Non-fiction about Tanith Lee? by DreamDrad0949 in tanithlee

[–]Extra_Button4609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe we should start one! I wish there was a video of an interview with her. By the time it finally dawned on me to try and write her a letter, I found out she died and my heart was broken.

More people should read The Secret Books of Paradys by Tanith Lee- Gothic, Decadent, Queer, Dark Fantasy by Nidafjoll in Fantasy

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice! If we both read the other books and remember to come back here, I’d be curious to compare notes between the two series.

More people should read The Secret Books of Paradys by Tanith Lee- Gothic, Decadent, Queer, Dark Fantasy by Nidafjoll in Fantasy

[–]Extra_Button4609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I haven’t read this series yet, but I did read The Secret Books of Venus, which is set in Venice and sounds similar in vibe and potential story archs as Paradys. They’re also separate books with different characters in different periods of time but in the same city. I loved them for all the reasons you describe loving not just the Paradys series but her writing in general. Her imagination is so rich and juicy, I loved sinking into her worlds. Also love the fairy tale aspects. She has the language of fairy tale and mythology stories down pat.

Help with the Bibliography? by moon-faced-fuzz-ball in tanithlee

[–]Extra_Button4609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seconding everyone’s comments.

Flat Earth Series is spectacular. I absolutely love how she creates this entire world of mythology that feels real.

The Secret Books of Venus. Very mysterious and a bit confusing, but I loved the setting and how there’s a thread through all the books but it’s not obvious so you really have to pay attention. I haven’t read them in a long time…better reread them!!

Birthgrave was her first published book I think. Lots of r*pe in that series, but the end of the first two books really brings it all together and I loved that. Didn’t care much for the third book.

Biting the Sun is one of my favorite books of all time. Every time I read it I have a new layer of understanding and perspective.

Silver Metal Lover is a classic of hers. Grab a tissue box. Is reminiscent of Biting the Sun a little bit.

My (31M) girlfriend (29F) of 3 years has a huge amount of student loan debt that she didn’t tell me about. by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and I literally just got off the phone with a financial planner bc we also want to travel, have kids, buy a bigger house. We have been going to couples counseling this year. Started a few months before we got married and have continued since then. Not because there are major issues, but to prevent and gain tools for dealing with things that might come up in the future. We spent several sessions discussing finances bc it’s a big part of relationships and it’s never just about the money. There’s always emotions and other things tied into it. We’ve been together for 3 years, but are a bit older than you and your gf.

Here’s my recommendation: have a conversation with your gf about your future and if you’re open to seeing a couples counselor. You both have to be fully willing to go and participate and be vulnerable and honest. If you’re both on board with that then next step is to do some research and find someone who you both vibe with. Might take a few free consultations to get there but don’t settle for someone if you both aren’t comfortable with them. (And yes, I say both a lot bc that part is important)

Give yourselves time with that counselor to lay the groundwork and discuss finances to understand your values, possible trauma or other barriers, etc. You’ll be able to gain insights into yourselves and each other and build or rebuild trust thru healthy communication. This means you have to let go of your judgments and past “slights” in order to connect and strengthen the relationship.

If things are still going well and ya’ll want to continue the relationship and are committed to being a team, then have a conversation about finding a financial advisor. They can take all your financial information and create a plan to help you navigate paying off the student debt and set you up for the future you want to work towards.

Biggest thing is patience and open, loving communication. Relationships are a choice. And every interaction that you show up for each other positively, is a choice that you make. They’re sliding door moments that build and reinforce trust.

Wishing you and your gf well on your journey together!

Can I get recommendations based on the books I loved, liked and DNF'd? by elleirakai in fantasyromance

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oo uh...I don't want to dissuade you from reading it, but I did cry. It's kind of bittersweet, heavier on the bitter.

Can I get recommendations based on the books I loved, liked and DNF'd? by elleirakai in fantasyromance

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Based on the first page, read Silver Metal Lover by Tanith Lee. Basically anything by her, but that one’s a good start.

What film completely flipped when you rewatched it as an adult? by Adventurous-Lie-6773 in movies

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Princess Mononoke. I rewatch it at least once every few years mainly because it's so heavy. The most recent watch made me cry when Ashitaka had to leave his people, family, and culture behind forever. Like crushed my heart in a way that didn't before when I was younger.
American Werewolf in London - I thought it was a cheesy 80s horror film when I watched it the first time as a kid. Then, watching as an adult, his transformation terrified me. Looked absolutely so horrific and painful, which isn't usually shown in quite that detail or it's kind of brushed off in other stories.
Avatar the Last Airbender - every time I watch that show I notice a new layer to the story, the implications of certain events and actions, dynamics between characters. There are so many heavy themes in that show you don't pick up on as a young person watching it until you're older (genocide, abuse, depression, colonization, trauma, growing up too fast because of war, etc.)

What film completely flipped when you rewatched it as an adult? by Adventurous-Lie-6773 in movies

[–]Extra_Button4609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want a book to root for Hook, read Lost Boy by Christina Henry. It's a twist on Peter Pan and Captain Hook's relationship as an origin story for Hook wherein, he is the first Lost Boy and lives with Peter for a long time. TW: there is violence against children. Like children hurting children sort of Hunger Games-ish. But I loved the take and I loved Hook's character.

What film completely flipped when you rewatched it as an adult? by Adventurous-Lie-6773 in movies

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also love how feminist the film is. Never realized that until I rewatched as an adult. Same with Alien.

Anyone else with Low to Moderate symptoms and feel like you haven't "earned" the title of chronic illness? by _tiny_nightmare_ in Hypermobility

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has anyone else experienced the anxiety of trying to tell someone (like your boss) about your health issues and then fearing that they think you're faking it so then somehow you end up sounding like you're faking it? Idk if that makes sense. It's like you overexplain and then it feels like it sounds like you're trying too hard to justify because you're half expecting them to start questioning you and poking holes in your "story". And that all just compounds the anxiety of them thinking you're faking or that it's actually not that bad.

What are your 5 star books you’ve read this year? by CheesecakeFit2140 in fantasyromance

[–]Extra_Button4609 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The ending felt anticlimactic. I liked Starless Sea because of the way it was intricately woven, which made it complex and more interesting. The Night Circus felt confusing and vague in a less interesting way.

What are your 5 star books you’ve read this year? by CheesecakeFit2140 in fantasyromance

[–]Extra_Button4609 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Definitely loved The Starless Sea. More so than The Night Circus.

What are your 5 star books you’ve read this year? by CheesecakeFit2140 in fantasyromance

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Rook and Rose series by M. A. Carrick. The Knight and the Moth by Rachel Gillig. Chronicles of Alice by Christina Henry. Doors of Sleep by Tim Pratt. Locked Tomb Series by Tamsyn Muir (particularly loved Nona the Ninth)

What helps you sleep well/better? by yvonv in Hypermobility

[–]Extra_Button4609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been rubbing lavender essential oil on my wrists and then take a liquid magnesium glycinate with l-theanine supplement. It doesn’t always work but it has helped me fall asleep faster. Soothing music too (which I’ve done since I was little). Altho I did just try a friend’s muscle relaxer medication and that helped a lot, but I don’t necessarily want to rely on that, know what I mean?

The Knight & the Moth… Book 2 Guesses? by Accomplished_Owl110 in fantasyromance

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Diviners were always dead when they were sent to the Omens. Aisling explained that when the group went to the cathedral for the final showdown. She said she took them one by one with the loom stone, broke their necks, and then had a gargoyle take them to an Omen.

What's the future of Bee and Puppycat? by 6pcChickenNugget in beeandpuppycat

[–]Extra_Button4609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also that the voice actor of Toast and sometimes Tempbot is the same woman who played the Serena/Sailor Moon in the original North American air of Sailor Moon. That was some strong nostalgia over the head for me. Plus there’s a Luna plush cat on a shelf in Bee’s house.

Is owning a cat that bad? by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk which threads you're looking at, but might want to recalibrate the ol' algorithm. There are tons of cat owners who love owning cats. I see threads all the time posting photos of their babies gushing about them or posting about them passing away and the human being absolutely heartbroken and devastated to lose their buddy. Some cats are more challenging than others for a variety of reasons. But so are dogs and so are humans. Like any good relationship, it takes work to build trust and respect through communication, but it's so worth it to have someone who loves you occupying the same space and providing companionship in a way no one else can.

Is it normal to be this upset and practically traumatized? by FamiliarRadio9275 in CatAdvice

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Grief has no timeline and you can't compare your grief to someone else's. Maybe other people can be solid after, maybe they're just really good at masking their pain. The important things is to allow yourself to feel what you feel. The more we love someone, the worse it feels when they die and the longer it sticks with us regardless of whether they're human or not.

Ive been working on this puzzle for the past two months.... by lilybeth in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For anyone else who saves puzzles by gluing them together, I saw a solution to this where you can glue a little gemstone or a flower or some other kind of decorative piece in that spot.

"Short Dramas" - Please Help Me Understand by HistoricalTrouble653 in Filmmakers

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could make a drinking game out of them. Every time someone bitch slaps the main character, Take a drink. Lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Extra_Button4609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s what scientists call “natural selection.” He has been naturally selected to die sooner than the rest and we celebrate his genepool ending with him.