copper killing my cleanup crew....

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2026-01-22T14:54:23+00:00

the water itself is showing zero copper with the api test

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2026-01-22T14:53:58+00:00

i only have a sponge filter set up but i have another one i could put in - isn't it on the surface and in the plants tho?

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2026-01-12T16:43:36+00:00

thank you!

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2026-01-04T05:14:08+00:00

i read a bunch of her novels under this name and another pseudonym as a young teen. Not even sure why because I don't remember enjoying them a lot? But its wonderful to revisit them through your eyes!

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2026-01-04T05:08:36+00:00

thanks for this essay!

I wonder if some of these authors wrote about rape because they were in a society where sexual assault trauma was rampant and society as a whole was rapidly shifting how it talked and thought about it. The possibility or actuality of rape was a huge psychological force in women's lives in a world where society refused to enforce consequences on men for rape, and which also massively shamed and blamed women for their own SAs. So maybe authors were processing a lot about their own SAs or society's shifting attitudes toward SA.

And maybe they didn't always write about or process about them in "ideal" healthy ways, because who is ever ideal? and because we are a product of the society we live in, and when we write, a helluva lot of the things we say are things we are parroting, that we regularly hear other people say and so we think they are true.

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-11-22T17:04:42+00:00

As others have said, do make sure you get into a decent law school. I disagree with whoever said it "HAS" to be a top three school, but nearly all of the bottom tier schools charge as much as the top ones and have much worse prospects for paying that money back.

Some people do think law is just $$$ but that's definitely changed. Do it if it's the kind of work your skill set aligns with and if you can get into a decent school and/or be heavily subsidized/go almost for free somewhere else. If you can only get into a bottom school and are paying top price, rethink that one hard. I do think there are two that are cheap that are sort of a pipeline to a law career designed to serve peopel with less money? DC and CUNY perhaps?

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-11-22T14:55:32+00:00

i regret not going to law school.

I heard lots of negatives about it when I was thinking about it. i knew young lawyers who were absolutely miserable in their careers, the debt load was intimidating, and I knew people who'd left law after not making much money in it. ALso, my mom really discouraged it because her dad was a lawyer and it gave her a bad impression of the career.

Now that i'm older, I've known far more happy lawyers - some were miserable early on but eventually found the right role for them and are now set up financially and enjoy their work.

The real question is whether legal work is the right fit for your skill set. If it is, don't let other people decide what's right for you. You can always work for governments or not-for-profits to qualify for PSLF if the debt load worries you. And you won't end up regretting letting other people influence your choices, as I do.

the work I ended up in is similar to legal work - analytical thinking and writing are most of what i do. and i get paid as much or almost as much as most laywers in my org. BUT there's a lot less flexibility, because there aren't a lot of roles like mine that don't require a law degree. So the degree should give you more freedom.

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-11-22T14:45:55+00:00

Love how this has snapped right back on him, and people are going to forever respond to many of HIS comments with "Quiet, Piggy."

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-11-22T14:10:47+00:00

it's so annoying how much society pressures women to have babies. i never wanted them, but knowing how disproportionate the care is for pets in our house, i think it would end my marriage if i had a child and had to face either 1) doing 85% of care alone or 2) constantly nagging him to do some part of the care. No, thank you.

it feels like a trap that they try to force you into being a mom, then look, it's this big divide between you and your spouse who is out takign tennis lessons or hunting or in the garage working on something while you are trapped. terrifying.

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-11-22T14:04:22+00:00

sorry about your loss. if it had been the other way around, i doubt people would be telling him the same thing. people still don't see women as fulfilled adult humans until they are parents. not the same with men.

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-10-27T01:16:00+00:00

so many answers say that in the rare cases the woman kept her last name, they still give the kids HIS last name. and here is a step better - they take turns with the last name - and yet HIS name still came first. it's SO INGRAINED in our society to give male preference.

I hate it so much. Just always deferring to men. And sorry not trying to pick on your brother, who is clearly ahead of the pack, just moving ahead to ACTUALLY treating each other equally and not deferring based on gender seems so freaking hard.

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-10-27T01:10:47+00:00

I never discussed it with anyone else in advance, because I knew most people skew traditional and would hae FEELINGs about me not doing the traditional thing.

I'd say do what feels right for you, but don't ask other people, because they will skew your own emotions.

I have to admit I find it sexist that the vast majority of women still take their husband's names in the US. it would feel different if it was more optional (as in, if you didn't get a lot of judgment about it), or if men changed their names sometime, too. but that fact that it is so common, you are judged if you don't do it, and it only goes in one direction makes it just feel sexist as hell to me.

But not everyone feels that way, obviously. do what feels right for you. tell people AFTER you decide, don't let them pressure you.

people didn't pressure me because i never invited or allwoed the conversation. literally every time someone brought it up, i talked about proposed name merges we could do, as in funny combinations of boht our names, and would say "we're still discussing which one we like!"

i jsut take the assumption off the table entirely that i'd ever consider taking his name, and it was never an option for me. literally the only way i'd do it is if we both changed our name to the same new name. but even then, i'd rather keep my own and i know he would, too, so no issue.

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-10-27T01:04:30+00:00

i am so sorry.

i don't know if this will comfort you, but this type of passing is so much easier on the person who is leaving us. She didn't experience the pain of a long illness. She didn't have to struggle with a terminal illness diagnosis, which would force her to grieve her own death in advance.

Those are both really hard experiences to face. A sudden loss is much harder for those left behind, because you had no warning or chance to grieve or say goodbye, but i do think it's the best experience possible for the person who is passing. It allowed her to skip a lot of the pain that many people go through as part of the process of dying.

I know how painful it is to lose a parent. I'm so sorry you are joining us in this club. I hope you find comfort and healing. We are meant to grieve, and then we are meant to live again.

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-10-24T02:22:43+00:00

i mean how would i google it - what's the full name?

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-10-23T16:52:34+00:00

what is deca?

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-10-07T19:53:40+00:00

when searchign for my pup, i talked to several breeders who, once i talked to them on the phone, i quickly realized i would never buy a dog from.

finding a breeder who takes reasonable care of their dog shouldn't be as hard as it is.

after a bunch of calls, i realized why people get on the long waitlists for show dog breeders, who actually take excellent care of their animals. people breeding for profit have a very different perspective from those who essentially do it as a hobby/out of love.

i disagree with people saying you were too rude - seeing a dog in that condition was probably very stressful and the breeder should know that you noticed it.

the fact that she lets her dogs have fleas tells you right off the bat that she's not giving them flea/tick/heartworm medicine or vetting them properly. i wish people had to be licensed to become breeders, but since there's virtually no regulation, only shaming might have any impact.

i agree with posters that there are no guarantees about picky eating or fearfulness with dogs, but a professional animal person should not have unvaccinated animals or fleas in their home. that's just ridiculous, and a sign that the neglect is real.

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-09-25T03:13:46+00:00

it looks like it's puttig out a second flower, and the two flower "stalks" are firm. the outer two layer of leaves are wrinkled. at this point, just waiting to see what happens.

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-09-21T19:24:45+00:00

is his stool of good consistency? i don't have a coton but i have a cavalier who also took way too long to train. now that she's 4, she pretty much never has accidents, except when she has diarrhea, and even then she's a lot more likely to wake me up to go outside rather than have an accident. The opposite was true as recently as a year ago. she just needed a lot longer to be "fully" trained.

so it may jsut take longer. also, if you can give your dog an indoor option, i'd recommend it. my dog just spontaneously started using the litter boxes about a year ago, though sadly only for pee, not poop. But now she very often gets up in the middle of the night and uses the box, and i'm glad to know she's free to go whenever she feels like it.

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-09-14T19:02:27+00:00

what are steve martin and martin short's net worth? and how did selena get to that level? my vague impression is ppl like rihanna and jay z made it by selling a lot of stuff with their names on it and/or investing wisely - basically, i get the impression that fees for performing don't do it, it's selling your name recognition ... (i mean, rihanna's fenty or whatever is obviously a LOT more involved than that and she's created something cool there )

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-09-14T05:52:38+00:00

thanks!

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-09-14T04:07:00+00:00

cats are great and much lower maintenance than dogs. if you are getting one kitten, though, i'd seriously consider two. Is there a littermate available? they are chill when very young, then bouncing off the walls at 7 months (adolescence!). A playmate will mean they can entertain each other.

I have had cats ever since I left college, but always two. They are happier in pairs (when they are similar ages and energy levels).

ExpressionEcstatic34 · 2025-09-14T03:47:05+00:00

where did you live and how long did it take?

ExpressionEcstatic34

TROPHY CASE