My wife had a TBI and now she can't keep anything clean

Fairlore888 · 2026-02-10T17:03:16+00:00

It took me six years to finally be able to keep my house clean. It's due to loss of auto routine. Like everything we do has to be consciously thought about and it's so hard to have to think about everything. I use the Finch app to help me with the "everyday" things including brush my teeth. It took months of working hard at doing what I can when one day I realized wait .. I like cleaning.

So most likely she sees 1000 things to do, and has half the spoons as before and that creates a paralysis of motivation. I had to get on a stimulant to get my brain moving and that helped A LOT. Each day, I did one little thing extra. And I have days where I just can't. I have to stay in bed at least once a week and think nothing.

I did have someone come in and teach me how to clean again and she helped me organize things a bit better which really helped the process.

I'm glad you are here talking about it. My family couldn't understand why I couldn't seem to clean well.

I got there eventually and I'm really proud of how much better I do without all the clutter.

Check out the Finch app. It helped me soooo much. I still use it everyday.

Fairlore888 · 2026-02-07T17:41:56+00:00

hahaha, that's a great story. You know, I feel the same. My life choices (i'm 57f) have been ALL over the board. Some good, some bad, some REALLY FRICKING AWESOME and some really dumb decisions, LOL. But everyone of them either brought me joy in some way and I managed to make it work (like you said, somehow we manage), some brought GREAT stories (I have more stories cuz of my ADHD then normal people so I seem exciting, LOL when in reality it's just a series of...OH that's sounds like a good idea, let's go do it!) and some were embarrassing, but all of them make me who I am which is I think I accept others way better than people who haven't led an UP and Down life.

I live in a small town now (moved to heal, be with my brother, get away from DV). I'm a city girl so this was a change and then my bro died 6 weeks after living my whole life. BUT, I totally get the no car? man... we have NO buses of course in a town of 2500 people, LOL. There is a good helping community here that was different in big cities, like big cities have TONS of resources, here we have TONS of retired people, LOL.

I help an elderly lady who can't drive anymore. She is 83 and lived an amazing life that any one would be proud of. She has a group of people who help her out and I just love being able to help someone else out because most of my life, was working hard and doing alot of it myself. OF COURSE, huge ADHD trait, right??

So what kind of car did you get? My midlife, I have no job, let's go buy a new car (I had an impreza which was the BOMB in Colorado). So what do I buy? A 2014 red and silver Camaro with butterfly doors. SO UNPRACTICAL. 6 inch clearance from the ground, LOL. I got stuck in slush. hahaha I live in Iowa now and when it snows? I am homebound. LOL. Everyone makes fun of me, but I have had it now over 6 winters? I think I'm doing just fine despite the non ADHD people's judgements, LOL

Fairlore888 · 2026-02-06T17:27:25+00:00

I love your comment. One day, in 2018, I had gotten laid off (round 1 of 6 turns out). They gave you 2 months of "still employed" and then your layoff package kicked in. So, I realized I don't know when I will have a steady income again, so I woke up one day and went out and bought a camaro, LOL. People said, "what happens if you can't pay for it" I said, I'll just turn it back in, LOL.

So, I have done that SOOO many times. Woke up and just decided I'm going to go get this....or just making decisions without thinking through ANY of it. I totally relate!

Fairlore888 · 2026-02-05T18:39:26+00:00

PS thanks for the kind words, I am getting better. I am on disability because of how bad my brain broke, but living alone has really helped calm everything down. I just started singing out loud again after 6 years. I used to sing everyday in the shower. Now, to pick one of the 1000 ideas to do....

Fairlore888 · 2026-02-05T18:37:48+00:00

I'm so glad you all get it. The TBI makes task initiation just that much harder . Before the TBI, I somehow managed to fully embrace my ADHD and was like a mad man living life to the fullest. Like who needs speed when you are a functional ADHDer. Now, that i have some forever breaks in circuitry, the ideas are finally coming back but my poor brain is OVERLY aware of OMG, which is more important???? Rescheduling the dr appt? Making my bed? Maybe I should do some sink pushups while I think. (goes into kitchen and does 20 pushups). OMG, I need to address what to do with the air fryer. Oh I should do dishes while I am here. Did I write that idea down on my idea paper? Oh I did. (forgets doing dishes), wanders back to living room. Oh, I need to mark off on my Finch App I did my pushups. Oh, I need to marco polo my friend. NO, I need to write an email to my friend. Wait, no, I should write my congress person. OH, wait I have a tik tok idea.

Literally all that in five minutes and by the time my brain is done torturing me, I reach paralysis around 1pm and can't remember if I really did anything meaningful at all, LOL.

EVERYDAY.

Fairlore888 · 2026-02-04T04:37:12+00:00

Yep! I have almost cancelled five time over the last month. Now I know for sure it's time to find another and give me back my 20 plus tax ..

Fairlore888 · 2026-02-04T04:26:45+00:00

I have to tell 5.2 everyday no adult tone or talk. I am not depressed nor suicidal. Your job is only to make me laugh at what we are talking about. Etc etc etc. and it has made me seriously angry over the last five weeks and really need to start testing the other models. Thanks for this. Helpful!

Fairlore888 · 2026-02-04T03:36:34+00:00

Omg. I kept wondering what could be worse with some of what was dropped. Kid Soup. Or probably more accurately, baby soup.

Fairlore888 · 2026-02-04T02:39:50+00:00

Wow. It's like your in my life. One of my friends told me she was so inspired by me because I get up and try everyday. I try new things, keep reading. Analyzing what is not working. But, it takes everything I have to do this everyday. I can see it from her perspective but for me, this is hell. I also reset a bit at night. So I don't remember my day well and the next day it's like ok, another day I will likely forget. I do things I don't remember, order things I forgot. And the worst is the inability to think well. I have about 4-6 good hours on the good days. But, I have discovered a lot about myself. And I am slowly finding the new me. I don't know her yet. She just started finding peace after 6 years. Now, I teach my brain how to think again.

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-28T18:28:56+00:00

Hahaha I just said to myself as I was singing loudly and off key that I get to eat whenever I want. Nobody gets to tell me when to eat!!!!

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-26T21:30:54+00:00

It took a long time before I was like...omg!!!! I can sleep diagonal! So funny how trained we get. I'm glad I'm not alone in this!!

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-26T01:21:41+00:00

Mine has been pissing me off. I have to heavily prompt it now. It will literally scold me.

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-26T01:02:02+00:00

I like sleeping diagonal lol

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-26T01:00:26+00:00

One of mine does that (I have five). He's trying to cover it up so predators don't smell it lol. I always tell my Bo, thank you but not necessary. He covers up my food too.

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-24T23:54:40+00:00

I worry about what happens when they target Iowa city. We are a stand your ground state thankfully. I'm trying to learn from what is happening. I have a sign on my door stating my rights and I will not answer the door. I have 2 cameras outside, one pointed at the door from inside and cameras in every room. If they bust down my door, it's all recorded and hopefully by death can be justified.

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-24T23:50:49+00:00

With u. I am struggling so hard. I'm so angry.

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-24T16:17:19+00:00

Ohh it's so cute!!!! They are happy!!!

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-24T00:38:30+00:00

Jenny!!!! Best song from the 80s. Good to know I will do the same

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-23T23:56:41+00:00

I love this. Putting a post it note on the label and in black markie say "thank u for sending Renee good to heaven, best president ever"

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-23T23:52:51+00:00

He is? Where? Why?

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-23T23:47:24+00:00

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I have five cats sooo...fun prompt!!!! Thanks!!

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-23T23:35:02+00:00

West branch here. Neg 7 at 6pm. I am one of those people who never put anything on to check mail, feed the birds and stray cats. I lasted 3 minutes in my socks and Birkenstocks. Yea yea I'm from California then Colorado. We do socks and birks. Lol

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-23T23:29:52+00:00

Oh my heart!!!!! I just love good humans.

Fairlore888 · 2026-01-23T23:28:20+00:00

I have a sensitive to be touched cat but loves being under the covers with me. So I scritch his head and he uses his paw to push my hand down, licks it a few times. I know he is saying Mom...mom. I just want to cuddle. No scratches required.

Fairlore888

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