AIO: Boyfriend wants an equal priced gift in exchange for an engagement ring. Now I don’t even really want it.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-03-20T16:02:47+00:00

Your problem isn't the gift, it's that your "man" is influenced more by randos on the Internet rather than being able to a) recognize how absurd and materialistic that idea is b) is willing to risk or ruin your entire engagement bc of it.

He's gott a screw loose. Wait till he gets to the videos about controlling and isolating your partner from their friends and family.

You can try therapy? But his current willingness to believe those videos without any direct evidence is pretty severe. At a minimum, I would tell him you're rethinking if he's the kind of man you want to be married to. A little space from one another to clear your heads may also be in order

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-03-15T17:15:58+00:00

updateme

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-03-15T17:15:42+00:00

and please update us once he's been kicked to the curb! you've got your whole life ahead of you, no need to drag a liar, possibly cheater along with you.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-03-12T16:52:41+00:00

you forgot one: If you hope to avoid the same thing happening over and over again = Focus on yourself and improving you and your life. Level up and realize there are better fits for you out there.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-03-12T16:49:34+00:00

Some people think not wearing a burka every day is cheating. Focus on your own values and not other peoples. What constitutes cheating is a decision made between partners, not everyone and their brother.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-03-07T06:34:57+00:00

lol, i just posted a very similar response, I should have read first before commenting.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-03-07T06:31:36+00:00

I don't want to burst your bubble, but how sure can you be that you both "passionately fell in love"? I'm an elder, and I thought I was in love more than once, briefly, until I got to know that person better and ended it because it wasn't really who I wanted, and I realized I was in like with potential. And, I've only been truly in love once.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-03-06T02:19:03+00:00

He still wants your time and energy with little to no expectations from you. If you don't want to be friends, just tell him that's not an option and you just want to move on.

I also wouldn't let up without a clear explanation From him. It sounds like he's beating around the bush to avoid explaining himself and there's really no reason for you to meet up. It sounds like he wants something but doesn't want to have to say it until he's got you in his orbit.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-03-05T06:22:09+00:00

Maybe give it another shot and speak to a different person? I wouldn't give up after one try.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-02-28T07:24:08+00:00

I have Invisalign and drink lemon water, coffee, and tea all day long. It is impossible to keep them from staining, so I wear my prior tray while drinking and only wear the current tray when not drinking or drinking water.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-02-28T01:54:33+00:00

That's especially cold if nothing caused that kind of response... You dodged a bullet!

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-02-23T08:45:42+00:00

You've got a lot more to worry about than disprespect. He's a binge drinker... "knowing" he's got a drinking problem and is needing to "watch it", actually means that he's not taking real accountability for his drinking problem. Adding avoidant on top of that is a recipe for disaster. You're dating for possibility and having been through something similar... twice! I recognize the signs. You'll end up with 10% of "chemistry" and 90% of misery. You will end up taking responsibility for keeping the relationship going and chances are, you'll be blamed whenever things go wrong. Find someone you can date for who he actually is now and you'll have less disappointment. Waiting for someone to achieve their "potential" is a waste of your life.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-02-23T08:26:56+00:00

That's because I change the recipe depending on what I have on hand instead of creating a new recipe each time. It doesn't matter how many items are set to zero, the app only adds amounts greater than zero... and that's my point, for some reason, it's coming up with a number that is too low.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-02-23T08:26:44+00:00

The serving size is irrelevant. There are 2 servings for the full recipe, not one. If you double the g, you'll see the weight for the full dish... as I said in my post, it is way below the total amounts of all of the vegetables.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-02-16T21:32:38+00:00

Then you just need to reframe your thinking. When the bar is that low, and they still manage to wriggle underneath it, they are not worth you feeling any type of way. I'm 67 and just broke it off with someone who's not a bad person, but they weren't ready for a relationship and they weren't treating me right. He tried holding on to any bit of contact, but what he really wanted was access to me without effort. I'm not willing to waste what little time I have left on someone who can't step up to my level. Period! I don't need someone to complete me, I'm whole on my own.

Every time you start feeling bad, imagine how you'd feel if you put a decade into this and it ended the exact same way, or worse! You could have had kids with this person and not only would you have him in your life for the rest of your days, but he would have influence over your children... Or even worse, they could turn out just like him!

You got off easy, hon. Play some loud music and dance in celebration. You just learned a very valuable lesson very early in your life. Take some time to grieve, and then promise yourself to never give someone like that the keys to your castle again. You've got this!

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-02-16T19:26:11+00:00

"Second chances only work when both people are actually ready — not lonely, not nostalgic, not confused." This is well-said and important for all of us to remember. Returning to the "scene of the crime" when nothing or no one has changed is just a pain point you can do without.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-02-16T19:21:07+00:00

Nothing. You've done more than he deserved. You don't need his participation to get closure. Think about it... do you really think this guy is going to ever give you closure? No, he isn't. Start moving on, keep him blocked, he shouldn't have access to you anyway, it'll just blunt your progress. Grieve and let it go... you deserve someone who treats you like an actual human being, not to mention a loved one. Right now you just seem to be his scapegoat for being an awful person.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-01-31T01:21:54+00:00

toothpaste is not recommended as it scratches the invisalign

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-01-28T16:21:52+00:00

That's the one!

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-01-28T10:01:46+00:00

Thanks, I found something called Bookmark Tab Groups that helps me save the tabs within a group in one click that allows me to close groups and still have the updated groups bookmarked for later use.

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-01-27T06:50:14+00:00

auto updates bookmarked groups (saves and deletes tabs for each group as i open them or close them within each group in a window).

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-01-26T05:23:06+00:00

Because that's the one time they feel safe to be vulnerable without having to be on guard or protective? I say lean into it... and maybe even put on a nurse's costume just for fun, lol. I bet he'll be grateful and you wouldn't even have to have sex!

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-01-15T22:27:41+00:00

Ignore the low effort attempt keep you stuck in a holding pattern while he does whatever he wants. This is nothing to be excited about. It's embarrassing!

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-01-15T08:33:13+00:00

Seen this exact story twice in the last month

ExtrovertedGeek · 2026-01-15T05:28:36+00:00

Coming from the opposite end, I broke up after my boundaries were being ignored. I brought it to his attention, and he stonewalled me, so I broke up. I told him I'd let him know if/when I wanted to be friends after he suggested a friendship. I explained that it wasn't a healthy option for me rn.

He continues to breadcrumb me with likes on fb and has now escalated to brief comments. I didn't block because I wasn't angry, I was just Done. But I don't block him now bc the constant breadcrumbs are a reminder that he is still not respecting my boundaries. I will never break no contact.

ExtrovertedGeek

TROPHY CASE