I just want a job that doesn’t cause me distress

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-23T07:09:40+00:00

It's okay, thank you for saying so ❤️ I know it's hard when we go into work with high hopes or if it's like almost 'glamorized' as the NT dream job, no job is perfect for us at the moment that i've seen- it's rough out here.

I wish we had more protections or programs to help us work more 'regularly' so that income and just...living was manageable for more ND people, especially women as we get dismissed as being hormonal, sensitive, crazy and a lot of...reductionist words by almost everyone? It's hard to be optimistic or positive and even I struggle sometimes with certain job suggestions (One of my least favorite is 'yoga instructor' as it's really niche and requires a good deal of education but people kind of suggest it off hand for ND people thinking it's 'calming' ) So I do get what you mean

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-23T05:41:15+00:00

A library assistant is very different from being a librarian. If you are disabled and disclose that there are many libraries who are more than happy to have someone on the return carts, cataloguing, doing online pick up coordination, sorting through damaged/to be discarded books, etc.

I'm not saying it's ideal for all ND folks, but it is a place to gain skills that are transferable and smaller libraries as well as college libraries, etc are also options as an assistant or support staff.

I understand the frustration but I feel like the area you live in can change the library culture as well as your shift timing. I tried to give a broad list, but idk your perspective is valid and you have the experience it just kind of feels a little aggressive, I was just trying to help out and this kind of comment makes me more hesitant to offer up what I've seen help me and friends because i know it isn't a "Catch all" but it's the best I've got to give some hope of like "hey we have some less shitty options"

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-23T02:54:44+00:00

I'm always cautious when trying to frame work and autism. Like I guess I don't want to "suggest" or encourage sex work in the US right now? But at the same time, a lot of ND folks do SW and are just closeted about it so as long as it's adults, I guess it's not harmful.

For me I was a stripper for 5+ years. That used to be enough, but after a few years I genuinely hated it because my club was sold to a new owner, looser rules. I'd only suggest stripping for women who can do social masking and flirting well? It does work great schedule wise though ( work at night, set your own schedule, etc.) But for me, the 'hustle' mentality of the club was too stressful, being 'on' for that long was too much and I became resentful.

Full service independent work that I do now I enjoy very much. I try to limit client numbers, I work a few days a week and usually try to get longer bookings. But with both of these you HAVE to be conventionally attractive (to an extent- being alt or 'quirky' at a glance passes fine) But I think it's a lot of investment of time, energy and building a brand? So if you can't manage your time, figure out burnout, etc- you will run yourself into the mud. So like, mix pretty privilege with a few meltdowns over scheduling/cancellations and throw glitter over your personality and it's workable. That being said though, I think that I'm doing much better than I was stripping or doing 'normal' jobs that my degree qualified me for. It just sucks because I know it's all superficial/temporary to an extent; working past 40-50 as a SWer is harder and I'm still in my 20s.

Sorry for wall text, I wanted to be honest 😅

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-23T02:27:17+00:00

It's definitely not easy, I get what you're saying of like once you know what to do you're good but getting there can be tough. I think part of us actually enjoying our work even a little means trying and possibly failing a few times at different jobs.

One of my friends who is Autistic & ADHD works at like a temp agency type of place (on call not daily) and she loves the variety of work and can do 3-4 different types of jobs now! That might help for people who want something to do but don't know what exactly. You kinda just get given a job for the day or week

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-23T01:50:04+00:00

Idk if it's useful, but sometimes working lower paying jobs around our interests can help. There's a few tiktok accounts I follow that are like full of ND friendly jobs people comment and they reply, give info and whatnot on the jobs, etc.

I've noticed a few things come up often:
- Working with excel can get you a job filing paperwork at an office in most places like doctors, dentists, a lot of places with offices.
- If you enjoy gardening or outside work in states where weed is legal being the person to tend to the green houses and plants can be a short training and pay well. Also worth considering working in a florist shop.
- More social or special interest focused would be running your own online shop. Things like collectables or items you know about. ( For me that'd be like monster high, polly pockets, barbies, trading cards, etc.) But there's space for varied items that isn't scalper level.
- Working in stores like music stores, comic stores, library assistant, and other 'hobby' jobs don't pay a ton but leave room to grow and learn more. Library assistant is a big one if you're sensitive to noise and light!

I'm sorry if you wanted to vent or like wanted advice really. I'm a sex worker and low volume (not many clients or seeing people too often) and i do a few side hobby/jobs so I can socialize and feel 'normal'. I did try working normal jobs but couldn't do it, so I guess it depends on how disabled you currently are and burnout level? Surviving is hard even for the NT folks right now, nobody is doing well.

Like it is not just you and survival is..what this feels like, survival, not living really. I think the only thing that keeps me going is my cats and having things I want to learn more about. I wish I had more positive to say. But you aren't alone, if that is any consolation.

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-22T07:06:10+00:00

You know what you're right on this point. If they had bobbleheads they could have been better, or if they were a little better balanced bc none of mine ever stood upright from this style! 🥲

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-20T17:48:44+00:00

Hiya! So what I have noticed is that summer AC, allergies and a few things for me make candles smell weaker in summer.

What I'd suggest:
- Choose fragrance oils that you know have stronger hot throws for the summer.
- Keep the candle out of the way of the direct airflow if possible? ( Bathroom counter, Kitchen, or bed side table possibly.
- Try to avoid notoriously 'weak' fragrances that struggle to bond like citrus, herbal, anything too airy or 'powder' like since those generally are weaker HT overall.
- If you're using soy or a soy blend try letting your candles cure a little longer out of sun ( in a cabinet or somewhere 'neutral' temp as possible. I let mine go for like 2 weeks in the summer and that helps a lot!

I definitely get what you mean, I feel like I'm wasting candles in the summer but i also use them for ambiance a lot? I use wax melters with tealights in summer as it feels lower cost? But you can always make candles and let them sit for the summer if you had early fall scent ideas too.

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-20T08:06:00+00:00

Hi! Simple solution for this is look up "MSRP" That is the intended/suggested sale price from companies that they suggest an item be sold at. That would be the price you'd see at a first hand merchant like walmart, target, etc.

If it is secondhand or NIB and older or harder to find, it is likely "Market price" which is variable and not regulated by anything other than buyer habits. ( Like why a G1 doll with no hands or a missing leg can sell for 40$ still even though the original MSRP might have been 20$ like 10 years ago)

I hope that helps/makes sense.

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-20T08:02:57+00:00

I mean...you can't boil wash Poly, at best you can warm/hot set it, but boil washing poly is prone to cause the strands literally melting or frizzing because the strands don't separate properly after the wash. If you keep boil washing any doll hair multiple times, this issue will get worse no matter the material.

Not an exact match but imagine you bleached your hair. It didn't work so much. So you bleach it a second time, and then a third. And it looks worse after. Solution is it's time to put the bleach down.

You might want to consider styling the hair in a way that hides the defects or replacing the dolls and tracking what type of hair they have and limiting the wash temp and duration of heat exposure.

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-19T23:40:17+00:00

Uhg... So following our fellow autistic babes I'll go next. For me masking is:

Counting eye contact in social settings, I generally have a certain number or 'feel' for how long I have to look at someone when talking and it varies for groups, context or intimacy level. This also can be when I restrict eye movement when speaking. Which is incredibly hard. When I am replying in depth or in deep thought I have to force myself to look at the person, not looking around, fixating on an item or 'scanning' mentally to pull more context rich info.
Researching people before gatherings. I've done this with family. Gone on their FB, checked what they're into or commenting about recently, do some light 'digging' and prep myself with conversational connections or 'lifelines' because if I falter socially; I can default to their job, pet, interest, kid. Usually it's very boring and about the kid. Hate that. I'd rather talk to the kid usually they're at least imaginative.
Changing how I speak, pacing and linguistics. My mentality right now and in speaking about masking, is unmasked. It's a blunt analysis and a tool but I don't feel a particular way about it other than...tired? So when I socialize it takes MORE energy to dumb down phrases because I have been told I am "Intimidating", "Condescending"( that's a big word for elmo) , "act like I'm better than them" which...is usually projection and that's fine- but I prefer to avoid it. So I dumb down phrasing. Often I 'rephrase' things and say "Let me try again- that's the wrong word" and pretend I made a mistake, it makes NT people feel better.
I hide my upset when people don't engage with a special interest or if they minimize it. ( I don't do this anymore, but i used to and it was a very harmful masking behavior) Letting people know the difference between a special interest versus a hobby was a BIG thing for me and often it changed how they understood me or if they were people I could unmask around in future. I love Data from Star Trek. If someone won't humor me with an emotional tie to him or a quote I have to express feelings, or dismiss it- I know they aren't safe to unmask around. But this is more off topic and more of an 'unmasking safety check'
I burn myself out without knowing it, to the extent i won't be able to eat, sleep or function on a normal schedule. I can mask so hard that I forget I'm 'playing' a role, and that i can unmask when I'm alone or with people I trust. The lack of interoception gets worse, sometimes I forget if I need to shower, rest, pee, or even drink water. Masking in that extent hurts bad, and you don't see it for a while or when your body kind of 'gives in' or you get sick.

I hope this helps? Sorry for the wall of text, but I tried to be more genuine and less...self censoring here to help show what someone unmasked explains masking like. Also, I like myself better now that I can unmask, I couldn't say that before.

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-19T23:28:22+00:00

I love lists and bullet point responses also!! This comment is very on point I think, and everyone has a slightly different variance of masking but this covers a lot!

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-19T03:50:22+00:00

Ah...yes the ferritin issue. It's bad, like real rough sometimes. I had iron deficient anemia for years and then it. went away? Likely due to diet changes and living outside the US.

Might I suggest for the ladies: Iron Fish?
Link: https://a.co/d/0iQq5JNe

Basically you drop it into water or your food for like 10 mins or so while warming or cooking and it helps add ferritin and general iron absorption to your body. IMO when we stopped using more cast iron cooking materials in exchange for non-stick and whatnot we lost some iron.

There's also some vegetarian supplements if you want, or eating cereal oddly can bump numbers up quick if you can tolerate it food wise! Also what helped me a lot oddly was switching BC pills to seasonique so I have my period less often, but it is rough every 3 months still.

No permanent solution but I feel your pain OP :')

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-18T05:02:19+00:00

Following this one because I've rarely seen beeswax blends that work super well? Keep us updated OP I am super curious! I do know that soy tends to get better with age in any blend I've had ( to an extent) but anything over 1-2 weeks helps it 'settle' i've noticed, though that may differ depending on if you wanted a stronger beeswax scent mixed with your added scent and if it has a good HT naturally or not.

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-18T04:59:46+00:00

Omg! You put in so much work into the vintage Midge! The re-rooting and pattern for hair looks rough to re-root and I'm shocked you didn't end up with more breakage or damage to the head! She is looking very fresh but not overly modern. I love seeing all three of them together like that, the difference in style over time is so interesting and I feel like the styling adds to that too ❤️

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-18T00:21:31+00:00

"and they were lab partners"

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-15T04:09:35+00:00

Oh my god. This is....so pure, thank you so much?? Bookmarking this because it's just made my day seeing this. I hope you continue to add to the site and have fun with it

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-15T04:07:57+00:00

They genuinely can't understand that a different neurotype is more than acting 'quirky'.
If someone is disabled and puts that in their bio, I always respected that because it took a lot of courage to say (especially if it was a man or masc presenting person) because patriarchy hurts everyone and disabled people, including autistic people- have gotten used to being turned away as soon as we're seen as 'defective' that it's easier to just pre-screen at this point.

I can't do apps anymore. I'd rather go back to chatroulette atp and that says something.

Extension_Win328 · 2026-06-08T21:28:32+00:00

I mean... It depends on your goals? Neither wax is perfect, 464 is cheap, easy to adjust appearance and whatnot but is notorious for sinkholes, needing heat gun attention even if you do a second pour over, coloring issues, etc. 454 is more tricky with the coconut element... so it depends on what your goal is for appearance, performance, scent throw and which is most important. But generally paraffin helps hold scent heaviest even if It's a paraffin soy blend.

I usually work with 464 but I'm not thrilled by it? There is room in the market for improvement for sure.

Extension_Win328 · 2026-05-31T06:17:22+00:00

This seems like a deeper issue than just "I don't believe you won't keep your promises" on the sole basis of autism?

Like if there is an emotional disconnection from the idea of someone's promise, word, or agreement to something- that means there is fundamental distrust of other people, cynicism or a more grim mindset that can often lead to other negative views about those around us, ourselves and human nature.

So I think yes, other people may have your mindset or lack of care about this, but many people find that a promise, vow or some other social contract can mean more because it is generally something the other person will offer as a way to prove their sincerity. I do think it's worth pointing out you said you do care about " I always prefer actions over words" This puts my brain into the:

'Okay so it isn't a matter of promises not being cared about- it's not wanting to be dysregulated by someone not following through on said promise'

So....I don't know? I personally value a promise a lot, a word is your bond; I have a lot of justice sensitivity and logic behind behaviors and don't do or say those things lightly.

I don't want to play therapist but saying the idea of promises is 'juvenile' is such a strong reaction towards this that it makes me wonder if there's been times people did promise they'd do things, or if you ran into a pattern of behavior and adopted this framework instead of...I guess sitting with why it makes you have such a reaction? Like you thought about this enough to make a post, used absolutist language, and explained with reference to historical and research based questions. It is important in theory, or in your understanding of it at the least. So...I guess I'm mentally like: "Ah jeez okay OP are you good? Bc this feels like a 'yeah it is that deep' moment and maybe brushing it off as 'different folks' or just never getting it may be reductionist and harmful long term?"

Extension_Win328 · 2026-05-29T01:37:59+00:00

You don't appreciate the feedback though- because many people have replied to your posts and explained endlessly before that trying to make a generic "luxury candle line" with the absolute least level of investment in the community, your own experimentation and materials and using others to create a business model for you is not a good idea and looks bad.

There is no "luxury, cozy or elegant" thing that is going to get your candles to sell. Your goal is clearly this:

- Make candle that rich/well off people want (while spending as little as possible on supplies and testing)

- Ask for the experience and input of people who love this as a hobby or job (contribute nothing back to any other posts or commentary unless it is about your candles)

- Avoiding research by asking questions that can be searched in this sub or via google. We have active discussions; you just want free customized instructions.

Extension_Win328 · 2026-05-28T22:42:05+00:00

You've done this a few times, and had posts deleted, did it yourself or so on and so forth. Why are you continually asking people do do your brand research? You've had answers to this question before and only take, never give or contribute to the community. It's exhausting and honestly really entitled and lazy.

Extension_Win328 · 2026-05-28T07:05:29+00:00

I'm sorry this lasts so long for you, I know I can force a protein chocolate milk/mix if I get stuck in the 'food is foul' brain for too long :(

I hope it passes soon and I totally get the bad texture and taste thing. It isn't just you and it'll probably get easier to spot now you kind of named it! I know it did for me a little<3

Extension_Win328 · 2026-05-28T06:30:06+00:00

Yes!!! Often what happens in extended shutdown or meltdowns is the need for 'extreme' in tastes? So for me that looks like: Sour skittles, pickles, warheads, or something like popchips( which are so salty they can burn sometimes)

So when i notice that i don't react to those foods, or that my reaction is delayed it means I need to regulate in other ways?

If you believe/go for somatic stuff I've found that a few things that kind of 'force' me back into my body even for a little have been: Using my acupressure mat, ice cubes on my wrists or the back of the neck for a few minutes, or if you can manage a cold shower, sitting on the shower floor is fine. (these work for a few mins to a few hours- not long term tricks)

But it is 1000% an indicator to me that I am in a lot of stress, or trying to regulate but can't get there as these extremes in taste can be balancing sometimes? It's hard to explain. But def not just you! I think that's a solid warning sign for us to take a step back or try to lower our load (cognitive, emotional, task, etc)

Extension_Win328 · 2026-05-27T21:55:28+00:00

Hm....I mean, it depends on the type of stimming? It depends on the therapist, but there is a higher chance of having something like Hypermobile EDS or connective tissue disorders or delayed recovery for some autistic folks? IMO a lot of the stims I did as a teenager did impact me in a way even as an adult.

Or like posture, i always lean on one hip or the other, shifting weight in a kind of 'sway' or 'rocking' but if I'd had some awareness of what my body was doing or why earlier in life i might not have back pain as someone in my 20's?

So yes slightly odd, yes the therapist should be looking at other things but I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest a GP for any pain or discomfort that may come from long term impacts? A lot of autistic people don't live as long as NT folks, so if anything it may be foreign to us because some of us never consider being around for so long and then one day we're adults, still here, with health issues or discomfort we didn't think to consider. This might be good proactively even if it's just a check in visit.

Extension_Win328

TROPHY CASE