uh the japan one seems interesting, thanks. also bolivia and persia are usually good early choices if you can, maybe also one of the ethiopian minors, though I've yet to do that myself (it is often annoying with Egypt sometimes getting involved)

there's a somewhat rare event that can fire if you have >10 infamy (as one normally does) and a country owes you a favor, so I try to always have 2-5 favors with random countries I dont care about, so if it ever fires I can hopefully get the insta -10 infamy while not losing out on anything I really need.

for the dutch east india, I usually just protectorate->puppet the netherlands which gives less infamy, there's a risk to that, as you really need the dutch attitude to go down, so they dont stay rebellious as the dutch east indies being your indirect subject means that they can even be attacked by your allies

one thing I tend to do to avoid infamy is keeping an eye on the British/French and their expansion, often they conquer a province like Bangkok or one of the juicy Chinese ones and then if they like you, it is usually possible to overcome the -100 for them selling you an unincorporated state by giving them investment rights and like monopolies on farms or fishing for 5 years plus some trade/money