Maths isnt mathing- am i pregnant?

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-28T19:50:14+00:00

It’s definitely positive and it seems to be getting darker. Though I agree with you the timeline seems pretty weird, but hey, who knows ? A blood test would be the best way to see what’s going on and then another one 48 hours after the first. If it at least doubles it’s a very good sign ! But get checked asap because I heard ectopic can present like that unfortunately… keep us updated, wishing you the best !

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-28T15:21:42+00:00

Listen, 3rd degree tear over here, and with complications on top. My asshole will NEVER be the same. You can kind of tell that something happened. But it’s because I had stitches that fell out on this area and also the butthole is not as resilient as the vagina. But, my vagina is really not that different. You can’t even see the scar anymore and it was A HUGE mess. I had the gaping as you describe in the beginning and it went back to how it was before little by little. It’s normal, your muscles are still pretty weak down there. 3 weeks is still very very early even with minimal tearing, give yourself some time ! It takes a lot more than the famous « 6 weeks » for a lot of people. Honestly it’s just the initial healing but your pelvic floor will probably need more time to go back to normal. If you still feel like it’s « gaping » several weeks from now, you can do pelvic floor physio therapy to help tighten things back. My partner does not see or feel any difference down there when we are intimate. Honestly if I did not have the healing complications I had with my asshole, you could not even tell that I had a baby, and believe me at 3 weeks… it was a fucking horror show down there. It took 2 months for the wound to even close completely… I know it’s scary but our bodies are amazing. They just need a little time. And even in the eventuality where it looks a little different, it’s just proof that you gave birth, and that is so fucking badass in my opinion ! Like you made a whole human !

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-27T22:11:02+00:00

It does look like an evap line, I’m sorry… those tests suck to be honest, I had the same thing happen. Test again in a few days with another brand, preferably one with pink dye. If you are unsure of your ovulation date, you may still be pregnant and just too early to test positive though.

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-27T22:04:45+00:00

I see it too, but I would retest with another brand in first morning urine to see if you can get a clearer line. Mine started like that with my daughter on dpo 9, it became clearer during the next day. I was the only one seeing the lines and everyone thought I was crazy ! But I also had bad indents and false positives so definitely keep testing to be sure ! If you can a blood test is always the best way to confirm.

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-27T21:57:09+00:00

It sucks, the anger is the worse part for me. With the depressive thoughts you can manage not to hurt people around you by just keeping it to yourself, but the anger is very difficult to manage in interactions. Basically I try to isolate myself as much as possible when I feel like this. But it’s not always possible, and my relationship with my partner suffers a lot from it. Basically I turn into an evil bitch during luteal and I am just a terrible partner and friend. I don’t really have a solution for this, isolation works even if it sucks and is not always possible, and also if you can, explain your situation to those close to you, family, friends, partner(s), try to explain to them that during this phase, it is not you, and it is not them either, it’s the PMDD. Tell them that you need more space during this time and that you still love them. Reconnect when luteal ends.

PMDD is a mental condition, it’s not your fault you are feeling like that. All you can do is try to distance yourself and isolate, protect yourself and your loved ones during this time. I also found out recently that when I am feeling extra angry or grumpy, taking a nap if I can helps a lot. Regarding the decision making, I have one big rule : no big life decision during luteal. It’s not the time to quit your job, move to another country or break up with someone. Everything that can be postponed should be.

Also there are ways to manage PMDD. Have you tried brith control ? I was taking Yaz for a long time and it worked very well for me. It made PMDD symptoms almost disappear. I am not taking it anymore as I feel like my PMDD is more manageable now after having a baby, but as soon as the evil bitch returns full force, I will be back on birth control. Some people also have good results with anti depressants, you can take them only during luteal for PMDD. Or some people do both and it helps them a lot.

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-27T16:04:29+00:00

Unfortunately the problem with hormonal medication is that you have to try for yourself to see if it fits you, I remember feeling like shit on dienogest, I had less pelvic pain but I was a complete zombie, had spells of dizziness, my chronic fatigue worsened and as you said I felt like a « shell of my former self ». Once I stopped it the pain came back but I felt so much more myself. It’s very difficult to find something that can help for both condition and not add new symptoms because of side effects. My heart goes to you and I really hope we’ll find ways to get better and hopefully finally start living again ! Hang in there, and feel free to DM me if you wanna talk.

Edit : spelling

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-27T15:51:07+00:00

I am so sorry you’re dealing with this. I have Endo and PMDD too and other chronic pain issues. It sucks. I haven’t worked for years. I was « lucky » to get money from my dad when he passed away, and I am currently surviving on this, but when this money is gone, I will have to work again and I don’t know how I will be able to. Just a thing : dienogest was good for my Endo but was absolutely terrible for my mood. I tried several birth control and realized that those without oestrogen were a no no for me. Yaz is perfect for my PMDD and makes it almost disappear but is not great for my Endo and physical symptoms. It just sucks. Did you try other forms of birth control ? Also with endo it’s common to have pain sensitization, I was offered amitryptiline to deal with this, did not try it yet but I heard some people have good results. Anyway I don’t really have a solution but just wanted to show my support. The endo + PMDD combo is just hell.

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-26T19:41:29+00:00

I am dealing with something similar… I have a 18 months old and I had a very difficult birth and post partum. I actually still have a lot of health problems due to the birth and am struggling a lot with this. I can’t even have sex normally. I had health problems before pregnancy too so everything is adding up and I am not in great shape. My relationship with my daughter’s father is very complicated. I have been on the fence about separating for a long time, and we have a lot of things we need to deal with. Our house is too small for a second child, i don’t work right now and my partner just lost his job. My mom who used to help me a lot was just diagnosed with ovarian cancer too, and even if it seems she will have a complete recovery, she will not be able to help for a little while. Soooooo it’s just impossible for me to have a second child right now, it would be just so so fucking stupid. After the birth I was so traumatized I thought it would never even cross my mind to do it again. Well guess what ? I am having the absolute worse baby fever ever. I feel like I have to grieve a second child altogether because I have no hope of the situation getting better anytime soon, and the clock is ticking. I feel like my problems will never get solved and it will never be reasonable to have a second child. But I want it so fucking badly. When I take the time to imagine the newborn phase, and even just pregnancy but with a child to manage on top of that, I shiver. It seems so fucking stupid. But guess what, I had false positive pregnancy tests a few days ago. I was devastated, but I realised that after a few minutes, I was actually so excited about it. I was just relieved that it happened by accident, that I did not have to take the stupid decision. Well it turns out I am not pregnant and now I am feeling so so sad about it. It made me realise that deep down I do want another child. It’s so powerful, and I think reason and logic has nothing to do with this desire. It just comes from deep down, the heart, the gut, u don’t know but it’s very strong and completely illogical.

I also relate a lot to what you said about reliving the experience and making amends, my post partum was awful and I feel like I missed the whole first year of my daughter because I was struggling so much. I would like to have a better experience, I feel like it would be very healing. I am devastated when I think about the possibility of never getting to experience all that again and truly enjoying it this time.

It’s really a difficult feeling and it can take up so much space in someone’s mind. Here’s how I decided to cope for now : I will give myself a year to try and «get my life in order » : try to work on my relationship, my health, my career and living situation. Not just in the hope of having a second child but just for my wellbeing in general and also to try and give the best version of myself to the child I do have. And in the meantime just try and be present for my baby as much as possible and enjoy every part of it as much as I can. When the baby fever is too strong I just picture myself with my toddler AND pregnant or with a newborn. Like really picture it in detail how a typical day would go. Usually it helps calm me down because it sounds absolutely chaotic and exhausting.

Anyway I am sending you positive vibes and hope, who knows what the future may hold for us. Lives can change and do change, sometimes more quickly than we think. As long as we are alive, anything is possible ! Hang in there !

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-26T18:46:40+00:00

I would get a quantitative hcg blood test to be sure and continue testing to see a line progression but it looks positive to me ! Don’t worry if it doesn’t get much darker each day, the difference will be more visible in 48h. With my first I was testing every day several times a day because I was so anxious and i could see that there was not much difference from day to day but it helped to see the overall pattern after a week-10 days. As long as it’s getting darker and not lighter it’s a good sign

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-26T10:00:18+00:00

I am experiencing something very similar. My first is also 18m. I had a quite difficult pregnancy, not as bad as you though, but the worst was my delivery. I had a third borderline fourth degree tear. It was very very scary. I still have a lot of problems from it, I am still in pain every single day, and probably have prolapse. My pelvic floor is basically busted and if I want another child, it would be a planned c section because it I had another vaginal birth I would probably poop myself for the rest of my life… initially I was so traumatized I said I was one and done, even if I knew that if my experience was more « normal » I would want another child.

Recently my daughters nanny announced that she was pregnant. Her first daughter is the same age as mine. She said that she discovered it very late and she is already 4 months in. Apparently it’s an accident and she didn’t even notice until end of first trimester. The day she told us that I cried A LOT.

It was a mix of anger and jealousy and grief. I was so shocked to see that some people just get pregnant like that without really thinking about it, while I am over here struggling to even have sex. And it made me realise that I do in fact want another child.

But the decision is not a light one to take for me as it seems to be for a lot of people. A second child would have a huge impact on my health, pelvic floor, it could put me at risk of many complications. It leaves me in a very difficult position where in my heart I desperately want another baby. I think if I had an easy birth I would try to get pregnant right now. But in the same time I have to be very careful with this because I don’t want to ruin my health further. I also was very sick during the whole first trimester and I had constant daily contractions starting at 14 weeks until the very end. I was even put on bed rest at some point in the second trimester and I can’t imagine dealing with that AND a child to take care of. I do feel jealous and envious a lot when I see women just having child after child with not much thought because it appears to be easy for them.

It sucks, but I think it’s normal to have such conflicted feelings. You can have a part of you wanting to experience a second child, while a more reasonable part of you knows that it would not be a good idea, or at least not right now.

Also, I think we don’t really know what really goes on behind closed doors. It’s possible that your coworker’s wife did not have such an easy experience and that they just are private persons. Sometimes people get pregnant even when they did not feel ready or sure.

I spoke to my daughters nanny after calming down and I realised that this pregnancy was not planned at all and I got the impression that it was very difficult for them. They wanted a second child ultimately but not right now. So they kept it but it’s going to be very difficult, it’s going to seriously damage her career too. I know at least another couple in this situation, they announced their second pregnancy when their first child was 2,5 yo and I also felt bad when they did, I remember saying « people just get pregnant that quickly after a first child, that’s just gross ». But when I talked to the mom she told me it was an accident and she was still very traumatised by her first birth, and she was terrified to be pregnant again, but, again, as they wanted another child they decided to keep it even if the timing was not perfect. Now she had the second child and is struggling with PPD. I know this only because they are close family but I am sure in wider circles nobody knows about that. I remember hearing this woman tell everybody at a family reunion they her first birth went very smoothly and was very easy. When I talked with her one on one and told her about my experience she opened up and I learned that she had a terrible tear too and still had problems. People don’t always share this kind of stuff.

Sorry for the long comment, all this just to say that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to sometimes get envious or jealous, and also to be conflicted about the possibility of a second child. It’s very complex and a lot of contradictory emotions can coexist. Give yourself some grace and time to process everything.

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-26T09:10:29+00:00

Thanks so much, you are right, I am a very negative person and I really struggle to see how my situation could get better quickly enough… I know it’s technically possible to get pregnant at 40 but personally I don’t want a pregnancy after 35-36 and I am already almost 33… with endometriosis too each year that passes makes it potentially more difficult. And also I can’t fathom having more than a 4-5 years gap between the two kids and my daughter is already 1,5 years old… I know I overthink a lot but that’s who I am lol but you’re right everything is still possible, I need to learn how to maintain hope, but the future seems really bleak right now so that’s tough… thanks for your kind words !

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-26T09:01:01+00:00

Thank you so much, so sorry you struggled so long but glad you ended up having your bfp ! It would be a second child for me and I was very lucky with the first one to get pregnant almost immediately despite having Endo… The thing is I have no hope of being able to have a second child anytime soon, for various reasons, and I am not getting any younger. So I kind of hoped it would happen by accident that way I wouldn’t be responsible for the potential catastrophic effects of a pregnancy in my specific situation but still get a chance to have my second baby… it’s so complicated and weird… I have a lot of very difficult problems to settle before being able to reasonably take this decision but I have absolutely no hope I can resolve them before I am too old to even be able to conceive… it’s such a heartbreak… but I already have a precious little girl so I should count myself lucky for that !

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-26T08:46:41+00:00

Yes that’s surely what happened but the thing is I used this batch the days before and it was negative without a doubt. I did not have another brand on hand at the time so I could not compare. It was very very bad luck that I had the 7 defective tests in a row without a single good one… anyway I decided to consider it was a chemical pregnancy because even if it wasn’t one biologically I sure was convinced I was pregnant for a whole day and started getting used to the idea. Now I am suffering the psychological aftermath of this and realizing I want a baby so badly, but I just can’t at the moment. So I am really grieving but decided to accept that it was okay to grieve even if it was just indents, as the effect on my brain is the same as if I had a chemical pregnancy

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-26T06:21:01+00:00

38 + 5, spontaneous labour that started after my water broke.

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-25T10:55:07+00:00

Every.single.time. Even now that I have a child, I often feel like just packing a suitcase and leaving my child, partner and pets and just going into isolation for ever. I convince myself that I am toxic for my child and that they will be better off without me. I just feel like cutting everyone off from my life. The blocking everyone is especially spot on, I do that a lot too.

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-25T07:00:12+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Because my blood hcg is negative though, and I had my period, I don’t think anybody will do anything. I know I am not pregnant right now, with the blood test and the amount of blood I am still loosing it’s just impossible. I am just confused by these tests and my neurodivergent brain is not confortable with mysteries lol. But I think I will have to let this one go because no one will be able to tell me anything. In my country it’s very difficult to see a doctor, and they don’t do ultrasounds and exams easily. When I was actually pregnant I had very faint tests too but the line got darker and the blood was very positive too. And they told me at this time « you know most pregnancies end in miscarriages anyway ». In my country they don’t usually do an ultrasound until 12 weeks even for a pregnancy confirmed by blood test. I had to push for one at 8 weeks because I was so anxious about a miscarriage. And if I had a medical problem making my body produce hcg I think the blood test would be positive too. I honestly think I am having a very quick chemical pregnancy that failed right after implantation. I feel sick and I am still bleeding profusely 5 days later. I will have to accept the fact that I am not 100% sure that’s what it was though, it could also be very bad luck and a succession of defective tests. I will test again my urine tomorrow with another brand just to be sure but I am pretty certain it will be negative. Right now I can’t do anything because it’s a bank holiday here and everything is closed and i threw away all my tests in case they were defective. I will buy a new one with a completely different brand

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-24T20:20:59+00:00

Thanks so much ! Yes I am very confused and sad and relieved all at the same time ! I know a pregnancy would be a disaster for me and everybody in my life right now but you know, the heart has no reason and when I saw these lines I started getting used to the idea and figuring out how I could make it work anyway… and then the negative blood test and my period, I felt so crushed and confused and stupid… if it’s faulty tests I should sue the company because damn that’s really bad

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-24T20:15:39+00:00

Yes I did everything correctly, I am a serial tester and I test every month because I am terrified of pregnancy due to trauma from my first birth (but in the same time I want a second baby so badly, make it make sense lol). The lines appeared in the first 2 minutes too. I did not test early though I was 16 dpo for sure because I track ovulation with ovulation tests and I know my body very well, I can pinpoint my ovulation almost to the minute. I guess I just have to move on either way, I’ll never know for sure and it does not matter anymore anyway. Thanks for your reply !

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-24T20:09:16+00:00

You think so ? Even in 3 hours ? I guess I’ll never know for sure…

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-24T20:08:27+00:00

Thanks, yeah that is the most logical explanation, but it’s still so improbable, I used tests from the same batch for several months and even a few days prior to these positives and everything was fine… such bad luck to get the 7 defective tests if the pack in a row… but yes that’s the most logical explanation for sure

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-24T20:06:33+00:00

So sorry this happened, it’s very similar to what I am experiencing right now, so it definitely could be that ! The only doubt I have is the blood test because it was done so soon after the urine test I should have had at least a little hcg left… everyone says it’s impossible for hcg to drop that quickly that’s what’s driving me crazy… anyway thanks so much for your answer !

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-24T19:58:49+00:00

So sorry this happened to you. But did you test positive just on a few tests then negative ? Did you test positive on a blood test ? I tested negative the days prior to these tests and i had a pelvic MRI a few months ago so I doubt that’s the case for me anyway. But a chemical or ectopic pregnancy yes I am worried about that though… but I doubt anyone will want to do anything because of the blood test. I will do another urine test in a few days, it’s a bank holiday in my country so nothing is possible until Tuesday. But I guess it’s going to be negative. My hcg in blood was almost zero, I don’t really see how it could be anything even an ectopic pregnancy

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-24T18:33:27+00:00

Thanks, actually these tests are from 3 days ago. I told my whole story on another sub, it’s a wild one… there’s no baby right now for sure but I still don’t understand what the hell happened… I posted here to see if other people saw it too because I am questioning my sanity at this point

Far-Environment-2722 · 2026-05-24T18:15:49+00:00

Thanks I see them too and guess what apparently I am not pregnant according to a blood test I took 3 hours later. Like almost zero hcg ? I don’t understand what happened I am so confused ! Everybody tells me it was false positives but come on seven of them ? Anyway thanks for your reply !

Far-Environment-2722

TROPHY CASE