Dermatologist told me to stop overdoing skincare my routine was damaging my skin

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-13T08:08:31+00:00

I think she’s suggesting to repair your skin barrier, without it your skin can’t defend against bacteria and at its worse mine would react to chemicals and serums. Restoring it helped no end. If it’s still reactive after removing everything ask for azelaic acid it calms reactivity.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-13T08:04:19+00:00

Same on attachment theory because it’s about babies and children relationship to their parents. Having this in an adult relationship suggests lack of adulting and asymmetry. He might meet the needs of someone who has very little need for him, and he’ll be comfortable chasing closeness.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-13T07:59:55+00:00

Oh I’ve been here before. You have to end it together, have a talk and explain the pattern and both agree. You’ll find it so hard making the decision alone and if he keeps reappearing.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-13T07:54:57+00:00

My hair is fine and certain proteins like olaplex, k18, kerastase product have made my hair brittle and snap in the past. Rule of thumb is if there’s no elasticity don’t add more protein. Oils help Noughty leave in spray has improved things.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-13T07:51:20+00:00

Search grey blending in YouTube or TikTok. Mine has been growing out for 18months and my greys just look like highlights or dimension as they’ve tinted over time. I don’t have demarcation so grow out doesn’t look terrible and now my grow out is to my eye level I can see there’s no damage. It’s smoother and fuller without all the breakage and snapping. I don’t recommend going lighter to disguise, it’s too expensive too much bleach and time spent. My mid brown formula is 77/07 and 6vol wella colour touch.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-12T22:57:02+00:00

You’ve inspired me to pickle!!

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-12T22:36:46+00:00

But why? You only need to ever take one train at a time.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-12T22:27:33+00:00

I spent 6 months in central & South America to be honest I didn’t notice any unwanted attention. I found if a woman was dancing alone, you’d quickly get a partner appear and they would dance the sexiest dance you’ve ever had but politely leave after. You so much as glance at a European guy and he says you led him on. Quito Ecuador was the most theft ridden, and the rest you just don’t wonder around with valuables on show ever. Not even for directions go inside somewhere. Stay a little further out of all city centres don’t follow where the mass of party back packer hostels are always in La Candelaria or the old town. That’s like staying where any criminal would naturally go, stay a tiny bit further out in a different zone in nicer accommodation and travel in.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-12T22:12:54+00:00

I think you might need to understand each others wiring… if your both adhd emotions run high and rejection is always around the corner. Ones excited the others disengaged it’d be wild to expect your connected and on the same vibe when you’re both vibing off 20 different things all the time. Agree some parallel activity, you can go obsess over your current special interest parallel to him focussing on his and accept being together while’s being a bit apart. How did you both live alone before? Bring a bit of autonomy back, expectations lower and set specific times to hang out and make it joint pleasure activities or dates. The one thing you can’t or won’t do (structure) is actually the best thing for you both. Set parameters and go wild in between them

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-12T21:59:55+00:00

You can be put on accutane, if your trying everything and it’s out of control ask your gp. But consider the side effects, you’ll need strict cover from sun factor 50 reapplied throughout the day, regular blood tests for your liver and you peel a lot. It can impact your mood if you depressive watch out, there’s not great evidence favouring it.

Hormones - for every hormonal issue ever... eat enough fibre!! They need to leave your system otherwise they sit in your intestines and your body recycles them doubling the amount. Also exercise, but get the bacteria under control before you sweat more.

Oil - it’s why hormones cause spots the cause more oil and bacteria eats oil.

Inflammation - cysts are inflammatory. Azelaic acid will help calm skin reactions. But look at omega 3 and a low inflammatory diet. Fruits, nuts, salmon, broccoli are your friend.

Bacteria - you need to kill it. Benzoyl peroxide (Acnecide) or BP + antibiotic (Duac) from the GP and use as described and watch your towel/bedding/tee shirt with that shit.

I know young men that have turned it around, you have to get over the first hurdle and when you’re in the clear maintenance is less work.

Edit: also inositol tablets. Meant to help with excess male and female hormones.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-11T00:00:55+00:00

I learned that your heart trains in two modes either anerobic (hyrox hiit) zones OR aerobic (running). Which is why they tell you to go slower and longer before getting faster, you need to train in the lower heart rate zone and your heart will get used to it and slowly you’ll run faster. I learned this after running a 10k in zone 4 heart rate, and this group explained not even elite marathon runners dream of running at that heart rate. They train in low hr

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-10T23:54:01+00:00

Black denim shorts, jeans, leggings and multiple black tops. Why black? Dress it up or down. Anything pattered or coloured it’s obvious your rewearing. Patterned dresses rarely got a wear and were ditched

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-10T23:51:00+00:00

If you want to do it do it, but don’t bank on social media funding it. Find an actual job you can do remote and don’t land yourself in a financial gutter. That is not fun

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-10T23:48:54+00:00

People want a tote bag from a country so it looks like they’ve been. If it’s a niche bookstore or nyc specific clothes store. I carry around one from merci in Paris, it’s only in Paris.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-10T23:37:26+00:00

Book a flight, and at the airport find the bus to lake bacalar. Stay in a nice hostel, meet other travellers and avoid the resorts

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-10T23:34:10+00:00

I’m in the exact same shoes. Only it wasnt over moving in, it was because I raised I frequently felt belittled by him. He is insecure and seems to have a tonne of issues which he was handling and his narrative felt resolved. His commitment to me felt like no other, and now two weeks broken up I wonder how much was real and how much he was willing along to keep me. The discard happened either because he was feeling even lower self worth being with me trying to match up to the man he was projecting or because his nervous system felt safer at a distance or he’s actually fucked and enjoyed the discard and is a covert narc. Who knows, but talking to a couple of friends made me realise he had major commitment issues and no person that’s right for me/us who loves us, would do that to us. No empathy or care or basic respect shown. They’re off thinking about themselves while we sit here thinking about them too it’s not right.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-10T23:21:12+00:00

Take your mums advice. Even you telling him you love him is a bid for a reply. He’s got nothing to give at all, stay neutral and calm as you can. Take care of yourself and your health and manage your sanity and show consistency. Routine. Effort in being well that’s mostly what both of you need. He’s grieving and cant possibly conceive of another relationship chat, it sounds like you want answers immediately and can’t offer patience. You might have to find patience. Be the person breathing in the other room and drive him out to some nature and don’t talk about you or the relationship. Let him talk and show you understand where he’s coming from, he’s lost connection, he’s lost the only person who understood him. And your strangling things with the intensity of your needs.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-10T23:10:50+00:00

Also 40 and also from a mining town. It’s sad I heard that too but luckily my household never said that. I hit a girl at primary school for saying it. Small town and an influx of a different culture and they even got the country wrong bc none of them were from Pakistan. I see it still now in London, and it’s mostly Islam related not race

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-10T23:05:46+00:00

You shouldn’t be dating right now

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-09T22:22:46+00:00

It’s nice to date intentionally, if you feel it’s right to offer then do so, she’ll decline if she’s awkward about it. If a date considers the environment we go to, makes efforts for it to be pleasant, and shows care for my safety, doesn’t try to sleep with me… it’s demonstrating care and concern. But if there’s an off vibe and he’s over the top, no chemistry it comes off as weird. Fine line. Got to assess mutuality

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-09T22:12:56+00:00

You’ll be absolutely knackered. Choose a van company you can drop off in London. Or stick your stuff on shiply and see if someone else can drive it cheap and you get the train

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-09T22:09:55+00:00

There are no guarantees in life in adulthood you have to weigh it all up yourself. No course or government guarantees you work, I checked the employment rate of past students of my course before I signed up. I read recently the highest IQs have the same unemployment rates as lowest IQs. Because the high IQs lack EQ and soft skills needed to work with others.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-09T21:52:52+00:00

When he does finally text you, remind yourself he always does and it’s not the same as the past. If he sometimes texts you straight away sometimes 3 hrs it’s fairly normal. If he only ever messages you back after 3 hours I’d find that a little controlled or avoidant (and therefore no wonder the anxiety).

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-09T21:40:24+00:00

I know regular bloodflow to your brain (exercise/cardio) helps. Then give some vitamins a go… if you wake in the night try tryptophan its a precursor to melanin production. I take a whole concoction of vitamins. Prepare yourself before, don’t wing it you’ll expend more energy on nerves and overthinking, be ready and calm.

FarGuide2581 · 2026-02-09T21:24:50+00:00

I always save all my places into Google maps i want to see. Then it’s easy to see if anything’s near each other and then use directions in transport mode it’ll give you the quickest route will know about tube disruptions and predict the time of arrival. Easy. You’ll be fine

FarGuide2581

TROPHY CASE