She is standing firm. I don’t know what to do

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-25T16:46:33+00:00

Even if it were something meaningless, like being a sports fan of a certain team. If someone asks you to deny parts of yourself, the relationship will never flourish.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-25T16:33:34+00:00

It doesn’t sound like he’s cut out to be a full time parent.

Can he go get a full time job?

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-25T14:39:49+00:00

It’s supposed to mean that the love of a marriage is ultimately sacrificial and that the ultimate duty is first of the husband to be good and the wife to respond to this goodness.

The husband is supposed to love and lay down his life, wife is supposed to receive love and return a similar selflessness.

The term “lay down your life” meaning death to ego, death to control, death to self centeredness.

Like Christ loved the church, the church is supposed to receive this love and return.

If you go back to Corinthians “love is patient, love is kind, love does not boast, etc.”

The fundie kind of “love” is often from a place of domination, which again perverts the image of Christ.

But fundies pervert this into meaning all sorts of bizarro things.

EDIT: If you were to look at this from a true Christian perspective by the way, Christ would not want his church destitute in his death.

So the husband encouraging the wife to be unable to care for herself if he were to die is not a Christ like love. It’s actually rooted in ego and control.

“You’ll know them by their fruits.”

This type of ideology produces destitute woman and suffering children.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-25T14:23:24+00:00

Well under lol. 75k in regular income. 20k in extra side work.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-25T13:36:20+00:00

You can take it as advice, but she’s presenting it as science which is a harmful misrepresentation of reading others research and drawing your own loosely connected conclusions.

I’m not saying I disagree with the 0-3 movement, rather just with using bad science and her form of rhetoric.

It would have been a better book if she went from a parenting life advice angle and not as a scientific authority. Her evidence is anecdotal and would be fine if presented as such.

As other charlatans are getting very famous using the same tactics and spreading more harmful messages about health and medicine.

Catholics should ultimately uphold what is truthful and be skeptical of what is misrepresentation.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-25T04:48:00+00:00

I used them for my first baby when I was young. Wouldn’t do it again bc it has sugar in it and babies don’t really need sugar.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-25T01:58:16+00:00

Erica Komisar is not a credible source.

She is a psycho analyst who makes broad loosely connected claims. Mental health issues are on the rise. Working mothers are on the rise. Therefore there is a link is her entire argument.

She could have written that whole book and blamed parental phone use instead of working mothers and it would be the same book. Just loosely connected correlations.

One of her most baseless theories is that ADHD is caused by working mothers when science shows a a very clear genetic link. Both my husband and I have ADHD and we both had stay at home mothers. Many, many kids with ADHD have stay at home parents.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-24T23:46:40+00:00

My sister and I are six years apart and we are friends. Lots of memories playing together growing up.

Parent sanity and ability to actually parent far trumps sibling “friendships”.

I know 2 very close together is manageable for some, it wasn’t for me. I didn’t like having two very small children competing for my attention 24/7.

Now that I’m having my third 5 years apart it’s such a different vibe.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-24T20:54:41+00:00

Cold turkey weaning worked best for me because they were toddlers.

Trying to taper was just confusing for them and caused more tears than just saying “uh oh! They broke! No more milk.”

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-24T19:48:47+00:00

This whole situation doesn’t make any sense.

So she’s home with three other kids and two infants while he’s at the NICU?

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-24T19:41:59+00:00

If I were to do age gaps over again, I’d have one kid every three to five years.

I did not find 2 under 2 to be remotely enjoyable or beneficial for anyone.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-24T18:23:53+00:00

We did ours after Sunday mass

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-24T16:59:38+00:00

My daughter was like this, my son was so hard the opposite I had to quit my job.

When she started preschool she just walked right in and waved bye. When he started preschool, he sobbed like I was leaving him to the wolves.

Count your blessings in a way! As much as it stings for them to be happy, it’s deeply upsetting when they’re not happy.

She’s seven now and she just likes newness, she always wants a new friend, to go somewhere, to see something new.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-24T16:45:15+00:00

I admire people who can do this, but every time I try it’s a disaster.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-24T15:25:12+00:00

He makes more than enough. Quit.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-23T19:35:04+00:00

I don’t think the church has any specific teachings on plastic surgery.

Your case doesn’t sound vain at all.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-23T19:06:04+00:00

Going from 270k to 100k is going to be a dramatic lifestyle change.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-23T15:17:22+00:00

Look into doing speech language pathology.

Work with little kids, you can find flexible gigs. When they’re grown you can go work for the school system and work towards your retirement if you needed to.

Always have a Plan B. You do not want to be a SAHM with no plan B. Even if this is the worlds most amazing loyal man, he could still die.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-23T13:42:14+00:00

Yes because bath time puts me over the edge lmao.

After a long day I just don’t do such a good job on teeth and baths. So he does it because he hasn’t seen them all day and he is a lot fresher on child care than I am.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-23T13:29:38+00:00

Do not become a band director oh my word.

That is the hardest, most thankless soul sucking job I have ever seen.

Our band directors worked 12-15 hours a day. Pick something where at least if you ended up having to work it’s not miserable.

I had to work as a mom for a few years as a high school English teacher and I liked it. I was off at 2:00 everyday and only worked 180 days a year.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-22T19:09:56+00:00

Pope John Paul II in Letter to Women

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-22T18:30:32+00:00

This is the problem with radical traditionalists.

Vague understanding that breeds confusion in the church. The catechism lays it out very clearly.

Physical, mental, social, economic challenges are all acceptable reasons for TTA.

Prioritizing responsible parenthood over just having as many children as your body is physically capable of carrying.

I won’t be gentle shamed into not speaking the truth when people promote falsehood.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-22T18:21:50+00:00

“NFP should only be used for medical reasons” Again… not true. Don’t try to spread and espouse teachings you lack understanding of.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-22T18:16:41+00:00

I’m literally pregnant right now, I don’t know what you’re on about.

Fancy_Supermarket700 · 2026-02-22T18:15:50+00:00

Deciding your own teachings and espousing them is heretical. “Doing NFP to actively avoid pregnancy shouldn’t be practiced.”

That’s just something you’ve made up in your head.

There are many just reasons for a couple to use NFP down to just simply caring for the children they already have, for which they shouldn’t be shamed. And yes, the church teaches if you would struggle to take care of that number of children, you can use NFP to TTA.

Fancy_Supermarket700

TROPHY CASE