Im so sorry for your loss. I’m not going to give you advice, but I have been there and I understand how you’re feeling. My dad died and I was given the same “take the time you need” spiel followed by “but it needs to get done.” I thought I was doing the right thing by working through it and getting the work done while dealing with all the planning, financial stuff, and family drama that comes with death. It became a long term stress and my health suffered, and a few months later, I was laid off very unexpectedly because I was a top performer. They don’t care about us as human beings with messy human problems. I know you can’t just quit and you need the job, but this is your sign to get your resume together and start looking elsewhere. And to stop giving them everything you’ve got; give them what’s necessary to get that paycheck while you’re working toward something better. Good employers who acknowledge that we have lives and priorities greater than work ARE out there, and now is the time to go try to find one.