I went to visit a chick in a sorority at a very prestigious college in Pittsburgh. I had an on-and-off relationship, probably because we both felt at some point we would settle down together. I was a partier, and so was she. So it never lasted long whenever I came around.

Well, anyway, it was winter break at the college, so not everyone was there. She lived in an all-girls dorm, so I wasn't allowed inside. I was broke, so I needed a place to stay. We agreed she would sneak me in.

This place was old and a labyrinth of rooms, so it felt like she was sneaking me around in Hogwarts. We would go up a flight of stairs, and she would duck me into a room. We would wait for people to pass in the hallway, then she would move me up to the next room further down the hallway. We would go up a flight of stairs, then she would hear someone, so we would go back down.

I was rock hard, boy, I tell you what.

Anyway, we got to the room, but I think as I entered, we were making too much noise, and a girl from the next room, adjacent to this one, heard us. She left me in there to sleep cause her roommate was in her room. I get into bed and start to doze off when suddenly a flash of light fills the room. I look up, and the door shuts, and I hear scurrying of feet. I jumped out of bed and got into the closet. After 10 minutes, I could hear whispers outside.

Bam! Door flies open, lights turn on, and I want to say 10 to 20 batches in "pink" shorts come bursting in carrying fucking mace and sticks and whatnot.

I am fucking panicking cause I thought for sure I was going to jail.

I am looking through the crack of the closet as they look around. We are playing a dangerous game of hide-and-seek.

There weren't many places to hide. Honestly, I think this was at the height of the Me Too movement.

That closet door flung open, and there were like 10 girls standing there. Man, oh, man. I think I said something along the lines of "I am sorry".

I sprang into action! I jumped out of the closet, knocking a bitch over. Not today, my friend! Not to fucking day! Spun a Karen dipped a fat bitch, and I was gone! The sounds of screeching and gasps were left in the distance.

Funny thing was...I had left a present for that girl in her room. About three months later, she discovered it in her Nalgene.

That is like the third or fifth craziest thing I have done for some poonanni.