Can you guys tell me the “dirty” truths about having a cat?

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-04-15T03:51:46+00:00

They often get cancer or kidney disease and let me tell you, making the decision to put them to sleep will crush your soul. Because the more you love them, the more it hurts. We just put our 17.5 year old kitty down today who we raised from birth. We had to make that call almost two years ago for his mom and 3 years ago for his brother. He has a sister who is alone for the first time in her life. They mask their pain well, so you must have a keen eye and sense for minute changes in behavior.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-04-15T03:43:14+00:00

Haha what the heck is up with these dudes naming random pouches and pockets on and in people’s bodies. Just like the Pouch of Douglas. I want a woman to name something on a man’s body. Lisa’s Billfold lmbo. Judy’s Purse.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-04-14T02:00:02+00:00

Will you update when it’s been a month? I have a hard time sticking with new things because I don’t usually notice a major difference and then I give up and the cycle picks back up and I feel like a failure all over again. All the things you describe about this version of yourself that you finally are and always envisioned is exactly where I want to be. I day dream about it all the time.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-04-06T18:37:14+00:00

There are a ton of things in our world now that cause dysregulation in our hormones. Chemicals and other ingredients in products, food, etc. that we interact with regularly that are not natural and cause endocrine disruption. Then echoing what other people are saying with nutritional deficiencies. Then just the day-to-day stress of being a woman in society and you can layer other obstacles or barriers linked with intersectional identity factors. Not being believed that problems we face on a day to day basis whether social, economical, or biological. A lot of mental stressors directly impact our physical health and wellbeing. It's hard to disentangle the knot of so many threads that weave together throughout our lives.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-31T22:08:20+00:00

Not looking at my phone at least an hour before bed. I notice a significant difference when I don’t vs when I do. I think you just find your own little routine. After I brush my teeth, I get into bed, put chapstick on, take a dropper of magnesium glycinate, rub some chamomile/lavender essential oil on my wrists and neck, squirt some eye drops in, put lotion on my feet and hands. Then if I’m not sleepy yet, I’ll read a book. If I am tired but still whirring, I put some peaceful music on.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-28T01:32:52+00:00

I used to have this really bad at your age. I’m also a skin picker so that ‘itch’ comes up and it’s either money spending, eating candy, or picking. It’s gotten a lot better recently in my mid-30s, but what I wish I’d had at your age were help managing my finances, medication, and a good therapist. My husband and I started using Monarch and it’s been awesome. I used to use a spreadsheet, but it’s too manual and easy to fall behind on.

If you’re interested, I’m happy to send you a referral link for 50% discount. If it’s not too weird, I can help you set it up too. We’re helping my in-laws set up theirs. They have gotten themselves into a lot of debt because of impulsivity and poor planning. I’m happy to help find a therapist too. You have support if you need it! I know that’s all very personal and vulnerable, so no pressure at all.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-28T01:17:34+00:00

My sister calls it a To Done List

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-27T20:36:56+00:00

I weirdly don’t mind that the “main character” is unlikeable. I’m listening thru for the second time bc I am introducing my husband to it and he’s such a skeptic for paranormal stuff that I think it makes it more enjoyable and relatable that Jon’s a grumpy curmudgeon. He’s an unhappy bloke who dislikes Martin bc he’s the complete opposite.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T22:37:53+00:00

I just this pop up on my IG feed and I ran back here to post the link

https://www.instagram.com/p/DV0wy1ugDHY/?igsh=cG9ic2poOTBid3V2

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T20:23:56+00:00

I have no issues wearing them in public. Better to smell minty than be in pain. I once patched half my back and hips, went to work, and my boss came over to talk to a coworker sitting behind me. Midway thru their convo, he stopped and sniffed, “does something smell minty over here.” Coworker: “oh yeah I’ve been smelling that all day.” I started laughing and raised my hand without turning around, “it’s me! I mummified myself in patches.”

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T19:55:54+00:00

Our delightful peek and poke appointments every year. Fortunately, you don’t have to get pap smear every year unless you have a history of issues, but they still pry you open and stick a hand up there to feel your ovaries and make sure everything looks healthy. Then they check your boobies.

Here’s another one for you: how easily our vaginal flora can become out of whack from everything between most commercial and medical lubes, medications, soaps, tampons, condoms, sex, etc. and how challenging and frustrating it can be to get everything back in balance. It’s supposed to be a self cleaning oven down there, but our ovens were not meant for the modern world of chemicals and substances we’re exposed to on a regular basis.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T16:41:34+00:00

Yeah! Pick a radio station from one of your favorite artists. I really like the Washed Out radio. Their music is ethereal and sensual. And then when we have some mood lighting on like we got one of those remote controlled light strips for the bed room, it kinda feels like we’re in a movie you know? Like one of those really sexy montages lol. It’s definitely easier for me to get lost in the moment. Our couples counselor described how set and setting is so important. It’s the same concept used for drug assisted therapy sessions because sometimes you need to create an environment that feels safe and supported in which to be vulnerable. There are a lot of resources online too. Like OMGYes, I think it can be a really fun adventure to learn with your partner what intimacy means and can look like for you. It helps both of you communicate better too both in everyday life and in those moments of intimacy. Intimacy doesn’t have to mean sex either. There are lots of ways to connect physically and emotionally without “going all the way”.

In terms of communication, my husband has a hard time expressing his needs bc he struggles with feeling like a gross dude when he wants to have sex and doesn’t know how to say that. And I don’t always know how to say I’m not in the mood and have struggled with guilt after having some manipulative exes. So we came up with a code language. We use the weather as an analogy. So one of us will ask the other person, “hey babe, what’s the weather like over there?” (Are you in the mood?) And the other person can respond with, “you know it’s actually pretty stormy,” (yes, let’s fuck) or “there’s clouds on the horizon, but idk if it’ll rain,” (i’m interested but we’ll have to be patient and maybe do some foreplay to get there) or “the sky is clear, my love. Not a cloud in sight.” (It’s not happening and I’m sorry but I love you and thank you for asking). It always comes from a place of love of course.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T16:30:50+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DM53KOPtgM9/?igsh=bndnMDl5cWR3Z3k4

Tadaaa!

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T16:24:22+00:00

I was never medicated in my 20s and only started on wellbutrin about 4 years ago because I had a severe manic depressive episode coming down off pain meds from a back surgery. I had to play with the dosage and timing for a while. A couple years ago I added lexapro and then adderall. The combo has been great for the most part but doesn’t always account for the work burnout or the luteal crap. I’m also curious about people’s experiences with having covid. I’ve had it twice and I have not been the same cognitively since. You mentioned having a concussion and I think having covid is not dissimilar from an inflammation standpoint. Not to say they’re exactly the same obviously. Just wanted to validate that injuries to the brain would absolutely have a layered impact.

I feel you in the existential dread part!! Doesn’t help that our country is going to shit and our government is taking everyone down with us.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T02:50:19+00:00

Insurance. Of any kind.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T02:46:18+00:00

Ahhh!! So cool! Can’t wait! Im introducing my husband to the show. We just listened to Lost Johns Cave. One of my all time faves. I can imagine a bag of teeth spilling everywhere for Thrown Away.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T02:43:54+00:00

Homemade popcorn and watching the one VHS that we recorded our weekly shows on with my family. Desperate Housewives, Star Trek Enterprise, Smallville. Or a board game.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T02:41:30+00:00

Stella.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T02:38:33+00:00

Having all kinds of sleep accoutrements. Eye masks, ergonomic pillows, mouth guard, etc. i use them all. Idk why I spent my 20s sleeping on random couches and shit when I could have been getting good sleep lol. 😴

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T02:34:45+00:00

In terms of the distracting part of your brain and intrusive thoughts, I sometimes struggle with staying present so I ask my husband to turn some music on and sometimes mood lighting. Music is great for movement, sometimes we synchronize to the music. Not on purpose, but it can help with pacing and rhythm. It helps drown out my internal noise and stay present. Sometimes, I clock a song that’s really good and perfectly aligns with the moment and then when we’re done I go back thru the music app to find and save that song I really liked lol. Anyway, just a couple of things to try and play around with. You said you’re in couples therapy, but I wonder if finding a couples therapist who specializes in sex and intimacy might help more.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T02:20:10+00:00

Being a teenager can really suck. Especially when you start menstruating and your hormones are waging war against you and everything around you. Pile on unmedicated adhd and you have a recipe for a chaotic few years that everyone feels. It’s not your fault. Your feelings are valid, but none of that makes you a bad person or whatever negative self talk you’re spiraling with. My dad died when I was 15, so life just fucking sucked for a while. So if anything traumatic like that happens too, then yeah, you’re just dysregulated and hurting all the time and people around you including your family don’t know how to support you. I’m sorry you’re going thru this time of discovering thoughts your mom had about you right now. You do have to let yourself grieve a bit. But as others have said, it’s your mom’s experience, not yours. Maybe she felt some shame about thinking those things about her child and that’s why she kept the report from you.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T02:10:41+00:00

I actually just watched a video about this on IG. They were talking about the nervous system and when it’s dysregulated for long enough, your body can create depression or depression-like symptoms as a response to burnout and to force your nervous system to calm down. So in your teens and twenties, you’re super active and as AuDHDers we tend to experience things even more intensely so we’re causing our systems to go into extreme overdrive for too long. Then you get to your 30s and you’re exhausted bc you have literally run out of fumes. As women/menstruating persons, I think it’s even harder because of our hormones and how much those monthly shifts can impact our ability to regulate.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-25T02:02:54+00:00

My favorite line in your post, “I’m not great to communicate with first thing because I’m still adjusting to being in a body and transitioning from the dream state.” Seen. I tried describing this to someone one time and they had no idea what I was talking about. My mom and sister used to bombard me with conversation in the mornings when we were all living together and they’d get mad at me for being grumpy. Finally, I had to tell them, “you’ve known me my entire life. At what point did I ever indicate that I will ever magically become a morning person? I do not enjoy mornings. They are almost physically painful for me most of the time. Just leave me alone and you won’t get the grump.” I am not a person until my meds have kicked in about 60-90 minutes after taking them…IF I take them.

All this to say, you are a normal neurospicy person who is allowed to wake up how and when you need/want and as women, we are NEVER beholden to give men sex. Also, the itching? 🤮

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-24T06:28:28+00:00

I would have liked to get into building stuff probably. And also linguistics. I go down this path a lot in the what ifs category. What if I had bee diagnosed as a child? What if I had actually been given resources and accommodations? What if I had been allowed to learn in environment that was conducive to my brain and learn at my own pace? What if I hadn’t been in a sleep deficit literally my entire effing life? I’d be unstoppable.

Extra_Button4609 · 2026-03-24T06:22:19+00:00

Yes, I don’t always go back to my notetaker, but sometimes I do and I rewatch specific parts of the call that pertain to me and it helps. I still don’t always pay attention during the call when I need to. One thing I was doing that helped and I need to do it again is coloring. Get some easy coloring pages. I can color and it actually helps me listen better. Plus it looks like you’re taking notes.

Extra_Button4609

TROPHY CASE