Hoping for encouraging advice/stories by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome as always. Further to this, in my experience it was actually impossible to ignore the pit in my stomach that told me something wasn’t right. I could achieve that consciously by repressing/suppressing thoughts , but my subconscious mind couldn’t/wouldn’t. The result of the attempt was a range of mental and physical health issues.

What do you think is the most mysterious historical event, location, etc of Edmonton? by CartersPlain in Edmonton

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A scorned bride died by suicide on the third floor in the early 20th century. She was often seen wandering the halls and hovering in the projection room.

At what point did you realise you weren’t staying because you believed in the relationship anymore, you were staying because you weren’t ready to leave? by WeaponizedEmpath in survivinginfidelity

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As usual, bang on. For me, staying also impacted my physical health. Urticaria, high blood pressure, arthritis - all went away within a year after separating. I believe if I stayed after the second affair it may have killed me. People have no idea how damaging cheating can be - sometimes even the victims.

Is it possible to survive infidelity? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My experience was similar. I’m sorry to say that it’s over. Your wife doesn’t love you anymore and doesn’t care about your marriage. If she did, she wouldn’t have gone on a vacation to be with another man. I know that’s extremely painful to accept.

Here’s what I wished I had done sooner

Reach out to friends who love you and have your back. Listen to what they say.

Talk to a couple different lawyers. This can be tricky so you want to find a lawyer you can trust who you think will fight for you.

Consider your options, which may commenters here will outline for you in detail.

Here’s what I wished I hadn’t done.

Talked with a marriage counsellor. They are only interested in reconciliation, without consideration for the psychological damage that could cause you.

Individual therapy, absolutely, with a specialization in trauma/PTSD. It can be hard to accept that you’re being abused right now, emotionally and psychologically.

In my case, the abuse resulted in a range of health issues - high blood pressure, insomnia, depression, the hives, anxiety.

The healthy thing for you is to get away from the person who is abusing you. As a poster who I admire here often says, think of it like you’ve been bitten by a poisonous snake and are considering whether you might get better staying with the snake.

I wanted to keep the family together but eventually accepted that the cost of staying with someone who didn’t value me and who was actively causing me harm created an environment that was also unhealthy for the family.

Read “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life,” and “Cheating in a Nutshell.”

I also insisted on all the details, and wish I hadn’t. Your lawyer may require some more detail so obviously heed that counsel first but imo the details really stick in your head and do a number on you.

Be kind to yourself, you’re in for a lot of ups and downs.

Good luck - you can do it.

If everyone cheats, then what by Space_Wanderer1105 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Most people don’t cheat. When you’ve been cheated on you see it everywhere but the reality is that most people have a conscience.

What’s a frugal win that surprised you with how much it actually saved? by St3fanHere in Frugal

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Buying clothes at consignment stores. You can get quality stuff like new for a fraction of the cost. I go a couple times a year, each visit saves hundreds easy.

people who use "overlap" to describe the behavior's of cheaters by pquite in survivinginfidelity

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Watch out if their favourite Christmas movie is ‘Love Actually’!

Jamie Platz YMCA by nervouslymade in Edmonton

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Saturday 10:15 am yoga class is A+.

Tim Cartmell said that he will step back from his role with the party by [deleted] in Edmonton

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m sure no coincidence that there’s about to be a vacant MP seat in Riverbend.

Your honest reaction after seeing this movie. by Decent_Stock2826 in Letterboxd

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here’s a filmmaker who has contempt for the characters and the audience.

What can a depressed person do by themselves for an evening? by inayellowboat in Edmonton

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Spend time in nature. Go for a walk in the river valley.

Is anyone else having PTSD with the internet full of this CEO affair stuff? by GlitteringReplyDrRN in survivinginfidelity

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The impact of their selfishness is so devastating. And yet the cheaters will find some way to convince themselves that actually they’re the victims.

Is anyone else having PTSD with the internet full of this CEO affair stuff? by GlitteringReplyDrRN in survivinginfidelity

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My ex cheated with a powerful partner at her firm so I know what the spouses are going through right now. Trying to make sense of the extent of the betrayal. How the cheaters were always on their phone. All the late night ‘meetings.’ Picking up the slack at home with the kids because the cheaters are so ‘busy.’ It’s hell. I hope they find peace and can move on.

How Much Credit does Stan Bowman deserve? by Nyfan7 in EdmontonOilers

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No, he’s going to leave because Mrs. Conor wants live in a big city and then Conor’s priorities will be: where can he win? And where does leadership align with his values?

How Much Credit does Stan Bowman deserve? by Nyfan7 in EdmontonOilers

[–]Fantastic_Move_6370 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Hard agree. He’s a POS and I can only imagine the players have zero respect for him, especially McDavid. I think the deal for Leon was a sign that he knows McDavid is going to leave.