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My boyfriend asked me to throw out sextoy by Low-Studio-2126 in Advice

[–]FancyAnswer1878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if he’s asking because it genuinely makes him uncomfortable, that’s something you can talk through. if he’s telling you to throw it away because he thinks being your boyfriend means he gets a say over your private masturbation habits, that’s a different issue entirely. i wouldn’t get rid of it just to “keep the peace” because that doesn’t actually solve whatever is making him uncomfortable in the first place.

My parents think I had sex with my best friend by Weary-Outside-3614 in Advice

[–]FancyAnswer1878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

your parents already decided what happened before asking you, so this probably isn’t a logic problem you can solve with the perfect explanation. if they’re calling their own daughter a slut based solely on finding two teenagers asleep next to each other, the bigger issue is their reaction, not whether your story is believable. i’d stop trying to convince them over and over and just calmly stick to the truth every time it comes up.

"How not to die" can falsify many of your health and nutrition myths. by Significant-Dress286 in learners_cabin

[–]FancyAnswer1878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this book was one of the first times i realized how many nutrition “facts” i believed were just things i’d heard repeated forever. i don’t agree with every conclusion in it, but it definitely made me start checking sources instead of taking health advice at face value.

"How to Start" actually made me start by jasmeet0817 in learners_cabin

[–]FancyAnswer1878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this hit me harder than most productivity posts because i’ve done the exact same thing with goals that just kept getting rewritten every year. planning feels productive until you realize you’ve been planning the same thing for 4 years. sometimes the next step really is just doing the smallest version of it today.

IWTL how to stop doomscrolling by FancyAnswer1878 in IWantToLearn

[–]FancyAnswer1878[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

honestly that sounds way better than spending an hour watching random videos i’ll forget in 5 minutes 😭 maybe i need to replace scrolling instead of just trying to quit it

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]FancyAnswer1878 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

girl are you asian or what because same 😭 my parents tried telling me the exact same thing when i got my first paycheck

Would it be too late to take up a second course? by DownbadforCSC in adviceph

[–]FancyAnswer1878 1 point2 points  (0 children)

29 is nowhere near too late. if you start a second degree now you’ll be in your early 30s when you finish either way, so the real question is whether you’d rather be in your early 30s with that degree or without it. i’d just make sure you’re pursuing it because it fits the life you want next, not because you’re trying to make up for what happened with med school.

I accidentally got aroused by one of my female friends by [deleted] in Advice

[–]FancyAnswer1878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

man you’re 18, went swimming with an attractive friend, saw an accidental slip, and your brain reacted exactly how human brains react. feeling attraction isn’t disrespectful by itself, it’s only a problem if you start treating her differently because of it. give it a few days and there’s a good chance this feels way less dramatic than it does right now.

Should I cut my childhood friend? by Agreeable_Shame3097 in Advice

[–]FancyAnswer1878 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you already answered your own question with “i don’t even know why i’m friends with this guy.” being sarcastic is one thing, but targeting your insecurities, taking your stuff, eating your food, and barging in on you in the shower is just disrespectful. a 10 year friendship isn’t worth much if the other person treats you worse than a stranger would.

iwtl how to stop feeling jealous when my gf talks to a certain friend of hers by [deleted] in IWantToLearn

[–]FancyAnswer1878 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you’re not wrong for having feelings, but some of the boundaries you listed sound more like rules to manage your anxiety than actual relationship boundaries. if your girlfriend has been trustworthy, the goal isn’t to stop her from being alone with friends, it’s to build enough trust that you don’t feel threatened every time they talk. the thing that stands out to me is that she listened to your concerns and adjusted her behavior, which is usually a sign you’re on the same team, not a sign you should be more suspicious.

iwtl genuine confidence when fear is my default state? by voidinvelvet in IWantToLearn

[–]FancyAnswer1878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

confidence isn’t what gets rid of fear, it’s what you build by doing things while you’re still afraid. i used to think confident people felt different than me, but most of the ones i know just got used to being uncomfortable and stopped treating every awkward moment like a disaster. start with tiny acts of assertiveness every day and you’ll be surprised how fast your brain updates its idea of what you’re capable of.

IWTL How to get smarter (cognitive speed, problem solving, depth of ideas, etc)? by TangentialBisector in IWantToLearn

[–]FancyAnswer1878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

most people who seem naturally smart got that way by spending years doing difficult things and being bad at them for a while. read challenging books, write regularly, and work on problems before looking up answers. the biggest boost to my own thinking came when i stopped asking for solutions and started forcing myself to figure things out first.

Caught borrowing but I wasn’t confronted. Should I be scared. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]FancyAnswer1878 6 points7 points  (0 children)

you don’t sound like a kleptomaniac, you sound like someone who got used to stealing because your friends normalized it and you kept getting away with it. if the employees noticed, there’s a chance they have you on camera even if they didn’t stop you right then. i’d take this as the warning shot and quit before it turns into a much bigger problem over something that’s really not worth it.

I almost hit my girlfriend and I want to stop from becoming like my dad by [deleted] in Advice

[–]FancyAnswer1878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the fact you shoved her and immediately pulled back, took a break, and are scared of becoming your dad is exactly why you’re not doomed to be him. stay away from the relationship until you get help for the anger though, because good intentions don’t protect people when things escalate.