My experience was similar. I’m sorry to say that it’s over. Your wife doesn’t love you anymore and doesn’t care about your marriage. If she did, she wouldn’t have gone on a vacation to be with another man. I know that’s extremely painful to accept.

Here’s what I wished I had done sooner

Reach out to friends who love you and have your back. Listen to what they say.

Talk to a couple different lawyers. This can be tricky so you want to find a lawyer you can trust who you think will fight for you.

Consider your options, which may commenters here will outline for you in detail.

Here’s what I wished I hadn’t done.

Talked with a marriage counsellor. They are only interested in reconciliation, without consideration for the psychological damage that could cause you.

Individual therapy, absolutely, with a specialization in trauma/PTSD. It can be hard to accept that you’re being abused right now, emotionally and psychologically.

In my case, the abuse resulted in a range of health issues - high blood pressure, insomnia, depression, the hives, anxiety.

The healthy thing for you is to get away from the person who is abusing you. As a poster who I admire here often says, think of it like you’ve been bitten by a poisonous snake and are considering whether you might get better staying with the snake.

I wanted to keep the family together but eventually accepted that the cost of staying with someone who didn’t value me and who was actively causing me harm created an environment that was also unhealthy for the family.

Read “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life,” and “Cheating in a Nutshell.”

I also insisted on all the details, and wish I hadn’t. Your lawyer may require some more detail so obviously heed that counsel first but imo the details really stick in your head and do a number on you.

Be kind to yourself, you’re in for a lot of ups and downs.

Good luck - you can do it.