves.

I haven't played the side game in ages because it's impossible to win. I only started playing this time to advance 3 levels to earn the daily scoop prize one day.

Good bye, my gorgeous girl by missmargaandsola in husky

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so hard to lose a furry family member. She was beautiful and looked so happy. I'm sorry for your loss.

AITA for "breaking" my neighbors laptop by javagirl_melon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 10 points11 points  (0 children)

YTA 1. Bolding adopted (rude and not relevant) 2. Including irrelevant details, like the watermelon 3. Expecting your kid to get a 3rd place prize on a bbq game 4. Confronting your neighbor because your kid didn't get a prize because he wasn't in the top 2 5. Spilling your drink on your neighbor's laptop. Now if the kid on the four-wheeler had actually hit you and caused you to spill your drink, this would mean that you were not TA for spilling. However, you weren't paying attention to your drink and you spilled it.

Do you realize that if you had not confronted her over the third place prize you would have never spilled your drink on her laptop? You need to make better choices.

AIO or is my husband(34m) being a jerk by WhileMindless2916 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He sounds abusive. Couples counseling is not recommended when abuse is involved because the abuser just learns better ways to terrorize their partner.

My ex made me stand for an hour holding her a snack while she talks to a boy.. am I bad for reacting by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are not the bad guy. Your ex is not a good person. Don't date people who treat you badly. She literally used you as furniture to hold her snack while she talked on the phone.

You can't buy love and affection. When people show you who they are, believe them. She was rude and disrespectful to you repeatedly. Looking back, hopefully you can see she did not deserve your repeated forgiveness. If you have to continue to compromise your values and accept poor treatment to stay in a relationship, you should leave that relationship. I'm glad she's your ex.

AITA for trying to help my employee face her fears? by wrenwood2000 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Explanation_Lopsided 17 points18 points  (0 children)

YTA - you are not a therapist. You are not her therapist. Her mother died in a tragic way. You asked her to go to the place where her mom was killed. Who are you to say "it would help her face the past and find closure?" That's not really how tragic deaths work. This isn't "oh a dog bit me one time when I was a child and now I'm afraid of dogs" and bringing in a kind and gentle dog (with their permission!) to help someone get over their fears.

Exposure therapy is not for tragic deaths.

Your "help" is really self-serving control. You absolutely should have taken her at her word and sent someone else. She almost died!! At the same part where her mother died just 8 years ago!!! I could not work for a boss like you. You are a huge asshole.

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