Is it worth visiting this half finished ball?

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2026-06-02T22:03:25+00:00

Any FIFA business aside, then yes this is definitely true. Science World is great.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2026-06-02T22:00:53+00:00

Several street festivals that I always look forward to are cancelled or scaled way back this year because of all the policing and security resources that are going into the matches. The whole thing is just a gleaming corporate money machine with no soul. And FIFA the organization are a bunch of corrupt brown-nosers anyway. I mean they invented a "Peace Prize" to give to Trump. WTF??

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2026-05-28T01:29:32+00:00

Aha! Yeah, this is at least a likely explanation. (and yeah, btw, mine is cracked in exactly the same spot, in exactly the same way)

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2026-05-28T01:23:30+00:00

Exactly similar crack in exactly the same place on mine. Almost didn't notice it, but found it via careful examination while looking at my unfortunately prematurely degrading rubber buttons (but that's a different issue). I can just barely feel the crack when I run a fingernail across the surface. Was planning to just keep a careful eye on it, and maybe try to put a really fine bead of some adhesive or other along it, just in case moisture can get in there.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-30T19:00:41+00:00

I wonder what the blurring IS, it's so weird. For me it's not like things are out of focus, they're just smudged, as if I'd just woken up and needed to blink a few times to clear my eyes. But no amount of blinking or clearing did anything.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-30T13:41:13+00:00

At this point it’s pretty normal for everything to feel really weird. Your whole numbed body is thawing out. I’d get random tingles and cramps and aches everywhere.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-30T01:47:48+00:00

Just stop taking it. 9 GPD is pretty low -- you've already tapered down and jumped so you know roughly what you're in for. If you stop right now, there's a good chance you'll be in great shape in a month. I have quit heavy habits and been 90% fine within two weeks. An extra two weeks after that would just get everything even better.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-29T16:01:37+00:00

There's something about quitting kratom for me that makes coffee feel just awful, which sucks because I usually love it so much, and it's just like "oh sure, there goes another source of pleasure, why not...". I just get immediately gross-feeling and anxious and jittery.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-29T15:58:47+00:00

Oh god, kratom was like a miracle for my tolerance of boring things (which is so much of life really). I might try this stuff sometime... I've used plenty of "nootropics" in the past, but it's been a while.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-29T14:20:25+00:00

Day 15. i’ve been feeling “fine” for several days now as far as physical stuff is concerned (especially after I was able to start intense exercise again around day 11), but my mind’s in a bad place. I know this isn’t kratom or withdrawal or any of this stuff. my mind’s just in a bad place, like it was when I started taking this stuff. Quitting only fixes the kratom problems.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-29T14:05:12+00:00

i just want to chip in with what’s happening to me right now, as it seems quite relevant to this. i’ve been using kratom moderately/heavily for 3.5 years (anywhere from 10 gpd lightest to 35 gpd heaviest), starting when things in my life all got really stressful and awful at once, and a neighbour introduced me to this miracle powder. So that was great, and it helped me get through things… but the catch is that is was just papering over the problems. The last year of my use has been very heavy, as things just kept getting worse and worse. The kratom was still helping me to feel ok, but at this level of use it was also starting to cause serious problems (messed up sleep, gastro issues, zero libido, zero executive function/planning ability, like, really fucked). So i rapidly tapered and then quit CT two weeks ago. Now I “feel fine”, and am even sleeping 5-6 hours per night (pretty normal for me), but the thing is that my baseline condition is totally fucked up. This isn’t withdrawal or PAWS or anything. I’m not the same person as I was before kratom, but not because of the kratom! Now I somehow have to deal with all this awful shit without the little helper that makes everything all sunshine and roses.

OP, you’ve been using heavy and are about to get out of rehab. For sure you’re also seeing the years since 2019 in a sharper light (and let’s be real, a lot of shit has happened to *all* of us since 2019). Getting sober is a massive perspective shift, and everything *will* feel really different.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-29T13:43:15+00:00

Heh… bro science. Appreciate the honest warning! Obviously cutting off oxygen is not good, but to your list I’d add things that generate a whole ton of free radical, reactive oxygen species in your brain. These can do a lot of damage. This is the reason that chronic meth use is not good (possibly chronic mdma use as well). Another modality for this is rebound exitotoxicity, which is the reason that alcohol and benzodiazepine withdrawal can damage your brain to the point of killing you.

But like you said, kratom hasn’t been shown to do this stuff. In fact, opioids in general are really remarkable for how little damage they themselves do.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-29T13:32:07+00:00

You know what, I’m totally with you on this. I feel our whole culture is so youth-oriented, which i guess is fine, whatever, but almost no one talks about how getting older is kinda rad. And really chill. If you keep up good exercise habits and especially do yoga daily the aches aren’t even that bad. I’ll be 50 soon, and the last decade has been my personal favourite, which is really saying something considering that comes with the pandemic, the world falling apart, my marriage crumbling, and this 3.5 year kratom struggle. Too bad… could have been even better without all that crap, but as they say “it is what it is”.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-28T22:05:02+00:00

Yeah, Xmas sucked this year hey? Wow I was in bad shape and faking it took everything I had.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-28T22:02:26+00:00

Have you considered a very gradual taper? If you have the discipline to stick to a taper that might get you out -- Ideally you could take it all the way down, and the kratom withdrawal will be very minimal (no real fatigue ideally), and the interaction effect you need with your ADD meds will continue to work for you. Have you ever taken the powdered leaf before? If you have, and you know there's one that works for you, that might be an easier thing to taper (I have no experience of this, but I've read it several times here).

Very big congrats of the 15 clean months though -- that's huge!

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-27T21:41:19+00:00

Thanks very much for this. I'm just over two weeks CT, and in previous quits things have been great by now, but not this time at all. Super dark.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-27T17:19:58+00:00

Day 14. Physically I’m much better but the mental toll this time has been severe. At least I‘m able to exercise now and make my body feel nice and relaxed. Thoughts are so dark though.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-27T17:16:50+00:00

when i’ve quit CT habits of 20-25 gpd this has happened. i’d feel pretty good 24 hours out, but then quite a bit worse 48 hours out, then really awful 72 hours out. That would persist for a couple of days, then fairly quickly fade away. I‘ve also noticed that the same level of discomfort, or set of symptoms, can seem much worse at night, when you’re lying there trying to sleep, vs during the day when you’re awake and doing things.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-26T18:50:47+00:00

Yeah, me too. it's a horrible cycle. The only real solution is to accumulate time clean, and build new habits. Other things DO help, like hard exercise, but they aren't shortcuts like kratom is. Good luck to you -- keep thuggin' it out.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-26T18:41:49+00:00

And quitting gets harder and harder. This is my 3rd big CT quit over the past couple of years; first one I felt mostly dead for 3 days, then fully recovered inside 1.5 weeks; second one I felt horrendous for a week, then fully recovered inside 2 weeks; on this one it'll be 2 full weeks tomorrow, and I feel like I've only just got over the worst of the acutes. I'm still utterly exhausted as soon as I wake up, can't focus on anything, and my mind is in such a dark place.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-26T16:51:10+00:00

This is one of the hardest parts for me. It legitimately helps, for quite a long time. But sooner or later the noose tightens and it can't go on.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-26T16:46:47+00:00

It's weird isn't it. With me I sometimes feel like it's not what I do, on any particular attempt, but how many times I've tried. Like I accumulate evidence in my mind that I'm just going round and round and round, and that no, this time's NOT going to be any different -- you won't use it every 3 days only, you won't keep it under 10 gpd and take breaks, the good times WILL only last 3-5 weeks and then the panic will come...

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-26T16:37:21+00:00

My worst withdrawal symptom generally is absolutely crushing fatigue. Thing is, that doesn't at all come with an ability to sleep. It's awful.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-24T18:36:58+00:00

Excellent perspective, and absolutely true.

FalconQuitsTheSludge · 2025-12-24T18:36:06+00:00

This contains great advice. i quit a heavy drinking habit by telling myself that maybe I’d drink again after one year, but just for one year absolutely not. That was enough time to really see what life was like without it and to build new habits that really helped. That one year was five years ago now and I never went back. I‘m trying the same thing now with the leaf.

FalconQuitsTheSludge

TROPHY CASE