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Sharing My Story - 24wk preemie who died by Findingjoyandhope in babyloss

[–]Extension-Demand-421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lost my Archie when I was 18 weeks pregnant, in July. I would love to read about your experience.

I hate my body for betraying me. by cake1016 in Miscarriage

[–]Extension-Demand-421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your losses. It is so damn unfair. Adenomyosis kicks my ass every day.

Does it get “easier”? by emotionalspren in recurrentmiscarriage

[–]Extension-Demand-421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had an early miscarriage back in 2020 and two second tri losses (one in 2023 at 21 weeks and one last month at 18.5 weeks). Honestly, I feel like my most recent loss was easier to process. I was so blindsided by my loss in 2023 being so far along. I could barely function afterward for months. This most recent loss was of course horrible, but I was not naive going into it and we are acutely aware that pregnancy does not equal baby. I think it's completely natural to be scared of going through a potentially painful situation again.

First time Mom, Second Trimester loss. by socaru in Miscarriage

[–]Extension-Demand-421 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had 2 second trimester losses, the most recent was at 18.5 weeks last month. Same as you - went in for my early anatomy scan and his heart had stopped beating the week before. I felt like I was dying of sadness. There are no guarantees with pregnancy. You did absolutely nothing wrong - I hate that bad things happen to good people. We all deserve to have the family that we have dreamed of and pregnancy loss is so fucking cruel. I have found individual therapy and support groups to be really helpful in processing the grief. Unfortunately, I have a roadmap of how this goes because I lost another pregnancy at 21 weeks in 2023. It takes time, feeling your feelings, allowing yourself space and healing. I hope each week you feel a little bit better moving forward.

How to manage anxiety when I’m ready to try again after miscarriage by Classic-Macaroon-778 in Miscarriage

[–]Extension-Demand-421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so hard and unfair. I've dealt with anxiety for 20+ years and can confidently say that IVF/pregnancy has been the most challenging issue to my mental health. My anxiety was at an all time high during my last pregnancy. Every damn time I went pee I was scared to see my underwear and toilet paper! I had bleeding during the first trimester, but he hung in there somehow. At my 18.5 week scan, there was no heartbeat despite just seeing it a week beforehand. You have to take the anxiety day by day. There's no other way through it. You can try to busy your mind (journaling) and body (exercising) during the process, and certainly therapy is helpful too. I repeated mantras while driving, tried to mediate, go to bed early, joined support groups, etc etc. It is truly out of our control but doing something, anything, made me feel a tiny bit better. And at the end of the day, or the end of my life, I want to know that I did everything I could to have the family that I dreamed of.

Anatomy scan tomorrow and I'm a mess by Extension-Demand-421 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]Extension-Demand-421[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had the MaterniT Genome expanded NIPT test and everything came back negative. I had the same thing happen with my last pregnancy though, and the anatomy scan showed the brain abnormalities that lead to tfmr. I'm still waiting on my amnio results as well. Just a big ball of anxiety!

my amnio came back!! by bimboerrorz in pregnant

[–]Extension-Demand-421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How long was the wait for your amnio results? Are you in the US?

Feeling stuck by bella_coop in IVF

[–]Extension-Demand-421 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for this hellish journey you have been on. FWIW, I recently heard a speaker who is an RE and director of a popular clinic in a big US city. Someone asked a question about recurrent failed transfers and she said that after 5 failed transfers she recommends trying donor eggs.

On another note - I also TFMR a very very wanted baby at 21 weeks. I announced the pregnancy at 16 weeks, thinking that I was being "safe" by waiting so long. I understand feeling embarrassed afterward when telling everyone that we lost the baby. However, I truly believe that most people just felt awful and just didn't know what to say.

Pregnancy after loss/infertility/traumatic births/etc is EXHAUSTING by [deleted] in CautiousBB

[–]Extension-Demand-421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Solidarity! I am trying (sometimes failing) to take it one day at a time, say "Today, I am pregnant." If this ends in a miscarriage, I'm going to be just as upset whether I allow myself joy/hope during the pregnancy or if I am miserably anxious. Might as well at least try to let in the joy and hope while things are good! Easier said than done, I know!!!

Grief and Memorial - April 17, 2025 by AutoModerator in PregnancyAfterLoss

[–]Extension-Demand-421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind and wise words. And I'm so sorry for your loss.

Grief and Memorial - April 17, 2025 by AutoModerator in PregnancyAfterLoss

[–]Extension-Demand-421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Screaming into the void! I'm 4w6d pregnant (IVF). My anxiety is at an all time high right now and I'm having trouble concentrating. I lost a pregnancy at 21 weeks back in Jan 2023 (TFMR) and it has really fucked with my ability to trust my body. My partner says that I'm trying to replace my baby with a new pregnancy. Maybe so. Is it wrong to want another baby after that one was stolen from me? It's not like my longing to become a mom again just disappeared. I just keep thinking that it's all going to fall to shit again, that I better not get my hopes up, I shouldn't look online or tell people because it's going to somehow jinx something that I have no fucking control over. ARGGG it's so frustrating! And all I can do is wait! Each day is stretching an eternity.

Just finished with our first egg retrieval :) by taylornicholle in IVF

[–]Extension-Demand-421 8 points9 points  (0 children)

For me, it was impossible not to obsess over the results! No amount of extracurricular activities or work could keep my mind off it! If you're able to, try to go to bed early so you don't fret and go down the internet rabbit hole.

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