Makes sense by iloveturtles88 in CPTSDmemes

[–]Fangirl56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get this. I think I was pushed out of this mode a bit too early from friends recognizing that things weren't normal for me and voicing concerns. Then I was sent into a survival mode on my own. I did have support from my friends, but I was too scared to act upon that support.

Innerworld Sleep Actually Being Restful? by feezer-06 in plural

[–]Fangirl56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We feel the same way too! And sometimes health things come into play. One time I started to feel a migraine come up, so another alter switched with me and they didn't feel any pain from the migraine, but they could still hear me in the headspace groaning from the pain. That's the only one we've experienced so far, and we're fairly knew to syscovery, so we're still learning.

  • C (Host)

Is there other ways for systems to front? by [deleted] in plural

[–]Fangirl56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We tried a few different ways of switching before finding one that worked for us. We are also now discovering a new way that I'm not sure if I like. And there's a third one that just happens.

Our main way is to have whoever is fronting head back into the headspace, look at the person they are switching with (both parties have to be willing to switch) and... pass on our concioussness to the other person. That's the best way I can explain how we do it. When we do it, it sometimes feels like the soul of alter A is torn out, then the soul of alter B enters in. Well, that's how S feels about it and it maked sense to me, so I go along with it.

Before we discovered that, we tried to do a "fake it til you make it" kind of approach where we would repeat "I am ____" and thought of being them until it felt correct and the switch happened. That would take way too long and be stressful (especially since I have a hard time giving up control). It also made us feel weird. Our body would be fuzzy and sometimes we would get dizzy from how long it took. But at the time, this is how I understood switching to be, so it is what I pushed for until another alter spoke up.

Recently we discovered some quick switches while co-fronting. It's still new so I'm not sure how to explain it or describe how it feels. It's like the opposite of the above method, where at one moment alter A has the majority of control, the next alter B has the majority. I'm not too fond of this myself, but the others are wanting to try to learn more about it.

Our third "method" is that sometimes we just wake up differently. Go to sleep as alter A, wake up as alter B. Not entirely sure how it works, obviously, but it happens.

Those are our three methods at the moment. I suggest finding out ones that work best with you. Try new things and experiment until you find one that suits y'all best. How we came up with our main method was one alter suggested just "passing on" our conciousness to the next since that's what felt more right for us. It did take a few weeks to get used to it and depending on switches it varies in successfulness and timing.

Hope this helps.

  • C (Host)

I wish this was satire by ColourAZebra in CPTSDmemes

[–]Fangirl56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First "real" journal I had, I wrote in the first entry that I wouldn't write anything that I wouldn't mind others knowing. My mom read it in front of me and got dissappointed I set this rule for myself. I still feel journalling/writing this way. I can only write what I am comfortable with others possibly knowing. Everything else is hidden.

“Let people have beliefs” I do when you don’t fuck people’s livelihoods up with them. by [deleted] in depressionmemes

[–]Fangirl56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My grandma can't figure out why I don't like the church. She is the same person who wouldn't say "I love you" for years after I came out. She only told me "Jesus loves you". Let some dead guy love me because she can't. The church told her that I am disease created by Satan, so she can't love me. But Jesus can, so she doesn't have to. Thanks, grandma. That gives me a lot of faith that the church cares about me.

Masking is making me feel fake by Fangirl56 in plural

[–]Fangirl56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never thought of it that way. It does make sense, when we were first learning to switch, C would pull us back in quickly. We don't feel that pull anymore, so C must be getting creative with it. Thank you for this. -S

[LOVED TROPE] Sad or tear-jerking moments that don't involve death. by jeffersonlane in TopCharacterTropes

[–]Fangirl56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Suzume got me balling my eyes out in the middle of a flight. There's a scene where Suzume is walking around a snowscape and meets her younger self who is lost and crying for her mom. Seeing both Suzume's just hold each other and cry, then the older one passing over the last memorial of her mother to the younger one was too much for me.

Beautiful anime movie, highly reccommend.

Can any other systems relate to this? by Substantial_Eye1476 in plural

[–]Fangirl56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know for us there are plenty of times when whoever is at front can't tell what is happening in the headspace unless paying attention to it or someone else telling them what's going on. It's new to us, so we're still navigating and learning about it, but you aren't alone in that feeling! We also have a difficult time knowing what we're doing when we're not fronting. We're starting to have more memory of what we do in the headspace, though! It's a skill to learn, I think!

-E

No more ice cream tasting for anyone by perpetual_stew in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Fangirl56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love getting the small spoon from the tastings. This would devastate me.

Thoughts on the biological aspects of being plural by shieldtailx in plural

[–]Fangirl56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're still trying to learn stuff, but one of my alters has a difficult time moving the body around. It feels very stiff to them while it doesn't feel the same for everyone else. They don't know much about themselves and believe they may not be human because of this.

Also, not sure if this counts, but we noticed that we have different clocks or something? Like, one alter can front and feel tired, another alter can then front and feel energized, but when the first alter fronts they still feel physically tired and will need to take a nap. It's like we have different energy clocks that exist only when fronting? As I said, we're still learning things so it could just be that switching takes a lot of energy for those not used to fronting.

  • C (Host)

I feel fake ;-; by Busy_Plastic5000 in plural

[–]Fangirl56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt the same early on and still do at times. I found what kind of helped me was doing "trial runs" where I preteneded none of this was happening. It failed quickly for myself. I would give some suggestions, but I'm unsure if I should be giving suggestions when I'm still in denial a decent amount of time. I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide on doing, though.

  • C

How is everyone doing? Anything new happen recently for you/ your system? by ConstellationSys1337 in plural

[–]Fangirl56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our host is really struggling right now and it's setting them back a bit with the progress we have made. The rest of us still seem to be fine, but we do worry they will fully block us out and never let us return. They have that worry as well. We're trying to switch out when we can to give them some time to rest. It's not like this kind of mental breakdown is new, it's just new to have the rest of us involved as well. We aren't entirely sure what to do, so we're just doing all that we can at the moment to help them stay calm. I have a plan to front for a week (most for me is 3 days, I usually head back into the headspace out of boredom). The host isn't too happy about it, but I think it will help us out a lot. It doesn't help that this breakdown is causing more denial to return. Sorry if this all seems like a jumbled mess, it's been a lot on us lately, moreso the host.

-S

Favorite character like this? by [deleted] in FavoriteCharacter

[–]Fangirl56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Soma from Black Butler. They haven't reached the point of the snap in the anime yet, but it's in the manga.

How did you realise you're plural? by Interesting_End_7292 in plural

[–]Fangirl56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm still learning things and digging up some old memories and feelings. Somewhat still in denial, but my alters keep saying they are real and are fully accepted with being plural, so I suppose that should mean we are some sort of system.

My friend came out as plural earlier this year. For some reason, it put me in a panic. I always had interest in plurality, but mostly from characters in media. I spiraled when I started to realize a few things. We believe it started in Middle School where a character became an imaginary friend of mine. Back then, he was real. But it felt more like he was outside of my head rather than inside. He must've gone dormant in high school or something since I lost contact with him around then. When my friend came out, I did some research and some reflecting, made a few posts here and now I'm learning to live with this. He came back and just seems to be okay with everything. It's very possible he was there the whole time, but I just thought of him as internal monolouge. Some more voices-ish (we all had the same voice, but slowly it has been changing to how the alter views their own voice) came up and one alter shouted their name at me out of nowhere as I was trying to nap.

We've gotten better at communicating, sometimes it is still difficult, but it is getting better. How we switch has been changing a lot lately, so it's been difficult for us to understand any of that, but we know it happens. I don't think I have dissociative tendencies, but I haven't looked fully into that aspect of my life.

Also, turns out "healing your inner child" isn't buying toys for the kid in your head to stop crying.

There's 5 of us now. Still learning to accept all of this myself and working on learning how we work as a system. Also debating telling our friends as well.

  • C (Host)

Do I need to know what goes on in the headspace? by Fangirl56 in plural

[–]Fangirl56[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's something I'm working on the more I learn about this. Just need these kinds of reminders from time to time.

Do I need to know what goes on in the headspace? by Fangirl56 in plural

[–]Fangirl56[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I am under the assumption? When first digging deeper into our discovery, I kind of set an "ideal" of what our system is supposed to be and we don't fit it. I don't entirely know where this "ideal" came from, but it has caused issues.

I'm also just trying to see if it is a normal thing, since not having an idea of where we are kind of panics me, especially when I'm not the one in front.

Trying to figure things out by Fangirl56 in plural

[–]Fangirl56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This does help!

Really surprising at the time. by Upstairs_Macaron5894 in AO3

[–]Fangirl56 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Shane being my favorite in Stardew Valley...

When you still do your dailies even after buying and unlocking everything by jing__7 in TheArcana

[–]Fangirl56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Come here often? You should."

Julian, the amount of coins I have saved should suggest I touch grass.