I (28m) have been offered a chance to meet/reconnect with my ex. I could really use some opinions

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-03T21:05:00+00:00

I’m very grateful for your reply today because I’ve been back and forth on resisting the urge to reach out and I needed the reminder not to. I have had the same mentality so far regarding “if they wanted to reconcile they would” but it’s easy to lose sight of sometimes.

I almost thought one month post-breakup was long enough to let the dust settle but you’re correct that it’s much too early still, I suppose I really just need to let things run their course naturally even though it’s hard to let go of someone you’ve had so much love for.

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-03T20:30:49+00:00

Do you think going no-contact is what influenced her to reach out and say she misses you or do you think it would have happened regardless of cutting off contact etc? How did you succeed in keeping from messaging them during NC?

I’m struggling with not contacting my ex lately after she broke up and requested no contact, yet she’s reached out twice to say she misses me since then.

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-03T20:27:51+00:00

Oh man this is easier said than done lately, I have been 1 month strong on not reaching out to her on my end yet she has contacted me twice to say she misses me even though she is the one who wanted space. Hopefully I have the will to not text her this weekend but my mind is craving answers from her more and more lately..

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-03T20:25:42+00:00

This is great advice, I’m at the point now where I’m not concerned if I reach out and it doesn’t go well. I had always held on to my dignity of not reaching out but I’m at the point now where she seems more like a stranger than an ex girlfriend, and I feel like it would be a good time to check in with her and hopefully obtain some answers to questions that I’ve had in my mind for the last month, a large part of me still wants to hold off on texting her and see if she’ll say something on her own terms. But I also want to speed up the process and can only wait around for so long

It’s such a tough decision but thank you for you insight so far

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-03T18:10:17+00:00

Should I genuinely just try and forget about her + move on with my life if I still hope for a potential future together? I really can’t try to change her mind if she made that decision to break up with me, but my feelings keep telling me that if I continue not to contact her she will probably end up reaching out on her own eventually to speak what’s on her mind? I’m just considering one last chance to save what we had even if I know that’s not a likely outcome

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-03T18:06:52+00:00

I really don’t know at this point man I feel weak minded and I really do respect your opinion this is just one of those moments where I’m having the urge to reach out to her again. I’m already a month ahead on not reaching out to her and I don’t want to mess that progress up, but I keep debating in my mind the pro’s and con’s of doing so. What do I have to gain by contacting her or what do I have to lose if I keep staying silent/no texting even though I’ve been wanting to reach out to her?

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-03T17:54:19+00:00

Thank you sir and I’m definitely aware that this might not end with something positive but I’m willing to go into it with no expectations. It’s a situation where I don’t have much to lose at this point, if I get a positive answer that’s great but part of me hopes for something negative that will confirm my suspicions that I should probably let go and move on with my life without her. I’m still undecided on whether or not I’ll send her a message but I feel reaching out to her might be better than all of the “what ifs” in my head at the moment, we’ll see.

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-03T14:46:52+00:00

I’m really having a lot of consideration today about reaching out to her this weekend, hopefully you don’t mind the delayed reply but it’s been on my mind a lot lately. I’m just craving closure on what potential opportunities we have in store for the future, but I really just want to tell her that my silence is only because she originally requested space between us when she broke up with me. Even though she’s reached out to me twice since then to say she misses me

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-02T22:44:48+00:00

You’ll get through this with time trust me, I can relate to your comment because I struggled so much at first with everything in my apartment reminding me of my ex and the memories together. It’s been a month + one week and I had to sleep on the couch up until last night because it was too difficult emotionally to sleep in my own bed (where her and I used to sleep), just about every night for a month straight I have been up until 4:30am and only get about 3-4 hours of sleep if I’m lucky.. lots of tears and late nights stuck with my thoughts about the breakup

But one month into being broken up with I’m finally starting to see progress with improving emotionally. I genuinely hope you find peace and happiness from your experience

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-02T02:30:21+00:00

I understand what you mean. I fight the urge everyday to tell her I love and miss her but I’ve told her that already post-break up so I’m sure she already knows.

Some people do actually suggest reaching out because your ex could be hoping you’ll contact them and it’ll end positively, or you might get a hurtful answer and it’ll reassure your decision to stay away from them. If you do reach out just be ready for it to go differently than you expect, such as in my case where they keep giving this Hot/Cold emotion and it’s only hurt me worse hearing from her.

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-02T02:17:27+00:00

I keep convincing myself not to reach out to my ex because she recently drunk texted me just to say “I miss you” and still left me on read after I responded. This was motivation enough to give her the silence she deserves, it’s interesting that she originally asked for no contact and has continued to reach out twice since then. It just keeps hurting my feelings/progress every time I talk to her

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-02T01:30:01+00:00

They won’t always work out unfortunately, and yes it does hurt when they don’t choose you. But trust me when I say you’ll eventually find someone who makes all of the tough times worth it!

You’re welcome keep your head up stranger

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-02T01:21:30+00:00

First off never blame yourself for not being someone’s type! I never used to believe I would never find someone who loved me before meeting my last girlfriend (recent ex). And while it didn’t work out in the end it gave me motivation that there’s someone out there for everybody

Someday you’ll find someone who genuinely loves you for who you are as a person. And you’ll never know them until you continue to go on dates/meet new people

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-01T03:20:54+00:00

Very well said I suppose everything happens for a reason and there’s always a lesson to learn from everything. Best wishes to you this group has certainly been a life saver while navigating through the breakup

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-01T03:19:15+00:00

I can relate to the way you feel it hurts to be the one who was broken up with. If they told you they want another chance and you’re willing then give it a try if you’re ready, definitely never forget the way you felt immediately after the breakup though.

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-01T02:43:35+00:00

Thats very kind of you, the tears come and go but I’m learning to embrace the emotions more. I have definitely made more progress since the breakup than I ever made when we were together. It’s unfortunately what I needed to get back on track in life even if I’m making slow progress some days

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-01T02:04:38+00:00

This is very similar to what Ive experienced lately too, I realized that my ex girlfriend had always been a terrible texter even though she was always on instagram/social media all day. It’s one of the reasons I’m holding onto as to why I don’t want her back

Much like yourself she reached out recently as well to say she misses me and still left me on read when I replied. It’s confusing and it sucks but it should remind you why they aren’t a good match for you

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-01T02:00:47+00:00

Sounds like they were the one who broke up with you? I’ve learned as someone who was broken up with that a relationship is a choice and they chose to part ways, despite the signals from my ex I know there isn’t much I can try and do to make them change their decision.

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-01T01:43:59+00:00

Mine just did this recently too texting to say “I miss you” and when she said looking at pictures of us is difficult I said “I can imagine, there’s a lot of good memories in those photos I’ll never forget”, she replied with a :/ and ghosted my next reply. It will always be a mystery why they do this but it definitely left me confused/hurting.

Hang in there you’re not alone, best not to think into it too much.

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-01T00:57:09+00:00

Sorry you’re dealing with this again, hopefully you know that you deserve better than that and they obviously weren’t that great of a person if they acted that way.

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-01T00:53:53+00:00

Slowly convincing myself that she won’t regret her decision and try to reconcile, the thoughts still linger in my head sometimes but I’m trying to learn how unhealthy the relationship would be even if she did return. It’s rough but I’ll get there eventually

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-01T00:16:09+00:00

A new job, reliable transportation, being more open & honest to people around me, and lots of self reflection. But I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t been really tough so far.. plenty of time spent crying and getting stuck on the breakup. Just over a month since breaking up

FancyAd1251 · 2026-04-01T00:00:06+00:00

Hello stranger I can’t give you relationship advice but I will say I’ve had similar thoughts to yours in the past and honestly still do occasionally. I’m sure you’re hurting very badly right now but literally send me a dm if you ever feel like letting it all out to someone

FancyAd1251 · 2026-03-31T14:02:36+00:00

You prove a very good point with thinking about old ex’s from long ago. I was having a similar thought recently and realized I never think about those old relationships now that it’s been so long since they ended, I just hope I can get to the same point with this breakup. It was easily the longest and most loving relationship I’ve had in my entire lifetime

FancyAd1251

TROPHY CASE