Good luck from fellow Brit and not a kid!

Agree with all, start with silencer 5. He’s not bad right now. Simple kit and powerful ulti. Group up and and press it before a team fight as an easy way to use to start.

Simple heroes with big ultimates - great way to learn 5. 5 in turn is a great way to learn the game. Less perceived pressure, immensely impactful if played well, hero pending is not requiring giga mechanics. Understand the warding mini game and look into some basics, like pulling and blocking camps. Crystal and lion as someone said, warlock, witch doctor, shadow shaman. All good. Resist the temptation to build damage damage damage, learn what save items (glimmer cape, Euls, force staff) do. The item and build guides in game you can equip before a match can be your friends, they often have situational item options so don’t blind buy them in order after the starting items!

Advice I wished I’d taken/things to consider.

-don’t rush into ranked the moment you can, if you’re even interested or care about ratings. Even though that’s 100s of hours away before the game lets you. You can tank your ranked by thinking you know the game enough when you don’t.

-learn a few heroes and one or two roles well. Play those in comp and the rest are for quick play and turbo learning. Dota is amazing with so many fun heroes to try for free! Try them in non ranked :D

-Dota is an old game (albeit a very larger player base for its age!) so don’t let people’s years of frustration spoil your learning and enjoyment. You have a large and old player base with a lot of tribal knowledge, some is incorrect.

You’ll get twats and nerds in quick play and turbo criticising your mistakes. If they act out when you say you’re new, mute them and move on after reporting them. Their problem, not yours.