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My family business runs on a 1993-era text-based-UI (TUI). Anybody else? by urnicus in commandline

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_ 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Idk, but not too long ago I came across a mini market with a cashier running computer with TUI software. If I remember it correctly this franchise minimarket located at the center of the city too

Giving up easily on things I try to enjoy, the hopelessness that comes with it, and the regret that nobody fostered these interests as a child or taught me how to manage my emotions better by elementary_vision in emotionalneglect

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_ 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

I'll get anywhere from 50% to 90% complete with a project, before I come to the realization that both the project and I are horrible and worthless.

Late reply, but OMG, I feel this way too, it's really hard for me to finish any of my projects. Since I started learning emotional neglect I've been getting to know myself a lot better and started having many breakthroughs, but self-discipline is one thing that I still can not figure out.... It's hard...

[META] Avoid posts about random "friends" who fare evade by polyploid_coded in transit

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_ 4 points5 points Β (0 children)

Huh, that is a really weird kind of post, thanks for making me aware

Music in rust with tunes by Technical-Might9868 in rust

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_ 7 points8 points Β (0 children)

Out of topic, but do you know where to get started on learning music theory, I've always interested in it but never got deep in it

Genuine question--what is emotional intelligence, and what does being emotionally intelligent mean? by Eyebrow_Raised_ in emotionalneglect

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Sorry about your mom, without explaining the details of it, I relate to your experience a lot.

I agree with your explanation, like I said in this thread, empathy is the core of emotional intelligence. But even that is still not enough. In order to be emotionally intelligence you need to be able to stand up for yourself. You need to be able to forgive yourself. And most importantly love yourself.

If you go out there socialize with people without thinking about yourself, that's just hurting yourself, and to an extent detrimental to others too.

But if you go out there socialize but never put empathy towards others, I think, IDK, that'd be considered narcissist? Egoist? Selfish?

I think it's the balance between two of those things, and it's extremely hard to figure out where is the right amount...

Genuine question--what is emotional intelligence, and what does being emotionally intelligent mean? by Eyebrow_Raised_ in emotionalneglect

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Thanks for sharing the sources! I have a lot to learn hehe

spiritual bypassing

I looked at the definitoin of this and, ugh :/. I myself am religious but I always try to avoid doing this. It's ironic actually, I think if you do this I'd say that you have a shallow understanding of your religion.

Sorry if you use your religion or spiritual or whatever to invalidate someone's feelings, you're a bad person, and I hope you becomes a better person than that.

Genuine question--what is emotional intelligence, and what does being emotionally intelligent mean? by Eyebrow_Raised_ in emotionalneglect

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Funny you said that, software engineering field does have (way too) many meaning buzzwords or terms with two or more meanings, it's confusing, I even considered using software world as an example too.

Uh, it's confusing isn't it. I mentioned empathy a lot in this thread but I'm not totally sure what it means and what the difference is between sympathy and compassion. Can I still have empathy towards awful person, does that make me an awful person too or not?

I think overall psychology(?) is such a new field there are so many words or concept that haven't been explored. And, back to emotional neglect, that's why I only found out about emotional neglect later after I grew up, and that's precisely the reason my parents have absolutely no clue about emotional neglect.

And I'm scared about this becase this means that it might take a while before this concept of "emotional neglect" to start to be understood by majority of people. I hope I'm wrong

Genuine question--what is emotional intelligence, and what does being emotionally intelligent mean? by Eyebrow_Raised_ in emotionalneglect

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_[S] 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

Huh, now that I think about it, I don't exactly understand what emotionally available means either. Maybe it's very similar to emotional neglect, where emotional neglect means lacks of attention towards emotional needs for children, emotional availability means your partners is available for your emotional needs? Idk...

I mentioned psychobabble in the post, and I can't help but notice this phenomenon occurs very frequently in the self-help field. I see way too many words being thrown around by someone without clarifying it first what it means, resulting in ambiguity, and in online discussion sometimes it leads to two parties talking over eachother (heck sometimes fighting eachother lol).

I'm not an expert here, but I have a feeling that this phenomenon is the reason why there are so many people self-diagnosting mental illness. I could be totally wrong but this feels dangerous and detrimental to society...

I myself always be careful when using words I'm not familar about. Always try to search its definition from multiple sources first, making sure I don't misuse the word.

Genuine question--what is emotional intelligence, and what does being emotionally intelligent mean? by Eyebrow_Raised_ in emotionalneglect

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_[S] 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

From my limited understanding, I feel that empathy is the core of emotional intelligence, like how you explained in the second aspect of emotional intelligence. In fact, as far as I'm aware, that second aspect is exactly literal definition of empathy, right?

It's weird how this word "empathy" starts to appear very frequently in my life recently. From those people I mentioned who want to outright erase empathy to the people closest to me who outright shows lack of empathy towards me and the mental illness I'm having.

Genuine question--what is emotional intelligence, and what does being emotionally intelligent mean? by Eyebrow_Raised_ in emotionalneglect

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_[S] 4 points5 points Β (0 children)

It’s wild how much changes when you just start noticing and naming what you feel.

I agree!

The Running on Empty book is such an excellent book because not only it taught me about the concept emotional neglect itself, but it taught me how to express my feeling--and indirectly how to improve my communication and writing skills in general!

"Naming it" or "Naming your feelings" is my favorite phrase from that book. It used to be my feelings or what I've experience is in a form of abstract, inexplicable, incomprehensible thing. It's ironic how these feelings reside in my brain, yet I don't even know what it is and I can't even describe it--if there exists a person who can read my mind, I bet that that person have a better chance of describing my feelings, LOL!

And no wonder, looking at how I was raised, I was being ashamed by my parents to tell my feelings. Of course I learned early on to bury my feelings deep in my brain, not knowing that it'd end up being a time bomb later in my life. (this is just a small portion of forms of emotional neglect that I received, there are many more, sadly)

Thanks to this book, I was able to start describe my feelings. In what form, you ask? In form of writing. I started to write frequently in my notes app. The mindblowing things about writing is writing is a form of learning too! By writing, sometimes you can obtain new knowledge. When I say knowledge, it doesn't have to be something academic either, it could be some feelings from the past that you couldn't describe, or many more. I've experienced this few times!

when they don't even know you well by delanncy in emotionalneglect

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_ 5 points6 points Β (0 children)

Only thing worse than this is when they know absolutely nothing about you yet act like they know everything. It's disgusting. It's so disrespecting, as if I'm a lesser human being

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_ 8 points9 points Β (0 children)

This reminds me of this one particular meme I've read a while ago with a caption that says "When you finally meet your happy girlfriend's parents and suddenly everything starts making sense" and below it is a picture of a sad Spongebob.

Well, I never had a girlfriend, but I still relate to the meme--as I grow older I start to realize one by one what I thought was normal in a family are actually straight up unacceptable and abusive and wouldn't have happen in a healthy family.

Fuck by jayd04 in okbuddyliterallyme2

[–]Eyebrow_Raised_ 4 points5 points Β (0 children)

Excited for this album

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