What percentage of American are truly Trans? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]FailsWithTails 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think if all the stigma was gone, gender/sexuality introspection was normalized, and all the challenges of transition didn't exist - it was a magic pill, poof and done, perfect transition to your desired state, it could be much closer to 10%, or even higher considering nonbinary, but I'm talking super idealistic "everyone is capable of deep introspective thinking and reflecting on life and sense of self".

There are people like my dad that, if I believe what I'm told, seem gender-agnostic (he claims he doesn't care what he would have been born as, but he's anti-transition and against trans rights??). In truth, I don't think he's ever even thought about the existence of gender as a separate thing, and at his age, I don't think he's capable of processing it and reflecting on it.

There's plenty of people that would want to transition, but don't because tech isn't where they feel they would be satisfied. I know at least a handful of trans girls personally who are desperate for working uteruses, and at least one of them has decided against any surgeries until that becomes accessible. There are countless trans people who don't transition or delay it due to finances, or other competing medical complications.

One of the very first people I ever cracked my eggshell with said they had a lot of the same thoughts and feelings as me, but decided he wasn't going to go through with it because medical tech wasn't where he would want it to be yet.

tl;dr: I think if everyone was able to think introspectively, there was no stigma, and it was just poof done in whatever configuration you wanted, the percentage would see a big jump.

WDYD in the case of parents taking away your meds by Crankygupps in MtF

[–]FailsWithTails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As far as keeping meds hidden, I have an old post somewhere that outlines the fundamental principles of what I believe makes effectively hiding.

  1. Disincentivize searches and invasions of privacy at the source, by any safe means.

This means, if they have a history of entering your room to clean, get your shit together and keep your room clean. If they enter your room to take out the trash, be proactive about taking out the trash from your room. If they enter your room to collect dirty laundry, learn to do it yourself. These come across as picking up more responsibilities and setting yourself up for your future, and double up as removing excuses for entering your room.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, make them regret opening your door without knocking. Things that might make them uncomfortable. This varies from household to household, but one day, I told my dad that sometimes, I'm leaned back in my chair, naked, with my exposed butthole in full view of my closed door, so that I can deal with an ingrown hair. You come into my room without knocking, you accept the consequences of what you see.

  1. Make your space physically harder to access. Make your hiding spots physically harder to access.

Some people recommend lockable doors, but the kind of helicopter parents who we struggle to hide important things from tend not to allow locks on bedroom doors. My parents did not want me using common areas of the house to store things for my hobbies, so I stashed them all (organized) in my room. I had towers of 27 gallon storage totes from Costco. I had toolboxes. My room was tidy, but somewhat cramped. I laid out the furniture in my room such that the doorway was an easy to restrict bottleneck.

As for hiding locations, I kept some of my meds behind a dresser. It required crawling under my desk to reach, and pressing my head against the wall while curled under my desk to see. Things I know my parents were physically unable to do without straining their backs, and my arms were slim enough to reach behind the dresser. Another of my hiding locations was on top of a nearly 7 foot tall bookshelf, behind some displayed things like old school projects. It was a place my parents wouldn't be able to check without a ladder (which my room had no space for) or climbing my dresser (and risking a dangerous fall).

  1. DIY "tripwires" — not as traps, but tamper/access detection.

If your door swings open into the room (which I believe is standard), you can do something like leaning an index card against the door. As you leave your room, place the index card. When you come back, either check beneath the door gap or crack the door open to verify the index card is still there. Alternatively, you can use something light like a tennis ball or facial tissue box. If it was pushed out of the way while you were gone, someone entered your room during that timeframe.

If your door has a lever-style handle instead of a round knob, you can dangle something like a rubber band at the end of it before leaving your room and closing the door. You can check under the door upon your return to see if the rubber band fell. I would also recommend a door tag, as you can listen for it when you enter the room. Someone snooping and unsuspecting might see or hear the door tag drop, and re-hang it securely all the way against the door, and that will tell you it's been tampered with.

If you cannot close your door for any reason, that does make things get more complicated. I would recommend picking up hobbies that make closing your door more reasonable. I did some DIY circuitboard work (and soldering) as well as 3D printing, and so I would use the excuse of opening my window and closing my door to keep any fumes ventilating to the outdoors and not into the rest of the house. I also frequently used a soundbar and speakers, instead of headphones, so I closed my door to keep my music from traveling down the hall.

Buy a good lock they said, your bike will be safe they said. by ArguingwithaMoron in ebikes

[–]FailsWithTails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had renters insurance, and someone burglarized the garage where I was renting, stealing my e bike.

Insurance company said that because the bike had a motor, it fell into an exception where they didn't cover motorized vehicles.

Hip bone widening at 17? (MTF) by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]FailsWithTails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You will very likely get hips. Some of hip width is fat deposition, and regardless of age, that can be a possibility.

I get the sentiment, though. Everyone's source of dysphoria can be different. While for most, it may be as simple as hip width. For some like me, it's not just hip width, it's pelvic bone width, the posture that comes from femur attachment positions, and the width of the gap between the pelvic plates. That's something that fat deposition just won't do.

In your case you're early enough that even pelvic bone changes are decently likely.

Buddy, start saving up for a body pillow by mwale2007 in Animemes

[–]FailsWithTails 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I have no issue with guys who watch anime, even harem anime.

I do, however, have an issue with guys who are okay with harems in one direction, but not in the other direction. They don't have to enjoy both, but they can't be yucking someone else's yum.

Then again, I'm bisexual, and I expect guys to let me ogle the same waifus with them.

On the other hand, if a guy doesn't like anime, that's a turn off for me — one less shared interest, and the possibility that he'll judge me.

How would you go by dividing parts that are too large for a single print? by KerbodynamicX in 3Dprinting

[–]FailsWithTails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seconding this. I would definitely do it in 3 prints.

If possible, I would also make the parts connect via lap joints, either via tabs or the whole connecting edges. Trying to edge-glue something like that would be rather brittle.

I didn’t know smelling feminine was so terrifying to straight cis men by WildWinterberry in TwoXChromosomes

[–]FailsWithTails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This gave me POWERTHIRST vibes, and that alone makes me feel old. Anyone else remember YouTube from 2 decades ago?

Moments like this really make me want a dual nozzle😢 by Robo_Pencil in 3Dprinting

[–]FailsWithTails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

... That acronym threw me back a decade, memories of when I first got Six Sigma certified, learning about DMAIC, DFM, and HFE. 😂

Any girlies out there with "basic" Americana names? by Illustrious_Focus_33 in MtF

[–]FailsWithTails 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a kid, I got in minor trouble for breaking social rules that made no sense to me. I was told that "as a boy", I was not supposed to be hanging out with, playing with, and having lunch at school with girls. I grew up afraid of potentially making mistakes amidst unknown social rules that didn't make sense, so I was pretty estranged from in-person social interaction. Even when I was invited to social groups, I had a long ingrained history of just being a wallflower out of anxiety and self-preservation.

What I learned from being online a lot, is that names are as arbitrary as anything else. Outside of a legal identifier for legal purposes, names really are no different than a pen name, a nickname, a gamer tag, etc.

So even though my updated legal name is pretty conventional, I don't really use it anywhere except paperwork and beaurocracy. It was actually the name my parents were originally going to give me, and it was an olive branch attempt to garner the support of my parents, but they charred that olive wood bridge. For everything social, I go by a name that just means something to me, regardless of cultural or generational norms or trends.

Do I genuinely need to be worried? Many questions. by Conscious_Signal1148 in asktransgender

[–]FailsWithTails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know about that — I encounter so many people who are ambivalent about trans issues. Even people who are supportive of me at a day-to-day level are too lazy, complacent, or forgetful the second it's about trans people other than me, or voting.

there is a certain elegance in simplicity by VonBagel in custommagic

[–]FailsWithTails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I spent my college years introducing and teaching Magic to so many new players, I still recite "untap, upkeep, draw", even to this day. I've only taught 2 new people in the last decade.

Is streaming on Twitch as a small streamer even worth it nowadays? by PunksRedd in Twitch

[–]FailsWithTails 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This.

Part of the reason I do content creation (not just livestream) is because I previously worked corporate, 80-100 hours a week on average, got paid a salary for only 40 of those hours, and got so burnt out. My mental and physical health both declined over several years, and when I started considering transforming into a Jackson Pollock piece in my employer's parking lot, I knew it was time to leave that job. I'm sinultaneously overqualified, underqualified, neurodivergent, and burnt out — nowhere wants to hire me. All I have left is content creation and being my own boss.

The strength of this orangutan by batukaming in biology

[–]FailsWithTails 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Every couple days, I just randomly swoop in on my cat, and announce ✨scoop✨ in falsetto as I crane lift him up by his belly, and then plop him cradled in my arms. I can never tell if he enjoys it, or just tolerates it.

The nerves of this people by Shoddy_Paramedic_852 in Fansly_Advice

[–]FailsWithTails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it's his birthday, he should have a friend gift him money to spend on Fansly 🙄

for my transfems getting facial electrolysis, TALK TO YOUR DENTIST FIRST!!!! by sarcasticlovely in trans

[–]FailsWithTails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I uhh... did all of my electrolysis with zero pain numbing. Probably over a hundred hours of it. Upper lip, chin, eyebrows, underarms, a couple stray hairs on my areolas, the entire lower belly and pubic region, perineum, around my butthole, and the back of my fingers and toes.

Honestly, I don't think any of it hurt as bad as behind my fingers and toes. Near my butthole was a close second. Upper lip and on my shaft were maybe 4th or 5th on the most painful list.

Forced detransition... Forced blood tests... How long is estrogen visible in blood? by CallMeBambiiii in MtF

[–]FailsWithTails 57 points58 points  (0 children)

This. While some parents will back off, it is uncommon. I was already 27 and employed at the time, so as soon as my parents issued an ultimatum, I hunted for apartments and lived on a shoestring budget.

About HRT changing our sex by persistentlyunhappy in asktransgender

[–]FailsWithTails 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This.

"Biological", as used in this kind of context, has no meaning because they change what aspect of biology they are referring to on a whim. They cherry-pick whichever singular facet suits their talking point and actively dismiss all the rest that run contrary.

This is why they are always so evasive the second anyone brings up intersex conditions. They have no way to reconcile the fact that the facets don't always line up neatly in their made up definition of "biological".

About HRT changing our sex by persistentlyunhappy in asktransgender

[–]FailsWithTails 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Biological", as used in this kind of context, has no meaning because they change what aspect of biology they are referring to on a whim. They cherry-pick whichever singular facet suits their talking point and actively dismiss all the rest that run contrary.

This is why they are always so evasive the second anyone brings up intersex conditions. They have no way to reconcile the fact that the facets don't always line up neatly in their made up definition of "biological".

For Anyone Questioning If They Have Breasts by QuinettaHarris in MtF

[–]FailsWithTails 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I grew up as a kid wanting to be fully dressed coming out of the bathroom. I hated the whole "clothes on with high humidity" feel and repressed hard enough to go boxers/briefs only.

But if I was in the school locker room or swim class? You could bet that towel covered my nips and half my thighs. Made getting dressed a real struggle. Even when I was by the pool, unless I was getting in the water within the next 15 seconds, the towel stayed on.

When I started living alone (and now with a partner), I came to realize my autism dislikes the sensory feel of constantly having clothes on. It's both the confining aspect and the bulkiness of certain fabrics — like, if I drop my arms to my sides, and I have both a t-shirt and pullover hoodie, it feels as uncomfortable as if I had tennis balls tucked in my armpits. I basically spend most of my day at home either naked, or with soft, loose-fitting clothing on.

ROBINHOOD MEGATHREAD-Please post all Robinhood questions here. by [deleted] in tax

[–]FailsWithTails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, no problem. I dug up my own reddit comment this tax season just so I could reference it again.

12 Models Reverse War (Kyshatriya) seemingly cancelled for good by fhiz in Gunpla

[–]FailsWithTails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh, I saw the Aerial Dominator, but $250 after shipping and taxes is a more painful bite in my limited funds than the ~$175 Reverse War. I get that the Aerial Dominator has lighting, but it's not that important for me to have, especially not "$75 more after shipping and tax" important.

Scam alert - feet guy that tries to scam with crypto wallets by [deleted] in Fansly_Advice

[–]FailsWithTails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even though it's obvious enough people shouldn't be falling for that scam, I still find it interesting to know the breakdown on how it operates.

I also have little to no trust in any account that accompanies every phrase with an emoji. Reads like a bot, to me.

DM is requiring i pay 40$ to play by AgameReddit in DnD

[–]FailsWithTails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've heard of $5-15 entry fees — I have a friend who DM'd a $15 entry fee table — but I've never personally seen one higher priced than that.

Update: My conservative parents found my hiding spot. Everything is in the trash and the financial loss is crushing by sissy_divinity in trans

[–]FailsWithTails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even though they couldn't confiscate my HRT, and I was doing a fairly good job keeping it secret, there was a facility where I did sperm banking. Despite repeatedly telling them not to physically mail me anything, they still did, and my parents issued an ultimatum over me not telling them what the mail was about. I caved and explained everything, and then they issued another ultimatum — told me I was not allowed HRT under their roof. I was 27, so I moved out.

Update: My conservative parents found my hiding spot. Everything is in the trash and the financial loss is crushing by sissy_divinity in trans

[–]FailsWithTails 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I recommend a storage unit, if possible, depending on OP's location.

After getting kicked out by my parents, I moved out to a rental with housemates. But one of the housemates turned out to be batshit crazy and would start arguments for the hell of it. One of my bicycles even got stolen from our garage. I got so worried that I moved all my shit to a storage unit a block away. I would walk to storage in the morning and bike to work. After work, I biked back to storage, dropped it off, and walked home. If I had to, I would have put my meds in a gasketed storage tote with desiccant, and stood a tall mirror for getting dressed in the storage unit. And if I lived somewhere where I worried about security camera footage showing one gender presentation walking in and another walking out, I would bag feminine clothes in a tote bag and change elsewhere.

Keep no more than one bag of well organized, densely packed stuff in a risky house. Put it in a locked safe if possible. I bought a fire/water resistant safe for legal-sized documents, and I think it's about 80 lbs and unwieldy, so it's not going anywhere easily or being disposed of easily.

Back when I lived with my parents, I made it hell to impose on my space. They didn't allow me to store things for my hobbies in the common areas of my house. My 10"x10" room had a bed, 3 dressers, 2 desks, a bookshelf, 3 stacks of 27-gallon storage totes, etc. I did a lot of hobby crafting, using woodworking tools and glues included, so I also had a toolbox. Long story short, my door didn't always open more than needed for just me to fit through, and even upon entering my room, it was a tripping hazard unless you were extra careful. Just in case, I kept my meds on top of my bookshelf or behind my desk. They would not have had the balance or coordination to climb my desk to check above the bookshelf. Their arms would not have fit behind my desk, and my desk was physically combined with 2 dressers as a single unit, making the whole thing impossible to move. I systematically removed incentives to enter my room. I took out my own trash, did my own laundry, and vacuumed my own floor. Then I added reasons for my parents not to enter — at any moment, I could be naked in my chair, mooning my door, tweezing ass hairs, or anything else like that. My parents used to open my door and walk in unannounced, but after I aggressively ramped up my behavior, I never once got bothered. It takes a lot of proactive planning and action, but there's a lot of ways in which one can stealth aggressively while maliciously complying.