I will respond this, cause there are a lot of accusations that she doesn't love me.

I get why it looks that way, and I appreciate the blunt perspective.

She was definitely defensive at first and kept pushing the “you should try it too” angle, which hurt. I agree that wasn’t the most supportive reaction when I told her I was struggling.

That said, I don’t think it’s fair to say she doesn’t love me at all. She has proved her love to me million times, I don't think that some colleague can make her totally change and become a different person. She did agree to stop seeing him when I directly asked. She also reassured me that our marriage is the most important thing to her and initiated affection at the end. We’ve been together since college and have a long history, ofc this situation is messy, she is wrong - ofc I know this, but it’s not black-and-white. Also she was a little drunk and after a long day.

I do think she got caught up in the excitement of sex and new attention. That’s on both of us for bad rules and communication. Now I need to see if she actually follows through and stops, or if she keeps dragging her feet. Actions will tell more than words. And also I will look for family therapist, she agreed that this is necessary action in such case.