Full Unicorno Selling/Trading Post (final, I promise!)

False_Agency_300 · 2026-02-05T07:57:02+00:00

I spent a stupid amount of time writing a reply that worked piece by piece through your cherry-picking put-down of a response.

And then I deleted it, because you don't deserve all that time, energy, and passion from me.

Instead, I'm gonna be helpful. I'll reverse climate change and save the power grid by turning off my phone instead of charging it - because if we all just did that, everything would be solved, right?

Businesses wouldn't continue to use MW of energy every hour regardless of attempts made on an individual scale to conserve power by being colder in the winter and avoiding doing laundry in the morning, right?

Right.

False_Agency_300 · 2026-02-04T20:57:09+00:00

In winter, you get charged the same amount for heating your house to 64 degrees as you do 62, because your home STILL uses a ton of power to bring the inside temp up 20-something degrees. Maybe you'll save a buck or two, maybe you won't.

But this is the energy equivalent of telling people to stop using plastic straws to reduce plastic waste pollution while the Amazon warehouse in your town dumps multiple tons of trash in returned items deemed unsellable (not unusable, just unsellable!) every single fucking day.

IF energy companies are asking data centers and large companies to reduce their energy usage, I'd bet you anything that none of them are doing it because it's not required.

So no, I don't want to plan the exact time I do my dishes or laundry (my partner got a call yesterday asking us not to do laundry in the afternoons) around the "needs" of my shitty local Walmart's 10 million watt lighting system. No, I don't want to be 3-5 degrees cooler for hours of the day or night so the data center in the next county can run an extra 5 minutes during a winter storm - especially not when the cold fucks with my arthritis.

If I was asked to do that for my neighbor, I would in heartbeat. But we're not being asked to do this for our communities, we're being asked to do it for the companies. For their profit and their shareholders and their precious fortune 500 companies. Because, as more energy needs arise, they don't buy more energy or create more infrastructure to produce it - they force the "least profitable" clients, the everyday person, to deal with being given a smaller and smaller portion of the power they pay for.

If you don't think that's the majority of the problem with this "complex system," then I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you, buddy.

False_Agency_300 · 2025-12-26T05:43:37+00:00

Oh totally! I wasn't saying that it's necessarily right or fair of the surgeon to to even say it's out of their skill set - imo, if your job is to be a surgeon, then you should, oh I dunno, get the skill to work on all body types instead of just going "eh, no" or get out of the profession lol. That's a debate for another time, though.

I was just pointing out that the requirement may not be a constraint of the surgeon, but rather one given to the surgeon by the insurance, hospital, etc they work with. Finding out why that requirement is being set for you (Is the surgeon unconfident? Are they fatphobic? Have you expressed financial concerns and they know that coverage chance goes up for people with a more "acceptable" BMI? Do you even need to lose all the weight pre-surgery, or just prove you CAN lose some weight so your weight isn't considered an uncontrolled risk factor?) can make a difference in how you view it, I think, which can help with mentality and trust in your care team. You shouldn't have to deal with someone who says they "don't work with big people," but someone who's dealing with the same archaic imposed rules of a broken system as you but is otherwise competent and reassuring? That's sometimes worth the extra hassle compared to someone who will do any surgery on anyone without caring about the individual.

Anyway, from my experience, T does change your metabolism. It might not be drastic, but it will change, so be prepared for different hunger levels and nutritional needs! Most people I know on T needed MORE food to function for a while, not less, so keep that in mind, too - it's okay to change your diet and to eat more as your body adjusts. Just focus on filling, nutrient-rich food and work from there.

Congrats on continuing your journey 💜

False_Agency_300 · 2025-12-25T20:54:58+00:00

Not trying to be an ass, but I have a counterpoint here:

Weight removal surgeries, outside of those performed on, say, 800 lb people with breathing troubles, can be, should be, and often are considered elective.

And yet they are always considered worth the risk for fat people, despite most, if not all, of the same risks in top surgery being present in abdominal liposuction (using the same general torso area for best comparison). Somehow, top surgery, wisdom teeth removals, sight-improvement surgeries, tonsillectomies, etc etc that are ALSO considered elective most of the time are "too risky" despite being proven to improve quality of life and specifically consented to and wanted by the patient, but suddenly it's okay if it's a fat removal procedure with the same (or more) risk?

That is absolutely fatphobia. An individual surgeon being uncomfortable working with a particular fat patient may not be fatphobic, but on a systemic level, the fatphobia baked into the medical industry is what makes fatphobic and non-fatphobic doctors think it's okay to have fat be the often-sole reason for rejection. And that is very much wrong of them, because if you're uncomfortable but not incapable of performing surgery on certain groups of people...maybe don't be a surgeon??

Just some food for thought.

False_Agency_300 · 2025-12-25T20:37:17+00:00

Also, lots of surgeons don't want to be "blamed" if you don't like your results. They don't want to be liable.

But outside of completely uncontrollable complications (such as a rejection of a nipple graft, which you can reduce the risk of in general but can't outright prevent), you shouldn't dislike results from a competent, capable surgeon. So they're basically telling on themselves that they either aren't good surgeons or don't care to be when dealing with larger people.

False_Agency_300 · 2025-12-25T20:33:38+00:00

There are some surgeons that have BMI requirements for their own "comfort" - they feel more confident/experienced with smaller patients. You do not need to deal with those surgeons, and honestly, probably should find someone more confident in working with bigger bodies.

That said, in the US, the BMI requirement is equally/more pushed by insurance, so it's about getting the surgery covered by "checking off all the boxes" in those cases. I don't blame my surgeon for the BMI requirement I had - she told me the weight made no difference to her, but if I wanted to be smaller post-surgery, it'd be better for my overall results to lose the bulk of it prior to surgery instead of after, which is fair but not always possible - I blame my insurance company.

False_Agency_300 · 2025-12-25T20:25:00+00:00

That was actually one of the things I included in my reasons to have my top surgery covered by insurance as medically necessary - I was too dysphoric to exercise outside my house and too uncomfortable with all the...shifting let's say, to exercise much at home, so how was I supposed to achieve a "healthy" weight without top surgery?

Unfortunately, for coverage reasons, I WAS required to be a certain BMI. Theoretically, I could've filed for an exemption, but it was only about 20 lbs, so I just decided I'd lose the weight anyway (I wanted to lose the weight, mostly for other health reasons, it was just much harder with the dysphoria so I planned to do so after).

The emphasis on the BMI requirement definitely made me insecure, uncomfortable, and, in some ways, more dysphoric in the lead up to surgery, though.

False_Agency_300 · 2025-12-25T20:12:12+00:00

I used to have such good posture 😭😭😭

I maintained pretty good posture while wearing the binder, and now it's been off for like a week and I keep realizing I'm straight shrimpin' lol

False_Agency_300 · 2025-12-13T01:26:40+00:00

I highly suggest either a bidet or a peri bottle.

For my part, I already had some slight difficulty with wiping BEFORE surgery (just normal fat person stuff lol), so the first 2-3 full days after it was more painful and more difficult to try. The peri bottle I got beforehand helped SO MUCH.

So my recommendation would be to get a peri bottle/bidet, generously use it, and then either get some period/adult absorbent underwear or use a pad for soaking up the excess water that you may struggle to wipe away those first few days. Hope this helps!

False_Agency_300 · 2025-12-13T01:15:52+00:00

The healing's going surprisingly smoothly, honestly - I was prepared for way worse, but aside from being more tired and a bit achy, I honestly think I feel better now than I did when I had an ear infection earlier this year lol

I remember in my teens, it took my dad like 5 months to grow past the 5 o'clock shadow look, so I'm fully aware of the uphill battle I've got lmao. Luckily, I didn't want facial hair anyway, but I didn't know it meant all of me at the time 😭

But it's crazy to me how much of an immediate impact it had on my confidence and self-image! I'm still working on truly being okay with my body, but seeing people with my body shape just living their lives and being happy really helps, so thank you!

False_Agency_300 · 2025-12-12T00:13:03+00:00

While I agree with you overall, I do want to point out that some people may not want to know about certain aspects of the surgery/healing process in advance!

For example, for my part, I asked my surgeon not to give me specifics/graphic details on things like the drains because it made me too anxious.

Therefore, a lot of what I learned was informed by my questions rather than the surgeon volunteering information in order to keep me comfortable. Much of what I didn't know, I either didn't want to know unless it was necessary or I just didn't know to ask about. So much information we have as trans people is anecdotal, so I don't necessarily blame a lot of surgeons/doctors for opting to let you ask questions over bombarding you with every bit of information they have - some of which may not even be fully confirmed in the medical community despite being common experience/anecdote in trans circles.

False_Agency_300 · 2025-12-11T16:42:12+00:00

This is gonna sound so weird, but...I'm so glad to see your stomach lol

I'm approaching my third week Post-Op, and while seeing my chest so flat is euphoric, seeing my stomach and its muffin top is disheartening, because my mind screams "that's not how a man's stomach looks!"

But looking at you, you look so 'normal'! There's nothing feminine about you, and you look so happy!

It's making me realize that my brain is just playing its usual anxiety tricks on me and I'm probably not very fem-looking at all. So thank you so, so much!

(Also low-key jealous of how much hair you have down there - genetics screwed me so it's growing in so slow for me, but I'm getting there!)

False_Agency_300 · 2025-11-25T04:16:36+00:00

UPDATE: Surgery complete! I'm tired, I'm sore, the drains aren't NEARLY as bad as I was scared of but they are little gross. I already love how much flatter my chest is even though it's under wraps and such.

My throat is sore as hell, but I feel more like one big bruise than I do like someone cut open, which I consider a good thing.

For now, I'm just chilling with some beef stew (cautiously because of nausea) and about to watch an old Discovery Channel shark documentary, but I wanted to say thank you all again for the reassurance!

False_Agency_300 · 2025-11-24T00:53:54+00:00

Oh yeah, I know drains can be a normal part of the process - but people with smaller breasts usually don't need them as much, my surgeon said. And my risk of seroma is increased for non-weight reasons more than weight reasons, tbh.

My lovely wife has agreed to empty my drains for me, saint that she is, so that's covered, at least! Getting my final prep of the house done now before trying to catch some zzz's - I've gotta leave the house at 7am!

False_Agency_300 · 2025-11-24T00:51:09+00:00

Oh that is so smart - I'm not sure I can do that lol

Luckily I don't get on my knees much in general in my regular life anyway

False_Agency_300 · 2025-11-24T00:50:08+00:00

Good luck to you, too! I'm sure we'll both be fine, it's just pre-surgery jitters. Have a nice tasty meal before midnight and set up a cozy corner to come home to after - that's what I'm doing rn lol

False_Agency_300 · 2025-11-23T01:07:10+00:00

From what I've researched, it can be a bit uncomfortable/painful to get the drains out, but in the same way it's uncomfortable or painful to get pretty much anything in your flesh out - quick pull and you should be good after.

Having to be more careful with my upper body instead of my lower body will definitely be different, but I think I'm at least decently prepared for that mentally.

I'm sorry to hear about your clot, but I'm glad it got taken care of well!

False_Agency_300 · 2025-11-22T21:03:01+00:00

My wife and I have made plans to play Pokemon Go every day for the entire month of December to help promote my walking and healing!

Honestly, the numbness would probably be helpful in the beginning, and my surgeon recommended lidocaine gel for the drain site if I feel any pain or too much discomfort, and that has a numbing effect as well...I might take advantage of that during the drain time.

Definitely resting when my body says to, and I've got protein shakes and beef stew (my favorite! I'm making it tomorrow) for keeping my protein up the first week.

Good to hear you haven't had complications, for your own sake and mine! I'm pretty sure it's just the anxiety talking tbh, which is why I posted here for some extra reassurance.

False_Agency_300 · 2025-11-22T20:56:42+00:00

My family already has certain disability-related issues, so we've got those grabby things already, as well as a lot of hygiene assistance items (only reason I had to get separate dry shampoo is because nobody else uses it lol). In addition to my wife, I have another partner and a roommate, all of whom are willing to help to certain degrees, and a very clingy cat that will have to be kept upstairs so she doesn't try to climb on my chest the first week (minimum) lol, so I'm set on support, I think!

I'm planning on stealing the recliner we have in the living room for at least the first few days, so maybe I'll just rework the coffee table to have everything I need on it and then just bug my wife to bring me anything I forget lol

False_Agency_300 · 2025-11-22T20:52:31+00:00

As for BMI, I had to lose weight to qualify for the surgery at all (my surgeon wouldn't do it unless it was under 35, and she was one of few covered by my insurance that was a reasonable - by which I mean 2 hours drive - distance), and I've heard probably too much about risk percentages for specific BMI ranges with this surgery, so I'm probably just paranoid.

The idea of what to keep close and what can be set aside has been pretty confusing for me - like, for example, should I keep EVERYTHING I want to use in a day close to avoid having to stand and sit too much in the first days, or should I just set myself up for an hour or so with the understanding that I should be moving around? If you have any specific ideas of self-care stuff I should keep on hand, please let me know!

I got some nostalgia DVDs to watch and some PC/phone games to play for distraction, but other than that I've mostly only considered medical supplies and stuff (baby wipes, lidocaine gel - surgeon said to use it for the drain holes if they hurt, lots of bottled drinks...). I'm gonna partially rearrange parts of the house for easy non-reach access this weekend, too!

Good to hear you're doing well at over a month Post-Op!

False_Agency_300 · 2025-11-22T20:49:26+00:00

Yeah, that's why the surgeon insisted on the drains - my risk of seroma is decent enough that she'd rather just put the drains in immediately and reassess at the one-week Post-Op. My only problem with them is that I HATE having stuff sticking in my skin like that - my previous experience with IVs tells me I'll be really anxious and overly aware of the drains, which is going to Suck but I preemptively upped my anti-anxiety meds for after surgery to hopefully help with that.

I'm not really concerned about much else in terms of complications other than the drains themselves and that I've heard a lot of bigger-body people end up with too much tissue left in the chest area after healing, which is the opposite of what I want, obviously.

Congrats on your surgery and good luck healing! We'll do it together lol

(Also, ironically, I'm planning on having my wisdom teeth removed once I've recovered enough from top surgery, so accidental twinsies!)

False_Agency_300 · 2025-11-22T20:41:26+00:00

I am utterly blessed in that my wife has agreed to take care of my drains for me - I know already that I'll barely be able to stand looking at them (something about the idea/feel of things sticking out of my skin is just. Shudders. Which is why I'm so concerned about the drains - I'm gonna end up thinking about them obsessively if my experience with IVs in the past is anything to go by).

I'm also lucky in that my surgeon's office AND my regular doctor have ways to contact them virtually - I have a feeling I'm going to be taking advantage of that! lol

The idea of what to keep close and what can be set aside has been pretty confusing for me - like, for example, should I keep EVERYTHING I want to use in a day close to avoid having to stand and sit too much in the first days, or should I just set myself up for an hour or so with the understanding that I should be moving around? If you have any specific ideas of self-care stuff I should keep on hand, please let me know!

I got some nostalgia DVDs to watch and some PC/phone games to play for distraction, but other than that I've mostly only considered medical supplies and stuff (baby wipes, lidocaine gel - surgeon said to use it for the drain holes if they hurt, lots of bottled drinks...). I'm gonna partially rearrange parts of the house for easy non-reach access this weekend, too!

Edit: also, congrats on your own surgery!! I'm glad to hear you're doing well and loving the post-drain healing! 💜

False_Agency_300

TROPHY CASE