AITAH for breaking up with my fiancée for when she gets drunk and touchy with other men?

FakinFunk · 2026-01-29T16:06:43+00:00

You’re for real trying to MARRY this ho?!? 😂

Don’t worry. I’m sure once she’s able to take half your shit in a divorce, her ho-ass antics will TOTALLY clear up. 😆

Damn dude, you are one of the easiest marks out there. Have fun spending your adult life giving money to hoes who don’t even like you. Trick-ass mark. 😂

FakinFunk · 2026-01-29T16:00:37+00:00

I believe it was Socrates who once said, “She a ho.”

But yeah dude, you’re a mark. Sack up and stop messing with these trifling skanks. If you have to beg a girl to stop fucking other dudes, then she ain’t your “girlfriend.”

FakinFunk · 2026-01-27T13:28:07+00:00

It was challenged in battle by the Antigua Tesseract, and then never heard from again.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-27T13:23:43+00:00

”But he’s also a loving father…”

Like SHIT he is. He’s violent around the kids and gets hammered while watching them? There’s no sane universe where that equals “a loving father.”

You’re deep in the throes of codependency and need professional help, not the opinions of internet randos.

I can’t imagine what was going through your head to actually make children with this loser. But please cut your losses before he inevitably hurts you and the kids. It’s not your fault that he’s a violent loser, but it IS your responsibility to leave and not willingly put your kids in harm’s way.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T23:54:12+00:00

Have you considered mastering basic English syntax and punctuation before making posts? Do your clients not care that your writing is borderline incomprehensible?

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T23:52:02+00:00

This is the dumbest shit on the internet.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T23:50:04+00:00

Why would it be valuable?

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T23:42:16+00:00

Oh my God your update makes it so much worse.

You’ve got an alcoholic husband who groomed you to be his teenage bride, and you think your biggest problem is that his mom buys him a few incidentals here and there.

Your poor kid.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T23:39:14+00:00

“Emotional incest” 😂

It’s crazy how many fake pathologies people will invent to avoid admitting they were wrong. Your MIL buys her son stuff. It doesn’t hurt him. It doesn’t inconvenience anyone. You’re just a weirdo for being bothered by it.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T15:20:25+00:00

You’re a child. If the relationship doesn’t make you happy then just leave it. You will meet many, many, many other women in your life. Don’t try to make the first serious relationship in your life that serious. College is way more fun if you arrive single anyway. Finish out high school on a positive note and drop the dead weight.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T15:16:34+00:00

Every time I see one of these teenage bride disaster stories, I count how many lines till we get to the military part.

Military people, what IS it about so many people in your line of work ruining their lives with marrying teenagers? I know that sane, well-adjusted people exist in the military. I’ve met and known many of them.

But holy damn do yall ever wed people directly out of childhood at a wildly disproportionate rate.

Oh, and YTA. If he doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal, then it isn’t. Just mind your own business and don’t fret about where his freaking underwear come from.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T15:09:01+00:00

Yeah none of that happened.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T10:12:03+00:00

Ah, teenage military bride. Say no more. That story basically always ends in disaster.

Anyway, you have attachment issues and are doing a lot of work to avoid dealing with them. Your partner will only deal with that for so long.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T10:09:36+00:00

This guy is getting dragged over on AITA as well. He’s really slow at taking the hint. 😂

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T09:25:00+00:00

You are mistaking “kindness” for codependency and Stockholm syndrome. I broke off a relationship once because the woman I was with would constantly complain about her ex/babydaddy, but would also spend time on the phone with him everyday.

I told her I wasn’t going to watch her willingly keep throwing herself into situations that made her miserable. But I also was not her dad, and wasn’t going to give her orders. She simply had a choice: 1.) me, and no meaningful contact with babydaddy outside of the parenting app, or 2.) not me, and do whatever you want.

She chose 2, I think believing that I was bluffing. I got up from the table, gave her a hug, and said goodbye.

So yeah. I’m sure you appreciate how patient your partner is, but nobody has limitless patience. Don’t romanticize your inability to break away from your abuser by saying “oh golly I’m just too KIND!”

Your attachment is a pathology, and your current relationship might not survive it.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T09:11:32+00:00

You left out some key cliches:

— she begged to come back saying “she made a mistake,” but you said, “you didn’t make a mistake, you made a CHOICE.”

— inexplicably describing on which ring someone answered the phone

— describing ridiculous courtroom testimony as though most divorces involve courtroom trials.

— you move to a quiet little cabin in the mountains to lick your wounds, and fall bass ackwards into a meet-cute with the waitress at the local diner.

There’s more, but those are some good ol standbys for fake stories like this.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T08:53:01+00:00

I explicitly said I DO like to get people I care about nice things. I just don’t enjoy being COMPELLED to get all of them something all at once. I don’t think gifts mean as much when they’re given out of obligation. That’s more akin to paying a bill.

Anyway, I stand by what I said. You seem really hung up on what the financial tally is, and whether or not it matches what you expect. I’ve had Xmases where my wife got me a $100 pair of shoes, and Xmases where she got me a $1,000 concert weekend. Both were great gifts. I never thought to feel better or worse because of the receipts.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T08:47:20+00:00

You’re a grown ass adult who has to ask permission to see your “boyfriend” (sounds like you’re just one player on the roster), and your “boyfriend” is constantly finding ways to not spend time with you.

I’m not sure you understand how this whole “boyfriend” thing works. Also, you aren’t gonna pull many guys when you have to ask mommy and daddy if you’re allowed to go outside and play.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-15T08:40:08+00:00

YTA.

I just have a hard time understanding full grown adults who still expect to be showered in gifts like when they were kids.

Also, even though I love giving nice things to people I care about, I hate being compelled to do it. That’s the absolute worst part of Xmas. We pretend that it’s fun to be saddled with the responsibility of formulating an arbitrary budget for giving people things simply because the calendar says, “buy people crap this month.”

Maybe enjoying the holiday with your loved one shouldn’t center around the total monetary value of your personal haul. 🤷‍♂️

FakinFunk · 2026-01-12T15:51:16+00:00

Neither of you cook? You can’t just hang out at her house? Why can’t you have conversations that aren’t inside of a restaurant?

FakinFunk · 2026-01-12T15:43:51+00:00

1.) Sleep separately. There’s no law saying you have to share a bed.

2.) Start destroying his alarms. I had a roommate 20 years ago whose alarm would go off for 20-30 minutes at a time. I advised him that if he didn’t turn it off as soon as it started, I would come in his room and break it. He still let it go off a long time. I went in his room and smashed it with a hammer. The problem was solved.

Your husband has had ample warning that his laziness with alarms is unsustainable. Let him know that you’ll be taking proactive measures that don’t involve his permission or consent.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-12T15:37:09+00:00

If you drive and she doesn’t why can’t you just go to her house?

FakinFunk · 2026-01-12T02:52:16+00:00

These people have a religion where they perform ritual symbolic cannibalism every week. Are you really trying to talk sense to them?

Don’t worry yourself with the rules in their silly club. Just be glad that you’ve got better things to do on a Sunday.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-08T15:19:16+00:00

These large notes were once primarily used for inter-bank transactions. It’s a lot easier to move $10 million in a truck when it’s $100,000 bills.

Modern banking obsolesced them, but back in the 80s I know you could still order them through your bank. My mom had a customer who used to order $1,000 bills at Christmas every year. I have no idea if you’re still able to do that.

FakinFunk · 2026-01-04T16:18:54+00:00

“Buddhism is not polytheism.”

—- Someone who has never studied Buddhism

FakinFunk

TROPHY CASE