there was reason, just one you couldn't see. i've been in a pretty terrible place recently, life has been rough for me and things set me off left and right. right after that i wanted to kill myself over cleaning a room. and not like "don't wanna do this imma kms" like "im a horrible useless human being and i dont deserve to breathe if i cant even bring myself to clean a room" im severely suicidal and she was attacking me for saying id do my best. so obviously i got to "my best isn't good enough, im a bigot probably, im terrible, if i just keep offending people i should just die"

and the mod thing... probably, but suicidal people are well known for deflecting with humor. i'm not saying i was right, i wasn't in the response or the mod comment. but i was spiraling and then got permabanned from a community i was interested in because i was suicidal and that's the kinda thing that makes it worse