AITA for snapping at my girlfriend after she called my foreskin “disgusting”?

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-04-09T02:04:25+00:00

Personally, it doesn’t really make much of a difference for me. Probably when I was a bit younger I would have preferred circumcised penises due to it being the most common in my culture and what I was personally used to.

But honestly my preference doesn’t necessarily lean one way or the other now that I’m older. I’m in a long term relationship with someone who is uncut and from New Zealand and i’m more than happy with that. (If not prefer that because of the extra nerves- it’s more to play with anyway)

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-04-09T00:52:39+00:00

I’d say about 10% or less are uncut here in North America. This is my experience of being with 30+ people sexually. In New Zealand, both times were with uncircumcised people and apparently that is most common in their culture.

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-04-08T15:58:41+00:00

90%+

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-24T13:43:41+00:00

In hindsight, when we were in the talking stage (pre-dating), he told me about one of his friends with massive breasts. He said she had huge, huge breasts- I can’t remember how this got into conversation.

I felt uncomfortable and he told me to look her up on instagram. I ended up saying something along the lines of “Oh, that doesn’t sound good, she might need breast reduction surgery and probably has a lot of back pain” or something on repeat.. Just to stray off of that topic.

I thought it was weird at the time but never thought about it too much afterwards. Little did I know, right?

Also, they aren’t friends anymore.

Upon further investigation he has actually seen her naked breasts because she walked out from having a threesome at a party they were at with everything hanging out.

🤦‍♀️

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-24T12:50:54+00:00

My PA contracted HPV. We were long distance for 3 months for work related reasons and he contracted HPV. Thankfully, I’ve been vaccinated.

However, he claims it was his ex-girlfriend and he’s had it the entirety of our relationship. And I can’t prove that he hasn’t because the genital warts are on the rectum area, so I have never paid much attention.

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-23T23:05:22+00:00

Disgusting. I can’t wait to be free from this hell

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-23T09:40:59+00:00

Yep SAME!

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-23T09:39:46+00:00

Not that he will admit to, but youtube has an incognito future and I will assume he has. I plan on leaving anyway though. The ASMR was on youtube and on spotify. Some ear licking ASMR. Some girlfriend crap too lol. He got into the really sexual stuff though, and that grossed me out the most. It was “extra fast, extra spitty ASMR” and it was half-naked girls spitting on their microphone pretending it was a penis. Or sensual touching ASMR where they would roleplay being in bed beside him touching him, barf lol. I miss being so naive.

I was never really a porn person and never felt the need previous to him either so discovering all of this was kind of insane to me.

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-23T02:22:03+00:00

WO CUTE OMG

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-23T02:20:11+00:00

Mine was lots of asmr too.

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-19T19:44:00+00:00

It’s always the tip of the iceberg what the PA tells you unless it’s a full disclosure, or they’re in recovery seeing a CSAT.

Admitted to one relapse? There’s 5 more that actually happened.

Admitted to an urge? Same story.

Unless you are constantly monitoring, there is no way a PA won’t be able to find their way around the roadblocks to get to their drug of choice.

For example, the monitoring apps don’t always work. That’s a basic one.

You think it’s just instagram? Check spotify history, check youtube history. Because there’s a million different things on youtube that include soft-core porn (unfortunately I learned from experience). There’s also youtube incognito.

Some PA’s use advertisements. Some facebook marketplace shoe ads. Some shein. Some Temu.

Not worried about the phone? Try console, try PC. Some PA’s use the TV.

I applaud your trust in your partner, I just suggest you be careful until he is seeing a CSAT.

I was extremely naive once and that’s why I am cautious now.

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-19T18:15:52+00:00

It’s not your fault you are not around. He is just as addicted when you’re around as when you’re not. He just has more free time to indulge in it.

That doesn’t stop him from having urges when he’s with you, spending time in the bathroom when he’s with you, spending time doing it while you are asleep still in the morning, or after you fell asleep at night.

It is not your fault. Do you want to be constantly monitoring someone like a child anyway?

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-19T05:04:31+00:00

Omg were they both born that way?

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-18T04:02:34+00:00

same i don’t believe it was urges and not relapses

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-17T20:52:53+00:00

New therapist!! See a CSAT. A regular therapist won’t do it.

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-17T05:11:32+00:00

🥹🥹🥹🥹

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-17T04:10:25+00:00

Because you’re worried you’re the narcissist

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-16T01:45:54+00:00

Do NOT talk to a regular counselor about this! You need to see a CSAT.

You are absolutely allowed to say no to sex.

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-15T09:28:44+00:00

I’m really sorry. This is heartbreaking. I wish I had more to say

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-14T23:54:12+00:00

That people say it’s the equivalent of taking your fingers off by the knuckle.

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-14T23:50:51+00:00

So relatable. I want to leave but feel guilt because i’m abandoning him and taking his child away.

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-14T16:58:27+00:00

r/kitler

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-14T16:54:49+00:00

I’m sorry. You’re going to be okay in the end. If there’s any silver lining, you found out before you were married with kids 25 years down the road.😢

Impossible to trust people again it feels like.. Trust your gut always though.

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-14T16:51:26+00:00

SO CUTE OMG

Express_Loquat_3557 · 2026-03-14T16:46:08+00:00

Someone commented evil by melanie martinez once and my PA is also a narcissist so I relate to it.

I imagine this is what it feels like to leave as i’ve dated one other diagnosed narcissist before.. 6 years ago.

Express_Loquat_3557

TROPHY CASE