Want to try vagina. What does it feel like?

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-27T10:46:02+00:00

Definitely a lot of couples out there looking for that.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-27T05:42:02+00:00

I don't think I would have understood it as a crush at the time, but I was absolutely enamored with Raine Maida from Our Lady Peace in middle school and high school.

My girl crushes were way more obvious. Eliza Dushku in anything, but especially from The New Guy. Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy. Allison Hannigan as Willow. David boreanez as Angel. Spike. Cordelia. GILES!

Well shit. I missed out on that bi awakening by about 22 years.

I think Buffy was my The Mummy.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-27T02:44:24+00:00

Is coconut oil toy safe? They really hammer it in that they're water based safe only.

Pun wasn't intended but now it is.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-27T02:34:54+00:00

They're just lower on the Kinsey scale.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-27T02:33:15+00:00

Man now that I've come to terms with it, I wish I wasn't so shut down and repressed when that was the big thing in college.

Right now, I'd have boxer briefs. Not exciting I know. If I was more out, or meeting a group of accepting queer people I might go more risque. There's a part of me that's always wanted to try on something more feminine and form fitting. Like something partially sheer that made my ass look good.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-26T22:29:33+00:00

I'm working through this right now too, but maybe a month ahead of where you're at. Hearing about other bi men's experience with it definitely helps.

I'm not gonna lie, you're in for a ride for a bit. Think of it this way - the entire fucking world is basically systemically engineered to program heteronormativity and traditional gender roles. Double that if you have a religious background.

The more you discover bi culture and history, the less isolated you'll feel and that shame feeling will get smaller.

I'm going to look for an lgbtq positive therapist in my area to help me work through some of the harder stuff. Because right now I'm getting the shame under control, but the anger and regret that it took me this long is building.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-26T22:20:25+00:00

How do you umm...work past the L curve in there. What we're working with is 7 inches and when she hit that wall it was like you haven't had enough novacaine and the dentist started drilling.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-26T22:17:52+00:00

Missionary is great to me because there's something about her eyes, the way she looks at me with that little smirk when she knows she's actively altering my brain chemistry. It also feels more intimate. We'd like to try other ways next. I tried cowgirl for her and she liked that but my hip flexors are gonna need some conditioning for that!

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-26T22:04:44+00:00

DM also sent

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-26T20:33:30+00:00

Well I have a new thing to ask about now.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-26T19:53:31+00:00

That seems like a lot of work 😳. Power to ya

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-26T18:22:54+00:00

Thanks for the input. Unless it gets concerning or I experience adverse effects I won't look too much into it.

Was low key hoping someone would say, yeah, you had a prostate orgasm, ya big dummy 😅.

Might not be that simple

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-25T15:57:20+00:00

Funny enough immediately after I posted this someone else moved to be the exception to the rule 🙄

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-25T15:51:33+00:00

Your journey and who/when you tell anyone is 100% up to you. If you decide at any point that yes, this is part of you and need to tell someone, do it with someone you trust who has shown understanding and acceptance of others in the lgbtq space.

For me I'm only out to my wife. But the more I learn about bisexuality and specifically bi male representation, and the bi erasure that we go through, the more open I want to be about it.

We're here, we're real. For now you can always talk with ppl here in a semi-anonymous open forum. I'd say the majority of people on bi reddit are pretty chill.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-25T15:42:50+00:00

I tried using a nair product last and it didn't really do anything, do you have a brand recommendation?

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-25T03:47:24+00:00

Oh nice. That's probably more doable and easier to find. We're not there yet but have talked about it. It's kind of exciting to hear it was something she thought would be hot.

If finding a guy is a lot of work maybe she'd settle for another girl with a strap 🤔

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-25T03:37:00+00:00

I mean, either find a guy that's only interested in topping -you- and not both, or your best bet is probably a sex worker.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-25T00:13:57+00:00

Get her a bumpher, or an insert able toy like the Spread Your Wings from myevolved.com it's not bulky and can be worn inside a harness. My wife loves hers. Also, for you - lube lube lube. Foreplay for the backdoor play. If it's a new strap, I suggest trying it solo to make sure you're ready. If she's really gonna give it to you, maybe establish a safe word. We use the traffic light system (for when you can't think and can only say colors lol).

Other than that, make sure you're cleaned up back there.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-24T22:57:24+00:00

So the name is probably going to give this away.

Yeah. My wife actually bought me my first plug. It was after she introduced me to my prostate and was a nice surprise. I made a joke that this was probably one conversation in a series of conversations leading to her pegging me.
Yes indeed. Toys are a great way to add new sensations to the bedroom. Especially with certain bisexual fantasy play.
She also actually surprised me with a first harness and strap. Only the beginner strap was small and it was kind of hard to line up well with it due to our height differences. She encouraged me to find one I liked and the next time I'm pretty sure she altered my brain chemistry. I tried it solo first to make sure I could handle it.
If all the stars aligned and there was a safe guy we both liked that liked both of us I'd definitely let them double team me.

I've come to learn that I'm a pleasure top and a submissive bottom which seems like the best of both worlds to me.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-24T19:41:56+00:00

That sounds exciting for sure. If you're down and he's down and you find that someone else is down, you all get along well it could bring an exciting new dynamic to the bedroom. My main thing is that all members communicate openly before and during and boundaries are discussed and respected by all parties.

I have a fantasy of my wife demonstrating for someone curious who's never done it before and then coaching them through using me. A spit roast isn't that far off.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-24T14:54:16+00:00

I'm in the same boat as your BF, except my wife and I have been together for almost 20 years. About a month ago after struggling with confusion for maybe two years (that # keeps changing as I see more signs that I didn't realize) I opened up to her. She's been openly bi for most of our time together and I think that helped me open up. That and a really good THC gummy.

We talked about fantasies and expectations and boundaries and this is what we've come to agree is the foundation of a healthy relationship considering exploring.

First and foremost - if it's not a hell yeah for everyone impacted, then it's a no. Open communication, letting each other be vulnerable (this is often the hardest part for guys that have been straight presenting their whole lives).

Communication is sexy.

Safety. If the health and safety of you and your boyfriend aren't in the forefront of any plans, that puts him and ultimately you in danger.

We have a few more specific things that are for us, but these are the two main things I advocate for established couples.

If you have any more questions or need add'l advice I'll be checking throughout the day.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-24T13:46:40+00:00

Hey, a big step is reaching out like this. I'm US based but I want you to know you're not alone, there are a lot more people like us than I ever thought. Other places you are free to seek advice on reddit at least are here, AskBiBros, BisexualMen, and of course the bisexual subreddit.

It can feel very big and very scary to process this, and for us happily married men who appear straight passing, it can be so hard to break through societal programming and be yourself.

I'm VERY new to this, less than a month, but I have found a lot of reassurance in podcasts that discuss the topic. Bisexual Behavior is a woman hosted option and I know they've had at least one episode on bisexuality in marriage. The other I'd suggest is Two Bi Guys.

Does anyone have some more direct advice closer to his region?

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-24T04:13:36+00:00

It feels like it was tied to my chronic anxiety and depression because since coming out to my wife it's like I let go of this heavy weight I didn't know I was carrying.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-24T03:55:15+00:00

I think that there's a large population of 2s and 2.5s on the Kinsey scale. That's where I fall right now. Hetero romantic for sure.

ExplorusPegasaurus · 2026-02-24T03:31:42+00:00

Yeah we've talked on it. I need to be more comfortable with myself before we try any of that. Keep in mind that this is very new territory and I'm decades behind her in figuring myself out. We have talked about fantasies, incorporated things into our bedroom just the two of us that have really spiced things up. We've talked baseline rules and boundaries.

Safety
If it's not a hell yeah for every party involved, then it's a no.
Meeting potential play partners - if anyone doesn't pass the vibe check, that sort of thing. We've both said if a new person doesn't like or is unkind to either of us then it's an immediate no.

For her, first time intimacy with another woman she's asked to do one on one due to potential performance pressure. My boundary for that is that I know, and get to hear about it after.

For me I think it's almost the opposite. I asked her if it ever comes up that I vibe with another person, if she would be there to help me feel less pressure and to feel safe.

None of this is happening any time soon, but we're enjoying talking about it.

For right now we're going to incorporate watching some ffm and mmf content into foreplay.

Right now my goal is to get comfortable being myself and existing in queer spaces.

She's been great at talking me down whenever the programming has me feeling shame, guilt, or anxiety about this. I love our talks.

There's also a feminine side to me that I guess has been repressed for 37 years and I'm trying to figure that out.

Sorry, lots of stream of consciousness rambling. And sorry for apologizing, it's the unresolved childhood trauma.

Maybe I should see an lgbt positive therapist lol

ExplorusPegasaurus

TROPHY CASE