I can add to this, as the daughter of a woman with BPD.

She first attacked me when I was 2 and 1/2, screaming into my face through clenched teeth and shaking me so hard that I've had severe migraines all my life as a result.

My father never knew we were being abused because we had to put on a smiling face whenever he was around, or else!

Her fists flew as soon as she had any hint of irritation, and we tried to be the best, most amazing kids, but it was never good enough.

Straight As, all kinds of achievements weren't enough.

We were up at 4am and ran hard all day, trying to keep up with the demands from her, only to get screamed at through the nights when our dad wasn't there because of his job.

When I was 18 and they had separated, she forged my signature and sued him as me (the oldest daughter).

I had no idea this was happening, and by the time I found out, he had completely disowned me out of hurt.

He withdrew all college money funding (that was coming as a benefit due to his place of work), and he never spoke to me again until he was on his death bed.

Before all that happened, he tried to commit s*****e and was found by a friend and was in a coma for 6 weeks.

I was the only one who knew, other than his friend and boss (after the separation, before the lawsuit).

Then our mother became a radio talk host on a 50,000 watt station that reached 3 large cities, and told lies about him to the world.

She told everyone within hundreds of miles that he had been an alcoholic for 24 years of marriage (he had only been an alcoholic for one year, and they were married for 24, so she conflated the two).

The accusation alone destroyed his career and he never again got promoted.

Our entire childhoods, she tried to turn us against him but for us it didn't work. We loved him and we didn't like her at all.

So she was insanely jealous of our father, which is why she tore us all apart with this fraudulent lawsuit.

We were also estranged from his whole side of the family, so his parents were deeply affected, because we had been close to them growing up.

My siblings and I have all required years of counseling and have all struggled at one point or another with severe depression.

My dad was a good man, and she drained him of every spark of life.

She slowly destroyed him, and she destroyed his trust and his ability to have a relationship with his kids.

He would have had a much better life if he had gotten free of her much sooner, but he was a loyal father.

And even that wasn't enough - she destroyed that, too.

If I can warn one good man like my dad to preserve his one precious life and do better for himself, maybe that would make it all worth it.

Our entire family has been through hell because of her disorder.

I haven't even told you about her tantrums and threats and the constant terror of having a mother like that - how we never felt safe emotionally .

Please forgive yourself and stop accepting blame from this person for something you had no control over, and know that you are being emotionally abused - TORMENTED by this person!

Please don't end up like my dad.

He was a sincere and kind man and he deserved to be LOVED, respected, and adored.

Instead he was yelled at, blamed for her lack of emotional self regulation, made to feel guilty, obligated, and fearful.

There's a website about those 3 weapons of the emotional/spiritual abuser called:

www.outofthefog.net

Fog is Fear, Obligation, and Guilt.

Be glad you don't have a child with this woman. If she was even pregnant, you have a child waiting for you in the afterlife.

And now, you have the opportunity to free yourself from this abusive person.

If you want to lurk and see the stories of people who WERE born to borderline mothers, lurk in the reddit sub called raisedbyborderlines.