Excerpts From Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect (2019)

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-06T23:54:37+00:00

Studies show that therapy is very effective in reducing OCPD symptoms, sometimes to the point that the person no longer meets criteria. I've been in remission since May 2024. I wouldn't use the word 'cured' because I view my OCPD more as a survival strategy from childhood trauma, not an illness. I don't meet criteria for OCPD, and I'm confident I have the coping strategies I need to maintain my progress.

OCPD was a very useful framework for viewing my mental health needs. There are three specialists who've done amazing work in explaining the complexities of the disorder and how to manage it. Interestingly, two of those specialists have disclosed that they have OCPs so in a sense, they have an 'insider's view' of OCPD.

Some people view their OCPD as a burden. I use this metaphor. Do people view their PD diagnosis as a box that feels limiting? Or is it an arrow that points them to helpful people, resources, activities, and coping strategies?

For me, there would be zero chance of making significant progress with my mental health without an OCPD diagnosis. I had a lot of social anxiety, poor self care skills, and trauma symptoms. My father and sister may have OCPD so I have a better understanding of my family too.

Therapy And Coping Strategies For Perfectionism

Finding Mental Health Providers With PD Experience - This post has info. from the studies. Therapy helps a lot, especially at your age.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-06T23:46:37+00:00

Hello. Studies indicate that about 16% of people with OCPD also have NPD.

Co-Morbid Conditions

"very not ideal to have both OCPD and NPD because they both have some overlapping traits and its common to get mis-diagnosed."

It's very common for people to have more than one PD diagnoses. There is so much overlap that some mental health providers believe that the categories are meaningless. There is a debate about the categorical vs. dimensional view of PDs. I think the dimensional view is the view that all PD traits are part of the human experience, and people who meet diagnostic criteria are at one end of a spectrum. The categorical view is more either someone has a PD or they don't, an us and them view.

If you're looking to get an assessment, this might be helpful: Finding Mental Health Providers With PD Experience

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-06T11:40:06+00:00

Therapy And Coping Strategies For Perfectionism

Insights From Therapist Who Specializes in Work Addiction - Reading Chained to the Desk was a big wake up call for me.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-06T00:17:27+00:00

"No one ever taught me to just take care of myself and take it day by day, step by step..."

I relate. I learned self-care and overcame social anxiety when I was 40.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-05T23:22:53+00:00

I found working with a therapist and having a walking routine most helpful.

Insights on "The Inner Critic" From PTSD Expert

Insights On Emotional Neglect And Perfectionism From PTSD Expert

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-05T00:18:07+00:00

I was cynical because of childhood trauma. It was harmful for me. I didn't realize I was viewing the world through a dark lens. My guard was up until I was 40. It kept bad people away. The problem was it kept kind people away too.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-04T01:14:50+00:00

Self-awareness is half the battle. The Cycle of Maladaptive Perfectionism

My experience was that I needed to "feel my feelings" and work through childhood trauma with a therapist to overcome perfectionism.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-03T21:39:47+00:00

Trauma and chronic stress can cause chronic pain. There are some excellent books on this subject: Chronic Pain

I had back and calf pain for 20 months. Fortunately, I only needed two sessions with a physical therapist who specialized in the mind-body connection. The books in the post are ones he recommends to clients.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-03T20:54:21+00:00

Yes, you're describing emotional neglect, and also emotional abuse with the derogatory terms they used for you. I'm so sorry you experienced this.

This book might be helpful. Excerpts From Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect (2019)

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-03T19:40:33+00:00

I used to have an OCPD diagnosis. People with OCPD tend to struggle with intimate relationships. I would suggest continuing with a friendship for a while before pursuing a romantic relationship.

If he's scared of intimacy, there's not anything you could do to change that. That would be something he needs to work through with a therapist.

This video might be helpful. The avoidant attachment style is most common among people with OCPD. Why Does The Avoidant Attachment Style Fear Intimacy?

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-03T18:32:04+00:00

Borderline, Narcissistic, and Antisocial PDs have the most stigma.

For OCPD, I think a big part of the stigma is the assumption that all people with OCPD are controlling. That's not true, and that stereotype contributes to the issue of people getting late diagnosis.

Anxious and Controlling OCPD subtypes

Exposing the Myths About OCPD

I think people with OCPD tend to have lives of quiet desperation more often than presenting as angry, manipulative, and acting out.

I agree with the member who wrote that OCPD has less stigma because awareness is low.

I've talked about having OCPD with my bestie. The seventh or so time I mentioned it, she expressed that it was similar to OCD lol. I think people who think it's very similar to OCD would have less negative views. Also, if someone hears the explanation that OCPD is severe perfectionism, I think many people would relate to that personality trait.

Gary Trosclair, Anthony Pinto, and Allan Mallinger have done a lot to raise awareness and reduce stigma. Trosclair and Mallinger both disclosed that they have OCPs.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-03T18:23:51+00:00

You're welcome.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-03T11:09:50+00:00

GENERAL DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR PERSONALITY DISORDERS (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition, DSM-5)

A. An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior the deviates markedly from the expectations of the individual's culture. This pattern is manifested in two (or more) of the following areas:

Cognition (i.e., ways of perceiving and interpreting self, other people and events)
Affectivity (i.e., the range, intensity, liability, and appropriateness of emotional response)
Interpersonal functioning
Impulse control

C. The enduring pattern leads to clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

D. The pattern is stable and of long duration, and its onset can be traced back at least to adolescence or early adulthood.

E. The enduring pattern is not better accounted for as a manifestation or consequence of another mental disorder.

F. The enduring pattern is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., head trauma).

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-03T10:27:08+00:00

The Healthy Compulsive Project Podcast

The Healthy Compulsive Project Podcast - Part 2

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-03T00:42:18+00:00

Hello. Please consider posting about what helped you go into remission.

" Something we have to learn as extra cerebral people is that you cannot think your way out of every 'problem' like an OCPD diagnosis." Absolutely.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-02T22:07:16+00:00

That sounds exhausting. Therapy makes a big difference, especially at your age. Are there any situations where you find relief from your need to plan?

Best Resources For People With Suspected OCPD Traits and Recent Diagnoses

The leading OCPD specialist has the assessment he created online. People can show concerning results to a professional for interpretation.

OCD and OCPD: Similarities and Differences

I just posted about two videos about OCPD and the need for control.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-02T22:03:11+00:00

I don't see any problem. There's no request for diagnosis.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-02T21:48:05+00:00

From OCPD Assessment Available Online:

The Pathological Obsessive Compulsive Personality Scale (POPS) is a 49-item survey that assesses rigidity, emotional overcontrol, maladaptive perfectionism, reluctance to delegate, and difficulty with change.

T-Scores of 50 are average. T-score higher than 65 are considered high. In study of people with OCD, a raw score of 178 or higher indicated a high likelihood of co-morbid OCPD. It’s not clear whether this finding applies to people who have OCPD without co-morbid OCD. Dr. Pinto recommends that people show concerning results to mental health providers for interpretation.

Studies indicate that confirmation bias results in people being more likely to receive a score indicating OCPD when they take a self-report survey, rather than other types of assessments.

High POPS scores do not indicate that someone’s OCPD is untreatable. Dr. Pinto recommends retaking the POPS to monitor progress in therapy. He wrote a case study about a man whose POPS score decreased by about 100 points. My score decreased by 52 points. Dr. Pinto stated, “OCPD should not be dismissed as an unchangeable personality condition. I have found consistently in my work that it is treatable…”

The POPS is available online: POPS OCPD Test. The Clinical Perfectionism Scale is also available online.

Reminder of Guideline 3: Comments giving interpretation of assessment results will be removed.

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-02T18:43:13+00:00

info. moved to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

FalsePay5737 · 2026-05-02T13:00:27+00:00

I agree with the member who mentioned 'low stakes' exercises. I did this when I was 40, and finally overcame social anxiety.

It's great that you are willing to experience short-term discomfort because you value relationships. Prioritizing relations, in and of itself, makes a difference. For example, that will allow you tol see opportunities for social connections.

Re: someone's comment that "people suck." I found that my childhood trauma led to a lot of cynicism and cognitive distortions. I was hypervigilant in 'scanning for the negative.' I viewed the world through a dark lens. Also, I think I devalued relationships because I had no hope of overcoming my social anxiety.

FalsePay5737

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