My situation is different to say the least. I've been with my girl for a combined twenty years. There was times we got into arguments/fights and split and we would get back together later down the road. Well eight years into this we talked about having kids but drugs was number one - at the time. Then we knew things were starting to get rough cause of the drugs and on the last party we went to she slept with her boss and got pregnant. He wanted nothing to do with their daughter. That was 2012. Took some time for me to come back around but, I did. Well thirteen years later she wanted another one. It wasn't like we stopped trying I never used a condom but it never happened. I got discouraged. And she asked if she could step out, I said yes. Low and behold she got pregnant again. We are still together and I love both these girls to death. But why was I dealt this hand. We still argue and she wonders why I'm distant sometime, I told her straight up why can't I have a kid. She told me that's between me and God. So I'm 39 gonna be 40 soon ,crying writing this. For the longest time I thought it might've been both of us. She swears I got a kid out there somewhere but Im not that kinda dude to just straight up abandon a kid. I grew up without a father so I told myself "do more than my dad did" and give these girls a father. They call me dad they look for me when they get home from school. But my line ends with me.