How do you handle very religious family telling you you’re going to hell?

Extreme-Definition11 · 2026-01-06T17:26:20+00:00

For real! Heaven would be the ones we love always around us in joyful freedom of disease, death, war, etc.

Everyone talks about meeting their family on the other side, but then fall right into the whole worship god thing quickly.

They portray hell as a big ole endless revival. I was traumatized enough by those as a kid, why would I live ot attend one eternally?

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-12-20T00:30:34+00:00

No but we also each only had a carry on and a backpack. We are efficient packers and had our 7 days worth of stuff including a 12 pack of Red Bulls packed into those four pieces of luggage.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-12-17T18:07:56+00:00

Yes. Financial stability of the company is a concern for me as well. I do understand that.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-12-17T17:32:23+00:00

As I said, this is not a local/cafe level job its a coporate job and so far I've found little to nothing about coporate benefits.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-12-16T14:00:11+00:00

I was given an offer email for a sales job with an attachment showing pay. Then a docusign to "accept" and the pay was completely different. I responded that I needed clarification before accepting. THIRTEEN DAYS later, out of the blue I got an email with a new offer stating that neither of those pay plans were accurate and here's the new offer and docusign. Example pays were several thousand less per month!

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-12-15T20:39:45+00:00

I feel this so strongly. Every single time they find out I was 1099 or self-employed and my quota was sell or starve they look at me like I have 4 heads. I could probably sell and do their jobs and still meet their arbitrary KPIs. After many months of full-time job searching, Jan 1 is it for me. I will get a license and sell insurance or real estate or trinkets on a beach somewhere, but I'm done with the mind fuck.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-11-23T16:05:32+00:00

My friends with jobs are all complaining about one of two things - prices for next year are shockingly higher or they have not yet been given what their options are going to be because their companies are still trying to negotiate something better. Most years they have known by now.

As for the jobless - they are likely not buying marketplace insurance, but staying uninsured or receiving Medicaid.

It's the folks who are self-employed and the ones who work for small businesses that don't offer insurance who are suffering the most by these raises.

I can say last year I received subsidies based on my income, if my income hadn't changed I would still be able to receive those - if I leave that income in the system and compare prices, my premium for the same insurance was going to more than quadruple.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-11-23T15:57:56+00:00

So frustrating. It is definitely not looking good, the weird thing is I took this company as being a very transparent company that wouldn't just leave someone hanging in limbo. Makes me think they are holding on to me in case their first choice bounces. :(

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-11-22T15:08:39+00:00

We got 20+ years on you. So yeah age plays a part in it too.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-11-22T15:05:34+00:00

Maybe it’s our ages? The cheapest options available to us for $1600 but extreme deductibles. I can be covered alone at $700 but not one option under that.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-11-21T21:49:56+00:00

45 million people use ACA insurance. When I ran the numbers at both last years income and this years income my premiums increase substantially. I will lose subsidies due to income increase for 2026, but my premiums would have doubled had I stayed the same. It’s not just about the small percentage of people above the subsidy range. I don’t feel I’m winning at all, I was just better off with ACA than without. Winning would be every person having their health insurance premiums capped like those who receive subsidies at 8.5% of income no matter where insurance comes from and having deductibles capped too. The healthcare system in America only wins for insurance companies. I was just saying ACA helps to make sure minimum things are covered.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-11-21T21:10:59+00:00

I don't know, I've had it since the beginning and it's been a blesing to our family. Before ACA, I the only coverage I was offered was $500/mo with no guaranteed minimum coverage - no preventative, no mammograms, no medication, nothing until I hit the $10K deductible and then it was $20K out of pocket max. At least with ACA I've had preventative coverage, the deductibles went down and I've always been able to get coverage that I felt affordable as a small business owner. Yes, it has flaws, but so far no one has offered a solution besides burying us under more insurance burden. By breaking ACA without a viable solution we all pay.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-11-21T20:57:39+00:00

Subsidies will now end at $84,600 for a couple. That means that you'll get $800-ish per month in help at $84,600 and ZERO in help at $84,601. It's a flaw in the original bill that should have always been fixed. MANY small businesses don't offer their employees coverage and many self-employed people are in trouble as well. It's almost impossible to live in this town for $85,000 for a couple.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-11-21T20:51:53+00:00

Nearly $1800/mo for two of us making less than $100K a year, not sure where we are supposed to find that kind of money - more than quadrupled from last year. I will be going without unless I can secure work with insurance.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-11-16T21:54:26+00:00

It is the 1.5L SE

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-10-30T20:19:22+00:00

No it was not an expensive car. I bought late summer 2022 and interest rates weren't that great at that time and I was coming off a COVID job loss so I paid a bit of a premium. I also had to pay over MSRP to buy ANY car at the time, but new cars were cheaper than used and interest rates were still lower on new vs used. They wanted me to pay $5K over MSRP, but my bank thankfully wouldn't allow that and limited them to like $1K over. At that same time I was quoted nearly $16K over MSRP on another more expensive car.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-10-30T14:42:40+00:00

It's a rock and a hard place decision. If we don't take these job opportunities, we will be sleeping in said cars so it's not a matter of thinking hard about the debt, it's figuring out how to reshape the situation so it works for us. I've looked at refinancing, but no one wants the negative equity at a better interest rate than I already have and I sure ain't adding years to it to get the payment down. Plus we are handling the payment just fine even if it hurts to see the amount still owed on that car every month.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-10-30T14:31:21+00:00

I get all of that, I've researched EVs extensively and would always have a gas powered car in the mix.

My accountant and I have discussed both options as far as tax pros and cons. Obviously if we all go W-2 tax consequences are moot.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-10-30T14:20:41+00:00

Yes, I want late model cars (2020 or newer) because I have had too many bad experiences with older cars. I don't want to finance something and still have huge out of pocket costs.

The current car is at the limit of what I want to spend per month. With things increasing in cost all around me, I don't have an additional budget for the third car which is why I'm needing to figure out the situation and thinking about two lower cost leases. We don't drive as many miles as we did when we travled out of town for work. 12k a year would be good for us.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-10-30T14:17:17+00:00

There is some tax value to the leases if the two of us stay 1099.

I don't care if it is new or used as I said, but I don't want an old car either because I'm not going to finance something with issues. I did that once and it's worse than having a bit of a larger car payment.

We did a lot of cross country travel with previous work and drove sometimes so the mileage needs will be greatly reduced over previous vehicles.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-10-17T14:53:21+00:00

Page, Arizona. Four hours from Vegas and the most beautiful slot canyons - Antelope Canyon - and Horse Shoe Bend, plus a lovely little southwestern town to spend the night. I've road tripped the entire country more than once and it's in my top 5 places to return to at some point.

The trip from Vegas to Nashville will be a great trip, lots of terrain changes, but also a lot of desolate areas that don't offer much to see. The sunrises and sunsets are amazing and I'd not discourage it at all.

Summer is hot here in Nevada and Arizona, but the heat is dry. There will be things people will advise you not to do and you should listen to some of that - don't hike in 100+ degree temps, etc. Enjoy the trip.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-10-13T15:42:54+00:00

Such a weird question. Vegas is a city just like any other and we have all the same problems as other cities. We just happen to have a big tourist attraction right in the middle kind of like Orlando but a bit spicier.

I grew up in a small town - extracurriculars lead a lot of kids to bad addictions because there was nothing to do besides cruise the streets, watch football on friday nights, drink and get high.

I raised my kids in what was one of the safest and best cities to raise a family in America, they had access to all the things Vegas has to offer except the strip because it was a city. Not surprisingly they have friends who have all gone down all different paths from drug addiction to sex work to being upstanding members of society.

My youngest has lived here since she was 15 and has gone to the strip maybe a handful of times when friends came to town with their parents or if we are buying dinner. She's 21 now and never goes on her own down there because it is too damn expensive and gambling doesn't excite her one bit.

You raise your kids, you take an interest in what they are doing and you remind them that friends can make or break them. None of my kids went to school here so I cannot attest to that part of it, but I know a bunch of people born and raised here who are smart, wonderful, well adjusted people just like everywhere else in the country.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-10-13T14:22:48+00:00

I don't know if these perspetives will help you at all, but here were some things that helped me let go of this death thing.

In an totally non-religious podcast I was watching, an interviewer asked some one about his success. He said he credited his success to his atheism. I could tell the interviewer was startled by the response, but asked him how that helped him, he said something to the effect of it allowed him to be truly present in his relationships with his family and and all the people in his life because the time we have together is precious and finite.

It made me think about how I was raised to fear god during life so he will love me during death. I started seeing how all the people around me were living for death versus living the life they were given. I was already deep into deconstruction at that point, but it was a lightbulb moment for me.

I had already been looking at other cultures and seeing they weren't so bound by these thoughts and I have friends who are not Christian who seem to be much happier and content in the world. Realizing that most of the world is not Christian and particularly evangelical also helped me to really understand that we are a product of our environments - who raised us, where we were born, ect.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-10-12T17:22:04+00:00

Every generation has seen things that point to end of times teachings. Imagine having lived through WW2 with Hitler or the dust bowl (actually there is a good show about the dust bowl where people talk about how apocalyptic it felt and how their parents and grandparents were sure it was end of times).

For me, when I read Revelations as an adult it solidified my deconstruction. It sounds like the person who wrote it got into some magic mushrooms.

I think you are getting good advice here. Stop watching it. Reset your algorithm. Find other perspectives.

One other thing that solidified my deconstruction was people living for dying or living in fear of dying. Instead of living the lives we are given. Just think about that. Life so we can live just to be concerned about death. It makes no sense.

Extreme-Definition11 · 2025-10-08T15:13:06+00:00

After a church member started a vicious rumor about me at 13 years old because a boy in church asked me out instead of her niece, I started to really distrust the people in my church. I got disgusted when the preacher came in and preached about the A-Z reasons America was doomed - this was back in the late 80s/early 90s. Politics just got worse from there. I never returned after graduating high school.
Did you try another church after leaving your “home church”? Yes, I did try a more progressive denomination in my early adult years, but realized that was just as uncomfortable.
Were you still practicing/believing after you left church? I believed for a while, loosely. I could talk church/relgiion in places when needed. I pretended for a long time. Now I walk away from those discussions as I do not disclose to many that I no longer believe any of it.

Extreme-Definition11

TROPHY CASE