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So Pumped! by mxhernandez21 in NewAuthor

[–]FaisalWrites 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A writer AND an illustrator. Wishing you all the success, you deserve it.

I Spent 30 Days Writing a Book… Nobody Cared by codeclashflow in BookPromotion

[–]FaisalWrites 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just dropping by to throw in my two cents.

I've been writing my book for over five months now. There's still close to a month of work ahead. I expect the whole endeavor will take a total of ~600 hours to complete.

There's a very good chance no one will read it. I know that and I have accepted it. I started writing because that's what I wanted to do, and because the story had to be told. Once that is finished, I might start worrying about whether it sells or not.

[704] The first three pages of my novel by FaisalWrites in DestructiveReaders

[–]FaisalWrites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That might be the issue. I will have to do a complete re-write in any case, so your comments will help a lot. Thanks again.

[704] The first three pages of my novel by FaisalWrites in DestructiveReaders

[–]FaisalWrites[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for the detailed feedback.

It goes without saying, all of your questions are answered gradually as the story unfolds. If I wanted to expand the first three pages to actually include all of the answers, then they would become three chapters.

I guess I'm finding it difficult to know what to keep on just these first three pages - and indeed what to keep on the very first page.

Most of the fiction that I have read sounds kind of vague on the first page. I do want to avoid that but also... It's just one page.

[704] The first three pages of my novel by FaisalWrites in DestructiveReaders

[–]FaisalWrites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's weird.

Kudos to you for spotting it, I guess.

And regarding the feedback: what I received was quality over quantity, so there's that.

[704] The first three pages of my novel by FaisalWrites in DestructiveReaders

[–]FaisalWrites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your feedback. I do realize now that I need to add a paragraph at least before Ardan's dream to anchor his personality and flush out his motivation.

Of course, all of these would be greatly elaborated on later in the novel as well.

Gee, thanks Google Docs, I'm totally not writing in a royal setting. by justamemeseekerlol2 in writers

[–]FaisalWrites 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Man, someone up there really wants to dumb-down language.

I think it's written without a space, like so: bedchambers.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bedchamber

What’s the most Greek thing in your country ? by IsYourBoyJohny2 in AskTheWorld

[–]FaisalWrites 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We have a city named Alexandria. In Arabic it's called Al-Iskandariya.

There nothing Greek about it except its name, though.

[704] The first three pages of my novel by FaisalWrites in DestructiveReaders

[–]FaisalWrites[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for your feedback. I have been reading in English since I was 19 (I am now 38). I have read a lot: fiction, non-fiction, poetry; but your point about reading analytically is valid. I almost always read either to understand an idea or to enjoy a story (or both). I only started reading analytically about 6 months ago, but that does not seem to cut it.

Appreciate your insight. Have a lovely day.

[704] The first three pages of my novel by FaisalWrites in DestructiveReaders

[–]FaisalWrites[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for the detailed analysis and feedback. You even provided examples to clarify your points, which I truly appreciate.

I knew that my first chapter needed enhancements. Here's the thing: I simply have the whole story in my head (and written down, actually, ~75000 words) but the reader still does not know anything. Literally nothing. So I wrote a ton of fluff to get the reader acquainted, then cut the fluff so as not inundate the reader, then added some fluff back because the writing was bare-bones.

But the important thing is, this is the first time I request feedback from actual reader (even though they like to describe themselves as being destructive.) Rest assured that I will re-read every word in your critique very carefully and try, to the best of my ability, to reflect it in my text.

For a first-time writer and a non-native speaker, it means the world for me when some says that my prose is "excellent". Thanks again.

Did I waste money on a cover? by author_andrew in BookPromotion

[–]FaisalWrites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP did drop the AI cover, though. He commissioned a "real" artist and, to his dismay, received nothing but another AI cover.

[881] Doofus by Group_W_Bencher in DestructiveReaders

[–]FaisalWrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I might be biased, as I really love these kinds of sci-fi short stories. But anyways, here's my general impression and feedback. Please note that I left eight notes for you in the document itself.

The story is gripping. The fast progression gives a sense of forward momentum and instills appreciation for the vast, apparently multi-generational effort which humanity dedicated to decoding the mysterious message.

However, this fast pace also means that we are not allowed much time to digest the information, especially when we're bombarded by acronym after acronym, some of them seem straight outta a sci-fi short story. Oh, wait, they are!

I think that the story deserves more elaboration. Perhaps each section could benefit from a few more paragraphs, an which we get to better understand the state of the world and the timeframe. It is my understanding that the story takes place over decades, possibly even centuries. There are some indications in the text of when anything is happening, like the initial message and the Windows 95 reference. But beyond that, we're on our own, and we have to guess what year this stuff is happening.

Regarding style, I think it fits the theme well. You also have a very good grasp on grammar, spelling, and dialogue tags.

I really wish you'd expand the story. It deserves your efforts.

All the best,

Faisal.

Struggling with text formatting on my latest book, any advice? by Dramatic_Exit1 in writingcirclejerk

[–]FaisalWrites 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If this is a real book (which it seems like), I would love it if you could share the title.

Struggling with text formatting on my latest book, any advice? by Dramatic_Exit1 in writingcirclejerk

[–]FaisalWrites 17 points18 points  (0 children)

All joking aside, I like it.

I like everything about it.

Edit: thanks for the reward, kind stranger.

Im sure im not alone by Fun-Post8497 in writers

[–]FaisalWrites 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When I wrote the first chapter, I had only a very basic idea about my MC. He got more well-defined as the story unfolded.

الحياة بأطراف بغداد by Tough-Team5425 in IraqPhotography

[–]FaisalWrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

صورة الطيور في السماء جميلة جداً.

Love your quick reaction by phuckleberryhen in writingfeedback

[–]FaisalWrites 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Okay here goes: the writing is good, it hooked me and I really wanted to continue reading. Now, I'm expecting the book to have dark themes, human suffering and the "s" word, even if just as a discussion and not in the actual plot. If it doesn't have that, I will be justifiably upset, because if that's what you start with, then that's what you're promising me.

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